Fickle Fate
by allidesu411
Summary: After recruiting a new girl for her captain, Mikazuki has issues with her best friend.What kind of issues are they exactly? Companion to Meganimexiii and onesonglory33. Gets better after the first couple of CH. LEMON RenjiXOC and many other pairing hint
1. The Newbie

I was never real happy about the whole new recruit thing, but since Uta and I had been put in charge of the misson, I sucked it up. Captain Kuchiki wasn't exactly the kind to be questioned when unnecessary. It was normally the whole formal reception that bored me to death, but we weren't doing hat today for some reason. Aye aye Captain.

As I stood next to Renji, Uta, and Ichigo, the soon to be newest member of the sixth division came through the door to stand in front of us. As she made her way to our front and center, Ichigo let out a low mutter, "What I don't get is why I have to be here. "

"It could be that your doing the captain's sister. Ya, I think that has something to do with it," trailed quietly out of the side of the red headed pineapple's mouth that was standing next to my right.

"Why I oughta!!!" Ichigo mumbled as he set to pounce on Renji. I had to simultaneously kick Ichigo behind little Uta to keep him quiet and elbow renji to keep him from overreacting as the captain glared at us with daggers.

"That's the cue to cut the shit," I whispered at the morons I called my friends. As Rukia showered the newbie with compliments as the men around me gained their composure, Uta had all to do to keep from laughing at all of the stupid happening next to her. These were my friends, more or less family, and they were nothing but dysfunctional. Uta and I thought Sayuri would be the perfect fit for this group of weirdos.

Captain Kuchiki had trusted us with the mission of scoping out possible new sixth division members in the academy. Of course the captain had the last say, but we had to pick the lineup for review. And Sayuri was on the top of the list.

"Why do you think he finally picked her?" Renji muttered again in my direction.

"Well she was the best combat expert in the group. And I think there were a couple of... other reasons." I whispered staring at Sayuri as I rocked on my heels thinking of the way the captain couldn't stop staring at her that day in the soul academy.

"No!" Renji whispered as loud as a mild yell while i acted like I had no idea what the hell he was yelling about. Thank god rukia was still occupying the newbie's attention while Byakuya scolded his second in command and then acted as if he were bored with the situation. _**Guess I was right**_. Uta looked as though she was going to burst at the seams from holding in laughter.

The three of us were no different than the day we had graduated from the soul academy and into the sixth division; Uta, Renji, and I. Our evil plots and excruciating work had all paid off. And here we stood never to be seperated again. That was after all our worse fear. Sayuri will now be a part of this idiocy that fueled the most stoic and serious captain's divsion. _I hope she's ready_...

".... Uta and Mikazuki will show you to your home."

"Oh! That's our cue!" Uta whispered loudly snapping me out of my daydream. She always knew when I was off in my own world and had become pro at snapping me back to reality. Sayuri looked us up and down for a quick second, and we let her, but only for a second. After greetings were exchanged we quickly hauled Sayuri back to 'the crib' as uta called it. Each of us dragging her by an arm. She couldn't take her eyes off the captain.

_**I was soooo right...**_Uta seemed to read my thoughts and we chuckled together. The captain had muttered something to Sayuri and as she responded with a simple, "Yes captain." Uta and I were already en route and there was no stopping us. I nodded a goodbye to everyone as uta yelled, "BYE!" Ichigo and Renji just shook their heads and laughed as Rukia waved energetically. The captain just shuffled away looking burdened as always, but had an odd expression of bewilderment on his face. He sent back a quick glance in our direction. As an overly excited uta dragged sayuri and me out of the door, our eyes met and he turned away quickly. He knew he was caught. _**Ya I am definately not wrong**__. _I told myself with a small chuckle.

Let the games begin.

*Done on my ipod so there may be typos/errors*


	2. The Song from the Beginning

After hauling Sayuri to her new home outfitted with everything sixth division, we showed her just how odd the three of the reigning officers of our division really were. Shortly upon entering and showing her around, Renji decided to make an… unannounced appearance. After cleaning up the mess and making sure Sayuri was going to try and get some rest, Uta and I left to our duties of the day. And on top of patrol and student training, we now had to get someone to let the captain know, our skylight needed to be repaired. Replaced would be the better word. _Thanks Renji…_

The day went by the same as it would any other day. Combat training in the soul academy is hardly thrilling unless someone does something idiotic and loses an appendage, so few of them show real promise in fighting. But nonetheless Uta and I do take our job seriously and care for our students. But today Uta was bouncing with anticipation to get home and pick apart the new girl, while my mind kept wandering and I almost lost an ear showing a small little punk how to perfect a rollback kick.

Class closed up after three time dragging hours of hand to hand combat, and Uta and I packed in our zanpacktos and made the walk home. Uta was skipping in slow motion next to me as we walked in silence, I stared at the ground. She and I had an awkward friendship from day one, but we fit together like a glove. I remember being walked to my new room by my sensei on the first day of the soul academy. "This will be your housing for the rest of your stay here, hopefully you will get along with your roommate because it will be the one you are stuck with," the tall gray haired man looked over his shoulder at me, " for good."

"Yes, Sensei," I said with a gulp. I had never been close to anybody other than my brother in the mortal world, so this may be a little difficult trying to live alone in a room with someone else.

"Here we are," the older man knocked on an out of place yellow door and walked in, "Anybody home?" As he walked in asking the question, small little Uta bounced off her bed and stood at attention.

"Yes, Sensei. I am sorry for not paying attention," She said snapping her feet together and bowing an apology. She had the normal uniform on that I had been holding in my hands for the last hour. With her dark hair, long bangs, and wide eyes, she was the cutest thing I had seen, yet somehow seemed terrifying. _maybe I ought to not push her buttons…_

"No problems, darling. This is your new roommate, Mikazuki. She has jumped her first year and will be accompanying you to you classes. I hope you will show her the ropes," He stared at her down his nose.

"Yes, Sensei. I will, Sensei," she said bowing again as the older man just turned and left the room. We both turned our heads and stared blankly at the man.

"So much for goodbye and good luck," I scoffed at the door. I turned at the giggle behind me, Uta was smiling at me sheepishly.

"I am not very good at socializing, but I think we are going to get along okay. Is that your sketchbook?" She asked pointing to the book laying against my uniform in my hand. Uta silently pointed to the book she had been paying attention to on her bed. It was lying open exposing a sketch of a dancer, "You can't be all that bad if you like to draw. Especially since you didn't say anything mean about the door."

"I like the door! It's much better than those boring brown things. Besides I tend to be anti social too, and sarcastic. So if I get out of control with my sarcasm, you have all the permission in the world to knock some sense into me," I said grinning and plopping my things on the bed across the room. We looked at each other and giggled in agreement.

We had been together ever since, and I doubted we would ever separate. Hell, we didn't even have to talk to each other when we were together. There was never an awkward silence between us.

We finally reached the door to our home to find a note taped to the door. I leaned over Uta's shoulder to read as she pulled the note down.

_The skylight has been replaced_

_Captain Kuchiki_

"Thank god he understands how retarded his leuitenant really is. Renji would have been dead a loooooonnnnng time ago," Uta said crumpling the paper up and throwing it over her shoulder.

"Thank god he realized the pain in the ass we would all be when he signed us on together," I chuckled pushing the door open as Uta turned the knob.

"Ya, but we kick ass separately; and as a team. We are soooo worth it."

"True that," we giggled together as we took our shoes off inside the door.


	3. Pot and Kettle

To Uta's dismay, we came home to a dark house. "Looks like sayuri finally fell asleep," I muttered as we marched to the kitchen.

"Dammit! Guess I will just have to wait till she wakes up," she shrugged.

"Hahaha way to be a creeper," I laughed as she poured us both apple juice into two small tumblers with the sixth division symbol etched in them.

"That's just how I role," she giggled. I went to sit down at the small table, "Aren't you going for your run? That idiot is probably waiting for you anyway."

"I thought you might not want to wait for sayuri to wake up all by yourself," I said confused.

"I'm okay. I have a sketch I should try to finish. Besides moron will take forever to get over it if you just stand him up," she laughed into her glass.

I sighed, "You're probably right. I'll go get changed." I shuffled out of the kitchen to my room and shed my shihakusho onto the ground in front of my closet. I pulled ot the black track suit that Akako had made for me for my last "birthday". It was black with red elastic and I loved it. The pants were baggy and the hood on the sweatshirt was enormous. The sixth division symbol was emblazoned on the back in bright red and outlined in white. I would live in this thing if I could. If you insist on running, which I still think is for imbeciles, you might as well do it in style; the shihakusho might not be to comfortable to keep running around in24/7. She was the most awesome gift giver.

"Alright, I'm off," I said bouncing down the steps in front of the crib pulling my hood over my head. I heard a faint bye being yelled out the front window as I sped off down the nearest back alley. Adrenaline pumping, sweat pouring down my face and chest, as I honed in on the sound of my feet pounding the ground instead of the fact my lungs were screaming for more air. Thanks to this stupid gash on my leg, I hadn't taken a proper run in ages. Guess Akako and I shouldn't take friendly sparring so seriously.

I came around the bend down the way from the captain's home after about twenty minutes of winding through and back down side streets in the seretei. As I neared I noticed the captain walking back towards his home and sitting on the front stoop in the twilight. "good evening, captain," i gasped as I came closer.  
I seemed to break him from thought, as I normally did. He bowed his head slightly and said a kind, "good evening, mikazuki. You better hurry, I just saw renji walking down the road a short while ago. You know how the hot head hates to wait." he wasn't as cold as the world seemed to think he was. But then again the captain had us by his side for quite a while, and we all were easier to get along with than to simply try and deal with. But the captain had always seemed to have an affection for us as a team. The three of you are family to one another, you will put up with alot more for each other. As well as fight to greater extremes for one another. This is what makes our squadron so esteemed and you all will exemplify it. I also wish I had what the lot of you do, I admire it. He had once said to me when we had talked privately shortly after our arrival to the squad.

"Great..." I said rolling my eyes and picking up speed slightly, "Thanks for the warning, captain. Try and sleep for once."

"Anytime. And I will. One of these days you will have to take it easy on yourself as well," he smiled at me as I sped by in the growing darkness.

"No time!" I shouted back over my shoulder as I tore off down the street. The sooner I reached that damn tree the sooner I could stop running. My lungs were starting to scream at me as the old wound on my leg began to throb. I heard a deep laugh from somewhere behind me as I kept pace.

I walked slowly up the grassy hill to slow my heart beat to a normal rate. By the time I reached the largest tree on the crest of the hill, my lungs were happy once again. It was only my leg that screamed in protest as I sat down at the base of the tree next to renji. He was shaking out his long red hair as he frantically scratched his head. "You know you make your wounds take twice as long to heal 'cause you never actually rest," he reprimanded underneath bright red locks that were flopping about.

"That's what everyone seems to keep telling me," I puffed staring at my leg. I was too lazy at the moment to pull the pant leg up and examine my bandage. I just stared up at the stars that hovered above the soul society and got lost in thought.

"Well..." he snorted combing his hair around his face to put it back in order.

"Well what," I said still staring up trying not to space out.

"Fine I'll look at it," renji snapped slightly repositioning himself next to my right leg.

"Really it's fine," I said pulling my leg back towards myself as he reached for it. I finally took my eyes off the sky and looked to the smirking face of my best friend.

"Hurts doesn't it?" he chuckled pulling my leg back. I figured it would be easier to not start a fight, I was to drained to actually argue tonight. He lifted my pant leg and secured it around my knee I watched as he pulled the tape off the bandage and unwound the wrap. I cringed when he pulled the gauze off the wound, he smirked again at my wince when yanked a stray piece of cotton from the wound. "Come on, we should change this. It's starting to ooze," renji said examining the wound closer.

"Oozing what?" I asked cocking am eyebrow.

"Its clear, so it's not infected. But you might have busted a stitch. I can't tell in this light," he said squinting at my leg.

I groaned as he grabbed my elbow and hauled me to my feet. As renji began to walk briskly down the hill, I followed shuffling my feet and limping slightly, like an injured seven year old. "Are you okay? You've been acting funny, you're not even talking."

I puffed, "Ya, I just can't seem to find my bearings today."

Renji raised an eyebrow curiously, "Maybe it's cause of the new girl. How is she doin so far?"

"Ya, maybe. I am not sure how she is. She was asleep when we got home," I muttered lifelessly kicking the dirt under my feet as we hit the road.  
Renji let out a groan himself and yanked my hood off my head, "You're really out of whack today, huh?" Normally I would have started bickering, but like I had said, I just wasn't on my game today. I just shrugged as I limped along next to my friend. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Don't worry. Renji is here. He always fixes things."

"Why am I suddenly less comforted than I was five minutes ago?" I laughed as he took his arm away and cuffed me on mine. We both laughed as I staggered back to my position next to the red head.

He sighed as we made way back to his house, "So do you really think the captain likes this new girl?"

"Her name is Sayuri, not new girl," I said resulting in him shoving me away for being a smart ass again. I laughed, "And ya I do. My gut is usually never wrong."

"It's all a little weird if you ask me."

"No one did ask you," I got pushed again. Regaining my balance I finished, "And we aren't exactly normal. Despite what the rest of the soul society thinks."

"True, I hope she fits in as well as you think she will," he snorted. We arrived at his door.

I stopped for him to unlock the door, "She will, don't worry so much." He pushed the door open and I slid in before him. He entered behind me and the door clicked shut.

Slightly fumbling down the dark hallway, Renji was close behind, "I know where the light switch is. You don't have to plaster yourself to me," I said reaching for the switch on the wall. I suddenly lost balance as I hit a table with my toe, "Gah!"

He reached for my elbow and planted me back solidly on my feet as I almost fell to the ground, "Ya and you always manage to trip over something in the process." I cursed him as I bounced on throbbing toe. He just laughed at me while walking towards the kitchen door on the right, probably to make tea. Renji always had a fixation with tea.

I limped into the living room on the left. There was no doorway, the hallway just opened into the large room. I plopped in my favorite spot on the huge black velvet couch. It had the sixth division symbol on each of the giant pillows that replaced the traditional backboard. There was a couch length matching black coffee table set in front of it. I pulled a pillow into my lap and nestled myself into the spot that seemed to remember the impression of my butt. I had been here that often. As I held the pillow against my chest with both arms, I rested my chin on top of it. I twisted my leg so I could see the wound. I guess it wasn't exactly pretty. I puffed a piece of hair out of my sight to show my disgust in the unhealing wound when in walked the pineapple with two mugs, "No it's not pretty." I just took the mug he handed me and ignored the fact he seemed to read my mind. It happened too often to actually put any thought into. Guess that's what happens when you are together so often. I had started spending time with renji at night mostly, and uta during the day. Only ever since their little drunken meeting they didn't seem extremely comfortable around each other. We all used to meet at the tree ever since we made the sixth division. I prayed Uta wasn't killing sayuri with questions while I was gone.

Renji put the stack of supplies he had been carrying under his arm on the table. He sat crossing his legs like a kindergartener on my right facing me and pulled my leg onto his lap. He plucked at the stray stitch with a pair of tweezers while I sipped my tea, "HOT!!" I yelped holding my mouth open and fanning it with my hand.

"I just yanked a stitch out of an open wound and you shout because of the tea," he shook his head and laughed as I stuck my burnt tounge out at him, "So stubborn."

"Alright pot!" I hissed, "And don't say shutup kettle... Ouch! You did that on purpose!" I yelled as he poked the inside of my injury with the tweezers.

"Did not," I nodded my head frantically in protest as I sipped my tea more carefully. He laughed at me again, "Prove it." I huffed and made a face like a two year old who hadn't gotten their way. If anyone thought renji was stubborn, pft, I could out do him at his worse sometimes. Renji began to restitch my leg together, the smirk never leaving his face. I was almost immune to the feeling of a needle in my flesh. Almost being the key word. He apologized as I winced and asked, "So I haven't seen you all week. Which is weird anyway. What's new?" We usually met every night at that old tree, but with preparing everything properly for sayuri: documents to be signed, new arrangements in the bunkhouse, and clearing the rest of the traditional paperwork. We hadn't had much time between all of that and our normal duties to see each other for more than five seconds let alone talk. "I mean besides your dwindling attention span that seems to be getting worse."

"If you really want a fight just hit me and let's go, but your little comments aren't really helpful," I snapped.

"Sooooorry," he said raising his hands in defense.

I sighed and leaned into the giant pillows behind me, "No I'm sorry. I have been like this all day," I put my hands in my lap holding my mug and shifting my eyes to my newly wrapped leg still sitting in renji's lap. "Apart from wanting to erase my head of old memories... Not much."

"Flashbacks again?" he asked, stretching the thread out and biting off the end. I just nodded changing focus to the mug in my hands and he continued, "You'll get over it. You always do.... No other type of 'meetings' lately?"

I raised an eyebrow in his direction figuring out what he meant, "Have I slept with anyone? God you are the most un subtle person ever. Pft, i have no time to breathe, let alone do acrobatics." Renji laughed at me as he reached over to grab his own mug. I sipped again, "But I doubt that stopped you," I said nonchalantly as he tightened the end of a new bandage and secured it.

His turn to raise the eyebrow, "What have you heard?"

"That you and Ichigo seem to be arguing for a better reason than just the fact you're both asses," he spit his tea out in front of me like something out of a movie. I just continued sipping like nothing was out of the ordinary. I muttered out of the side of my mouth, "If you stain this suit I am goin to sick Akako on you."

"THAT'S A LIE!!! WHO TOLD YOU THAT! I AM GONNA KILL THEM FOR SPREADING THOSE RUMORS!!!" he completely blew a gasket. I could almost feel the steam coming out of his ears.

"Would you calm down. It's just rumor," I rolled my eyes. He was having a hissy fit. I got up from the couch to go get more tea as he continued fuming. I didn't think it was rumor, look what happened with us and shuhhei, but I wasn't gonna let him see the smirk on my face. I really wasn't in for a screaming match right now.

After laughing to myself in the kitchen while fixing myself more tea and listening to the idiot rant out loud, I plopped back down in my spot. I pulled my pillow out of reni's grasp, as he seemed to have been abusing it to get out aggression, and got comfortable again, "You done yet?" I turned to look at him still in his shihakusho, hair loose around his face, arms crossed, and lips puckered in his face of disgust. It usually made me laugh, but I contained myself somehow.

"I'm not gay."

"Mhm," I muffled with a mouthful of hot tea. The look got worse after that. I groaned loudly, "What?! I just said I know! What more do you want from me!"

"I hate you sometimes," he pouted. He was obviously taking his anger out on me.

The clock struck 11 as our voices raised and we began to argue. I had had enough right then. He wasn't getting away with it this time.


	4. Hazy Reality

**I stirred in a haze, gaining consciousness slowly. I could smell Renji's musky scent thickly in my nostrils. **_**Oh that's probably because I am pressed against his chest.**_** I opened my eyes to see the pale white and black inked skin centimeters from them. I wiggled trying to move but my right arm was pinned underneath Renji. He was lying on his back, shirtless and asleep. I was on my stomach lying against him now, with my chin pressed against his chest. I stared at him trying to figure out how to break free. He had apparently put me there after I drifted off, and covered me with his shirt to keep us both warm. His arms were around me, and he was impossible to unlock in his sleep. He did this all the time. **_**Too bad its his fault I was exhausted, damn stubborn oaf blaming me for something I didn't do. He should try keeping it in his pants next time.**_** We had argued for about an hour and my throat was harsh from screaming at the pineapple. I managed to swivel my head around to see the clock on the wall. **_**3 o' clock… Greeeeat. I have no escape route and if Uta didn't KO, she is gonna kill me for being so late. We have to teach blade training tomorrow. **_

**I slowly started to try and wiggle free by scooching downward. **_**Maybe I can just slip out**_**. Renji began to squirm now, as I felt his arm reach down to the small of my back. He, almost effortlessly, hoisted me up to his level and swing me to his side pinning me against the pillows that lined the back of the couch. "Miku, why do you always have to writhe around so much in your sleep?" He mumbled, his eyes flickering but never opening.**

"**I wasn't asleep, I was trying to get to freedom," I said realizing my left leg was now trapped between his two. **_**Damnit! I am never gonna get out of here without throwing him on the ground. That is just gonna bring on another screaming match. **_**I sighed heavily and scratched my head with my one, and only free, appendage. My left arm. I plopped it heavily on his shoulder after and he opened one eye and glared at me, "Now why are you in such a rush to get out? You sleep here all the time." **

"**Because I have things I have to do tomorrow morning. Today actually. Uta will kill me when I get in. But she probably pulled a narc and passed out. Besides, I mostly sleep here by myself while you are finding random other beds to sleep in; and when I need to be free of female contact," I retorted glaring back at his one eye. I had a tendency to get annoyed with all forms of female after prolonged periods with them.**

"**I swear you should've been a man," he now opened both eyes as we stared at each other, close enough for any normal pair to be uncomfortable, "Maybe I would have had a better shot then." He smirked at me. **

**Completely unphased I continued to stare back, "Ha! You could never handle me." **

"**O ya!" I hit a nerve, **_**haha**_**, I always did when I said that, "Prove it."**

**I guess we weren't done bickering, "Pft. I shouldn't have to be the man and have to prove it, moron. You have the penis. That's suppose to be **_**your**_** job." I was just being an ass. We actually had this spat on a regular basis, but for some reason Renji was now looking at me through squinted eyes. **_**He's thinking. This may not be good**_**.**

**I was thinking this, but for some reason still unphased. **_**What's wrong with me? Why am I not getting up?**_** Just as this went through my head, his lips crashed into mine. I closed my eyes while his hand slid from my waist to my neck and tangled in my black locks, pulling us tightly together. I stretched my arm around his waist eliminating any other space that was left. He leaned his head, deepening the kiss and letting out a low moan. **_**WTH!!! Stop this! What am I DOING?! **_

**Space began to sneak back beneath us until I gently bit his bottom lip and pulled him back in closer. He smirked as our lips met again. **_**GAH! WTF! **_**We parted for air as his hands slid along my upper body slowly examining every square inch of skin underneath my shirt. I kissed slowly down his neck and the whisper of my name fell from his kiss swollen lips, "Miku…"**

"**Miku. Miku. Miku," they were getting more frequent and loud, "Miku. Miku! MIKU!" He was screaming at me, "MIKU!**" Wait? Why was I shaking.

I bolted upright breathing heavily, trying to gain my bearings. I was hot with sweat, my hair sticking to my head. I looked at the red head, shirtless, hair falling over his shoulders, holding my shoulders tightly with his two large hands, and eyebrows knit in concern, "Are you alright?"

I looked at my surroundings. I had been asleep in the same position I remember: lying with Renji and his shirt and arms around me. I was still half in his lap with the shirt fallen around me on the cushions, "Ya. Ya. I think so. Was I dreaming?" I still had no clue what the hell was going on.

"Ya you had to be," he dropped his hands to my waist now as I relaxed. I listened, feeling him stare at me, as I stared at the ground, "You were fine, then started to writhe around mumbling. It was like you were trying to wake yourself up." Good, I wasn't completely losing it. I needed to move, though. I got up and started searching for my shoes, "What's up? You can just stay here. I will sleep on the couch. Go take the bed." _Stop talking, I need air. I need my bed. _

"Sleeping with you on the couch isn't the problem," _Okay maybe it was_, "I wasn't even going to come today and I have blade training tomorrow with the rookies. That takes forever to set up and I don't feel like dealing with a sulking Uta because I am late or tired. It's already three in the morning." _Finally! _I found my shoes and pulled them on as Renji stood up and shrugged back into his shirt.

"I'll walk you home since you seem to have officially lost it," I don't question. I just try and make as casual of a beeline for the door as possible, "I won't even ask how you knew it was three without looking at the clock." _Crap._ He reached in front of me and opened the door. All the hairs stood up on my neck and my back went rigid as he pressed against me. _GOD! What is going on?!_

We walked in silence back to my house. I couldn't wrap my mind around that dream. That never happened before, and it was so real… Renji coughed as I walked up the stairs to the door and almost walked face first into it. I was completely lost in thought. "I think I got it from here. Thanks, Renji," I said confusedly as thoughts still raced through my head.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" I nodded as he walked closer. It wasn't bothering me as much now, because I had come to the decision that I may be the perv here. He put his hands on my shoulders again and leaned down to look me in the eye as I stared at my arm stretched to the side, not moving, "Miku? If there is something bothering you, you know you can tell me right?"

_Pft! Like hell I can tell you about this! I_ looked him in the eye now, turning the knob slowly. I was worrying him, I could tell, "I know. I just need sleep is all."

Renji hugged me and started to walk away, "Alright? I will see you tomorrow. Try and sleep, maybe it will help a little." He was half way down the street as I opened the door and bolted down the hallway and to my bed. I stripped my clothes off as I was moving and dove under my sheets, hoping sleep would take me quickly and rid me of these thoughts.

Too bad the dream came back. Too bad it was even worse the second time.


	5. Plague of Thoughts

Sweat covered me as I bolted upright from sleep once more. Only this time I was alone in my own bed. The dream had some back with a vengence and I had even less of a clue this time as to why. I shook my head as if to physically shake the images from my mind and peeled the sheets off of my body. Getting out of my bed all I could pray was that maybe the shower would help. I just couldn't fathom why these dreams were happening _now!_ Out of the blue like this why not all of those years ago when we first met? This made no sense to pop out of no where.

Well, this is all I seemed to be able to think of as cold water flowed over my body and down the drain. So much for clearing my mind. I pressed my head against the tiled wall letting the water roll off my body trying to get the image of my best friend and me wrapped around each other to at least loosen its hold on my brain. I glanced down at the familiar crescent moon tattoo that took up most of the space on my abdomen and wrapped around my belly button, and noticed my wounded leg. The tear was jagged and ran along the outside of my calf from the base of my knee almost to the top of my ankle. Renji had done a nice job at stitching it back up. It almost looked like an actual leg. It was true, I never really took care of myself like I should. Let alone give myself time to heal properly.

"This shower was pointless," I said to myself outloud, turning off the and pulling on my robe. I rubbed my long mop of hair in a towel, blinding me as I carefully walked to my room again.

"Well, they usually don't if you just stand there," the pineapple himself was sitting on my made bed with his legs folded in front of him, smirking as usual.

"Gah!" I screamed falling back into the wall. I quickly gained my composure, blew the hair out of my eyes, and stood up agin, "What the hell is wrong with you?! Ever heard of knocking?" I snapped as I walked to my closet. He did this all the time, but it was bothering me so much today due to recent events. I laughed, "Thank God I put on my robe today."

He lowered his raised eyebrow and chuckled, "I was banking that you wouldn't today, darn." This was a normal response and he added, "And don't you ever make this bed yourself." I just smiled and shook my head, picking out a fresh shihakusho and walking back to the bathroom. Renji stretched and sprawled out on my bed.

I closed the door behind me, "Nope, that's why I have you." I heard a laugh as the door clicked, "So what brings you to my bed this morning." Wow, this was just getting more ridiculous as time went on.

I listened while taking off my robe and pulling on the other, "Well, Captain wants Newbie to get rolling with some training today. So I have to personally take her to Akako. Think she will rip her to shreds?"

"Well, I would watch her," I opened the door and picked out my red sash out of the pile of old cloth, "Something's up. She hasn't been in the best of moods lately. And its not 'cause of the obvious anger you put her through. Remember that's how this wound happened?" I pointed at my leg after tying my sash around my waist, "So I wouldn't bank on her knowing when to stop. When she is like this, she just loves the thrill of the fight. It's a good thing I am the same way."

I was back in the bathroom now, brushing my hair into it's normal wave when Renji leaned against the doorframe and stared at me, "Ya, that's why she has a matching battle wound on her ribcage, let's not forget. Not to mention you both do it to yourselves," he chuckled. The two of us had been sparring for the hell of it when we had given each other these attractive body accessories. We had been doing this to each other since our academy days, "And isn't Newbie supposed to be _amazing_ at fighting?"

I finished and put the brush down on the counter. Turning to look at Renji, we both moved towards the door to the hallway. "Ya, but that was in the academy. Fighting with Akako is a whoooole 'nother ball game. And you know how she gets in these moods, but that would be partly your fault anyway. Soooo…" I finished leading the way into the kitchen. Renji passed me and walked to the teapot, acting like he didn't hear me. Him and Akako were like a bomb waiting to go off. My two friends dating never bothered me I guess, but odd it was. Too bad it was my other best friend that Renji was caught with, ending things for good. But Renji's man whore ways were enough to set anyone off. Let alone my hot blooded Akako. They were much funnier to be around now, though. She knew just how to press buttons, especially when he was asking for it.

As he handed me a mug walking to the table himself, I passed the fridge and noticed a note. I pulled it down, it was from Uta:

_Byakuya needs me to go to see Hitsugaya-Taicho with him since you were still sleeping and I guess Idiot is busy. I think we were right. Rangiku must intimidate the Captain hahaha. I left tea for you. Meet you at the training field to set up. See you!_

I laughed to myself, finishing my tea. I sighed, "I guess Sayuri is still asleep," Renji nods, he found something to read. I picked up hinoeuma and placed him safely in my sash, "I am off to the academy. Uta will be pissed if I'm late."

I make my way to the door and Renji looks up, "She still hates starting alone, huh?" I nod and keep walking to the door, "Hey, will I see you tonight?"

I freeze. He is my best friend, I shouldn't let a stupid dream make me uncomfortable around him like this. I ease up a little, even though my mind is screaming that it was more than one dream, and say over my shoulder, edging out of the door, "Be at the tree ASAP. Try not to let the newbie get killed, 'kay?" I didn't wait for a response, it would probably be some smart ass comment anyway. I needed this walk to clear my head. More importantly I needed caffeine. Akako's here I come.


	6. Hinoeuma I Need You

I padded down the old familiar path, meditating on the sound of my feet. If I can't get these thoughts out of my head, I will just ignore them. The problem: I can only meditate for so long before I fall asleep again. Then the thoughts might come back. I had completely lost where I was when I came to a barrier, almost running into it head first. I know I am in the right spot, but what the hell is this wall doing here? I was utterly positive I hadn't taken a wrong turn, I knew where I was. But then what the hell happened that we are barricaded out? Crap! Where is Akako? Did she blow something up?! I will kill her if she blew something up!

My thoughts drowned out rationality as I started to follow the length of the barrier, trying to find some sort of explanation. Wait, the whole block is surrounded? Shit, that can't be good. I quickened my pace, and since I had almost ran into two solid walls in the past 24 hours, I completely hadn't seen Ikkaku until I basically ran him over.

"Ow! What the fuck, Mikazuki?! What's the rush?" he asked as we grabbed each other for balance.

We were standing on our feet when I began to straighten out his shihakusho and asked, "Hey, what the hell happened to the block?"

Ikkaku just watched as I straightened him back out, seeming to have forgotten I almost bulldozed him over, "Captain Zaraki finally found some fun last night. He demolished the entire block. Everything has to be rebuilt."

Phew, then Akako didn't blow a lid. She wouldn't be battling Zaraki-Taicho. But now where the hell was she. Now that I knew she was safe at least, the more important thing on my mind. I HAVE NO CAFFEINE! The only other source of caffeine this early was Rangiku. And there was noooooo way I was going to her. I might get spike coffee. And lead fingered children with blades were not good to be around with a preoccupied mind and a buzz. Wow, this day just keeps getting better, and it's no where near noon. My mood dropped almost instantly, "Thanks Ikkaku. I have to get to the training field now. Shit to be done." I made no smile and turned to leave.

"Hey, are you alright? You're acting awful odd," greeeeeeeeat, now people I didn't see on a regular basis thought I was losing it.

"Ya, I'm fine. Just need to find Akako," I said making my exit. I would need to get out some serious aggression by the end of the day, I could tell already. Akako will be the only one I won't kill.

I mumbled thousands of different complaints and obscenities as I walked down the hall of the weapons housing. People just moved out of the way and stared at me cautiously. I had been in moods similar to this before, they knew to get out of the way and stay quiet. I reached the end of the hall and kicked in the storage room door, I was to angry to use a doorknob right now, and stock piled about two dozen blades in a basket, grabbed the strap used to attach it to my back, and slung it over my shoulder with ease. Reaching the proper training field, after lugging those idiotic twigs that were supposed to be blades up a forty five degree hill, I let the basket slump off of my back and plop on the ground. I was an hour early and Uta would see the blades missing and grab the body padding, in other words I had nothing to do. I sighed and pulled Hinoeuma out of my sash and laid him in my lap. I hadn't actually seen my zanpackto since we fought with Akako months ago. He always seemed to be the wisdom I lacked, so I relocated to a tree and sat in the shade with my long blade in my lap. I closed my eyes and let my mind take me.

**Hinoeuma, how have you been?**

The black horse laid next to me with its legs curled beneath him. His mane and tail of bright red fire flickered here and there as he turned to stare at me with matching ruby eyes.

_I have been waiting, Mikazuki. It's difficult not having a say in things that I must go along with._

I had neglected to take note of Hinoeuma with everything I had been assigned to do. That would change, as I sensed I would probably need this other part of myself more than ever.

**I am sorry, but I have not done anything so interesting with the times since we last talked.**

_Then why has my mind been so troubled for a far greater time than the last few days._

**Thoughts from the past. I'd rather forget, than acknowledge the scenes that have been plaguing us. I haven't been able to make them stop either way. I don't know what to do anymore.**

_Why is it so bad to listen to what your mind is trying to tell you? You need to reconcile with this grief, you can't just leave it in the past with your body._

**I can try my damnedest to. I have run from it for a long time now. **

_Yes, and now it has caught up with us. I fear that you will break down soon. I will not be able to help. We are just lucky you have such close friends that care for us. You should share this with them. It may help._

**Things have become…confusing, as of late. On top of it all, there is so much drama with everyone, I don't feel it would be right to burden them with my issues I should be able to deal with.**

_Do they not ask you for condolences to their problems? I seem to remember quite a few dealings where we have talked people down and been the shoulder to cry on. Don't worry I remember the dreams as well. And even so, do you not think they would put their issues aside to come to our aide?_

**No, I believe they would. But this isn't something that requires real aide. I don't need saving.**

_You, my dear, are the type that needs saving from themselves every once in a while._

**What happened to the 'we' here?**

_You are alone in that aspect, love._

Pft, now _**I **_even thought I was trying to catch the crazy train. Today just keeps getting better.

_Besides, these feelings have been put at bay for quite some time now. _

**I think we have beat this issue to death, Hinoeuma. I will try and deal with my past, but on my own terms for now.**

_I am talking about the pineapple. _

**Why do we have to talk about this?**

_Isn't this why you woke me? I have not seen true space until this happened. The dreams that is. And I stick to what I said. This has been long in the making._

**This may have helped me to realize I needed you, but is not the only reason. And I don't understand what you mean. I have never really been attracted to Renji before. I am so confused about this, the dreams are just like a plague on my mind.**

_I don't mean attraction. You have always cared for the hot head. I think with the recent issues between him and Kiyohime's mistress have set your mind to provoking what you have been ignoring. He has always been there for you. _

**Ya, and he has also been there for anyone else with a vagina. These feelings you are talking about have not been there. And I could never hurt Akako. She is probably the one who understands me the best of my friends. I still feel like I should beat that idiot for what he did. **

_Maybe, he needs that. And he has always cared for you like no one else he knows. Not even that Rukia. Your like his second half, as Zabimaru put it once. I am also saying that you can make yourself believe what you want, like that you have never had these feelings. But I understand, even though she is cruel, I like Kiyohime and wish no quarrel._

**Have I ever told you how creepy I think it is that you guys all 'talk'? Its just weird. And I don't care what you say, there is still a WE in this situation. You are, after all, a part of me.**

_But I am more level headed than you. This part is only the you. And you have to deal with that. I will be here to help as always. I don't like being troubled like this anymore than you do. _

**I know, and I apologize for that again. I should go now. Uta will be here soon. I promise to not neglect you anymore.**

The stud lifted his muzzle to my forehead and I leaned against it, letting the hot mane of fire lap around me without burning. _I will be here for you, my dear. We are in this together._

I opened my eyes and gained consciousness as I saw little Uta popping up the hill, hauling a wagon full of body padding. She must have news to tell. I sighed and stood up, rushing to help.


	7. Pride is Foolish

I loved Uta for the simple fact that she could ease my mind for dive minutes when it seemed like I would never get five seconds of peace. She told me of the mornings events while we layyed out padding and sickeningly thin blades for the students. I laughed harder than I thought possible as she described the looks of the Captain as Rangiku attempted to make a move. "That face of stone dropped in shock like a slapped five year old, I DIED!" she laughed. I could picture the face drop like a pound of lead due to the shock and couldn't contain laughter anymore. As the line of students walked up the hill, we wiped tears from our eyes and took our sensei stances.

After the formal introduction to their next step in training, which made their faces light in pride, I demonstrated basic defense and attacks as Uta lectured about when and why you use them. Each of them set off to secure their pads and begin to feel the use of a blade for the first time, breaking into pairs to practice what we just taught. Uta and I walked around from pair to pair and corrected as I told her of Sayuri's plans for the day. Oddly enough, I was in a pretty good mood and thought I was not going to need to release any aggression at the end of the day when one of the students started to battle with skill against his opponent. Kasai was a black spiky haired young man that was about 6'2" and had the most piercing green eyes. He reminded me very much of Ichigo in appearance. I had a soft spot for him, since his past was similar to mine. We both had lived in a gang to survive after our families fell apart. We had to learn to fight in order to stay alive. This was why I had skipped my first year. This was why he had as well.

Thank God his opponent was as advanced as his year would allow, Kasai was attacking for the thrill of it and almost took off the muscular blonde's hand. I laughed and strolled over with my arms crossed against my chest, "Kasai, your going to pick a fight you can't win someday if you don't learn to crawl before you walk." I knew that he had skill with a blade, the same way I had, and I wasn't picking at him to amuse myself. He would eventually reach his limits in battle, and he would get himself in trouble. He needed to learn properly and leave his pride in his bed in the morning.

"I don't think I will have to worry about that, learning from you, sensei. You will not let me down," he said with that wolf tooth grin of his.

I chuckled shaking my head, not a good day to get cocky with me, 'If you continue to think with your balls in battle. They will get cut down. You may have gained the upper ground. But you made some very serious mistakes," I said lowering my head to his opponent, asking for the blade without words. I could never use Hinoeuma to battle with these children. He would rip them to shreds without thinking. The blonde haired young man handed me the blade, bowing and retreating to safety. I released my blade from its sash and Uta took it with a giggle and moved back to the side of the young man whose twig of steel I was now holding.

The students formed a circle around us, sensing what was happening. Uta began to inform them on what I would be doing. I laughed again at the ease of the knife in my hand. After handling Hinoeuma for so long, this blade was nothing more than a steak knife in my hand compared to my 8 ft blade. "Okay, Kasai," I stood hip cocked, completely un-intimidated, "You will attack first and I will show you what you are doing wrong." He smirked again and bowed.

The black haired boy quickly closed the large gap between us and spun trying to land a blow in my left side. I turned and blocked the knife with my own, his movement had left him open for attack along his torso. I planted my left foot and leaned against the blow of his blade and kneed him slightly in the chest. The boy lost balance and fell in the dirt. Wide eyed, he shook his head and stood back up. "Again," I simply said, turning to him again. We did this repeatedly until the rush of adrenaline began to hit me as the gap between his fails closed and he became frustrated. I repeatedly shut him down. And as the fire began to burn in my eyes, he closed in with all of his might. _This is too easy_, I thought and went for the kill without thinking.

"Mikuzuki! There is a message for you from the Captain!" Uta bellowed. She had to have sensed what was going on, because the messenger hadn't reached the bottom of the hill and began to climb. She had no idea if the message was for me, she was just bringing me back to reality. I turned as Kasai attacked and moved without effort to safety. I grabbed both of his wrists and placed him in front of me with ease. He was obviously shocked at how easily I had positioned him from attack and froze where I set him with wide eyes.

"Don't let your pride get the best of you," I whispered to him and turned to the group to yell, "Okay show's over! Back to practicing your hand to hand combat! Place your weapons and padding next to the benches and do it quickly!" They all did as they were told with little haste, except for Kasai that was still processing the blow to his manhood. I walked quickly over to Uta and resheathed Hinoeuma. "Thanks, I needed that snap back," I said straightening myself out as the messenger came to the top of the hill panting.

He came closer and snapped to attention, "Captain Kuchiki wishes for me to give you this," he handed a neatly folded note with my name on it, "And requests that you make haste to the hospital wing in the 4th division. He wishes to speak with you in person." I sighed as he ran away and looked down to the note:

_Things went wrong today._

_Akako could not contain herself. _

_Sayuri is hurt._

_I need you immediately_

I sighed in anger this time and told Uta what the not said, and that I would probably not see her till tonight or even the morning. She nodded and watched me as I left. She could handle hand to hand training on her own without issues. She yelled at my back, "But Miku!" I paused and turned, "Are you sure your alright?"

I nodded, "Yes, rough night I guess. Not a problem. See you!" _That was a lie…You should have told her. _I heard Hinoeuma sing in my mind and ignored him as I turned again and made haste.


	8. Pure Rage

He had to have pissed her off. He couldn't just keep his idiot mouth shut! I swear if he is still in one piece, I am going to kill him. He had been the one to hurt her and now poor Sayuri was hurt, possibly seriously because of him. I asked him one thing. ONE THING! Make sure the newbie doesn't get killed. He couldn't even do that! I was going to rip his cocky asshole pride from his chest! I was going to beat him to a pineapple pulp! GAH!

I was fuming as I walked into the hospital building of the fourth division. So much for my good mood. I was storming down the main hallway as Hanataro came bouncing up to me. He was always gleefully oblivious to my mood, unlike all the others who made a point to get out of the way. Hanataro proceeded to bounce in front of me, leading the way. At least I hope he was leading the way, the rage I was experiencing was keeping my mind in silence. I couldn't hear one of his energetic words. I think my hearing had shut down to keep the fury at bay. If I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't explode I suppose. Hanataro's glee dropped as we reached the intensive care unit. Sayuri must be here. He drooped as we reached one of the roomed windows and I paused to look in. I didn't even notice Hanataro leave. I was too focused on the room on the other side of the glass. There was red haired Sayuri lying asleep and attached to too many monitors to count. The worry I had for the girl I barely new was surprising. I was frozen in my place outside the window and had just noticed Akako's presence in the room I was staring at, when she turned around and looked at me through the window. She looked at me with eyes full of despair, she must be so hurt was all I could think. Even from the moment I had found out that Sayuri was here after their battle, I had never blamed Akako. I would kill that red headed pineapple. So help me to God.

I raised a hand in peace and bowed my head slightly, she returned the bow and turned back to Sayuri after we stared at each other for a long second. This was all that was needed to know I wasn't angry. As I stared at the bed my newest comrade was incapacitated in, I felt the soul pressure that was so familiar to me, come closer. Captain Kuchiki came behind me and placed a hand on my right shoulder. We sat in silence for a moment before I remembered that he had sent for me, "You needed me, Captain?" My eyes were still plastered on the scene.

He sighed heavily and dropped his hand, "She is in a coma. Unohana says she will be awake in the next couple of days at the latest," my fist clenched as I cursed Renji for the umpteenth time, "She will need to be taken care of for the next couple of weeks," great, now I will have to be nurse maid on top of everything. I am gonna murder him, "I would like you to go to my home and make sure the preparations for her arrival are running smoothly. I can tell servants what to do, but can not know for sure if they will do it. You will do this for me?"

I was stunned and had taken my eyes off of the room for the first time and turned to my captain with a confused look. He blushed and I knew that I had heard it correctly. **He **would be taking care of her. I managed to get my tongue to function, "Yes…Yes, Captain. I'm sorry." I could now feel the moron walking down the hall. His cocky soul pressure drawing near and my mood became uncontrollable. Byakuya obviously noticed the difference and dropped his shaking head, "Thank you, Mikazuki. I know you understand why I can't allow the lieutenant to do this, among other things," ya, that was my fault you had an idiot for a second in command. I was better of a friend than that idiot ever knew and he continued to act like an asshole. "And I trust you will contain yourself properly?" it was more of a question from my superior as he reached for the door knob.

I could feel the imbecile almost on top of me now, "Yes, Captain. I will be at your home to report when you arrive." I would contain myself because I could see my Captain was in pain, and he didn't need to be pulling me off of his lieutenant. He would be the only other one who would dare, other than Akako, and I highly doubted that she would stop me this time. My cells burned with anger as Renji came and stood next to my right side where the Captain had been. I refused to look at him and stared in the room again. Only now my captain was sitting by the bed with the most depressed look on his face I had seen in ages. My heart ached for him, I knew his pain.

"She's pretty beat up, huh?" Renji scoffed staring in the room with me. I clenched my hand, very near to drawing blood, and kept my mouth shut through a clenched jaw. I needed out now. Until another hand touched my left shoulder.

I turned to look and the familiar 69 tattoo was standing at my side. He stared in the room as I looked up to him, knowing he was there for Akako, while Renji gawked like a moron. He finally spoke, his hand still on my shoulder, "She should be awake soon, Unohana is sure of it. Akako is confused about this, isn't she?" Shuuhei finally looked down at me in question.

I nodded, "She is more angry that she couldn't control herself than anything." He nodded and glanced back in the room where Akako was sulking and Byakuya had fallen asleep. Shuuhei squeezed my shoulder in reassurance and walked past the buffoon to the door. Never greeting him other than a small mention of his name before the door clicked.

"Doesn't look like she took so long to recover," Renji said out of the side of his mouth. This was all his fault and he couldn't even see that! How could he be so oblivious! My hand was bleeding now, I had clenched it so tightly. _It is not worth it, love. We will just regret it. _**How can you say that! This is HIS FAULT! I should tear him to pieces!** _I am not saying this isn't his fault, and I can't wait to let into zabimaru; just as you do. But NOW is not the time. You have more pressing matters. Get out before we regret it. _

I listened to Hinoeuma and turned quickly, making a beeline for the door. Blood trailed along behind me as the gash I had put in my palm let loose. I heard the asshole's calls after me, but quickened my pace and sighed with relief as the sunshine poured on my face. I was headed to do what was asked of me, extremely proud I had controlled myself…For now. _Good, love. Let's go play house wife and then we will have some fun with the imbeciles. When the time is right, we will teach them some manners in how to treat women. And maybe just manners in general. That is… if they can still breath. _Hinoeuma was just as infuriated as me, and he was the rational part of myself. I could hear him chuckle in anticipation. Renji was in for it and he had no idea.


	9. Love Guru to Ease a Mind

Swallowing anger was far too difficult for me. I felt like I was about to choke the entire way to the sixth division and the captain's home. I tried to concentrate on the pain in my palm as I walked, but it didn't help. I flung the door open to the lavish home, with possibly a little too much force, causing everyone in the room to turn and look at me in shock. I entered and sighed, making sure I hadn't damaged anything with the door and closed it carefully.

A small silver haired man with a suit walked over to me quickly with a sheet of paper, "Ohayo, Mikazuki-san. This is the list of the master's orders." He handed me the paper and I scanned it quickly, Byakuya meant business today, there was a lot to be done. I quickly dealt orders to the group of servants that were now circling us and went to check on progress with the small man close behind. He was the head servant and had known me since the captain had enlisted us. I felt no pressure with the man in tow, but aggravation none the less.

I convinced myself that this was his job and I needed to calm myself as I handed the list back to the man, "Looks good, Tsuteru-san. If I know our captain he has something he wants me to attend to. Is there anything else for me?" I asked. There was a reason I was asked to come, Tsuteru could handle this and I wasn't really needed.

The man fished inside of his inner suit pocket as I looked around and saw the curtains being drawn and light being let in. No doubt this was the first time they had been open in ages. There was dust lingering on everything in the main rooms the captain never used. "The entire room in all of these areas," I pointed to various doorways, "Need to be dusted. Order them to wear masks, I do not need a sneezing brigade of germs infesting the house. The captain is miserable enough without a cold."

"Yes, ma'am," he bowed and offered me a sealed envelop with my name on it again. **I knew it**. I watched the man leave and opened the note when I was alone in the kitchen that was spotlessly clean.

_I am not sure how to ask this, but I was hoping you could straighten my living quarters. I do not trust many to go in my personal area and I need a favor of you. I do not know if the way I have things is pleasing for a female. Change things as you see fit._

_Thank you, Mikazuki._

Goddamnit! Was all I could think. The captain is having me help him mack it with the newbie! I put my face in my hands and shook my head in disbelief, leaning on the counter. How did I get myself in these situations. I sighed deeply and made the trudge up the stairs to figure out where the bedroom was. I found a door, the only door that was shut, and turned the knob. Guess it wasn't rocket science, this had to be it. I walked into the room and giggled. I never would have expected a canopied bed for the captain and shrugged my shoulders. I went to fold the piece of paper in my hand and put it in my pocket, but was interrupted by a sharp stabbing pain. I had completely forgotten the wound and looked to see if there was an adjoining bathroom. Of course there was.

I dug around for about ten minutes to find a goddamn length of bandage and came up victorious. Okay back to work. I stood in the doorway to the bedroom and took in the surroundings. I saw what he meant. Everything seemed there simply because it had to be. The bed was in a dark corner and all of the furniture was cluttered against one wall leaving a ton of empty space. This wasn't a home, this was simply a place to sleep. I sighed in disbelief again, I really don't understand how I do this to myself. I then began to throw all of the old uniforms into a mahogany hamper that seemed to be worth more than my half of my belongings put together, and went to the curtains. I opened the curtains to be bombarded with dust and flung the windows open as I gagged trying to bring clean air back to my lungs. I gasped as I hung out of the window, thankful for the clean air once more. I propped myself up to see a crowd staring at me hanging out of my superior's bedroom window. Great, this is going to cause a rumor or two. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.

Shaking my head I began my job by taking the curtains down and shaking them out of the window as not asphyxiate myself again. Hanging them back up, I turned my attention back to the rest of the room and set in to work. Which took me much longer than I expected. It was dark as I turned to look at the product of my labor. The bed was now on the east wall, the furniture spread out, clothes neatly put away, everything shined and there was a vase of lilies set next to the bed. I was proud of myself and gloating inwardly when the door opened behind me. The captain walked in behind me and shut the door. I contained my smirk as he looked at the surroundings.

His eyebrows raised as he awed at my work. "Wow," was all that managed to come out at first and he shook his head gaining his composure, "This is great, Mikazuki. I sincerely thank you."

He never made eye contact, I could tell this was uncomfortable for him. I laughed, "No problem, Captain. I am pretty awesome. And this helped me clear my head today, anyway." I crossed my arms and relaxed.

He finally looked at me, "So you won't kill the moron."

Did I ever say how creepy it was he could almost read my mind. I walked over to Hinoeuma that was resting against the wall and placed him back where he belonged. He had kept getting in the way during the process, "Maybe not kill, but maim is more likely. He can't keep getting away with his shit." I had lost my worry about being appropriate in front of the captain a long time ago. I was well mannered in public, but he knew what I was like and didn't seem to care.

He laughed now and shook his head, "As long as the pieces can be put back together. I guess I will have a lieutenant still." We both turned and left the room, making our way to the front door while he told me of Sayuri's condition. She may be better sooner than we thought. I smiled with relief as we stood outside in the crisp night air. The captain turned to face me and squeezed my shoulder with his hand turning back towards the fourth division. I sighed, standing in the same spot and debated whether I should really go to the tree. I wasn't infuriated now, but I knew I would be once I got there. Especially when the asshole arrived. I am not sure what I would do, and I didn't want to actually kill my best friend. _We have to do this eventually, love. _

Hinoeuma was right, I turned and made my way to the hill I had walked up a thousand times. But for some reason it was a strange experience to me today. I felt nothing as I climbed the grassy knoll, no anger, no sadness, no…nothing. I sat at the base of the tree and pulled my blade in my lap. The black steed was next to me and staring at the stars with me in silence.

**Am I going crazy, Hinoeuma.**

_I think you are burning your candle at both ends. Maybe we need down time, love. Maybe we need a change._

**I was thinking that, but I can't imagine leaving with everything going on.**

_I think that is why we are so troubled. You need to worry about you and not the others._

He had a point. **I could ask to be assigned to the real world for a while. Maybe it would help me do some thinking on these memories that keep bothering me. That's more important than getting away from everyone else's drama. But that would probably be a plus.**

The horse laid his muzzle on my shoulder and I closed my eyes. _It is good you are thinking for your own good for once. _I had just become at ease when a familiar soul pressure cam into the vicinity. **Great, it's the idiot.**The anger came flooding back as he neared and I focused my gaze at the stars and held tightly to the bandage in my palm. The horse lifted his head and stared to my left with disgust. His bold red eyes narrowed, _I can't stand the cocky attitude he gets when he causes issues. That Zabimaru is no different. If you are up for it, I still have some issues to work through. That is if you think we can restrain from murder in the heat of battle. I am not fond of those prison cells. _I laughed and ignored the pineapple as he walked into the clearing and came closer. **I will try, but make no promises. **_Understood, love. Let's have some fun. _A smile creeped across his equine lips as he fell into me again.

I stared at the stars, anger stirring in me again as I thought of the scene in Sayuri's room. Renji had not a care in the world as he sat next to me and leaned against the trunk of the tree with his arms folded behind his head. He didn't even care that he ruined two lives. Well, he had devastated Akako and gotten Sayuri maimed. It may work out better for the both of them in the end. But it infuriated me that he had no idea that he was the spark in this fire. He better keep his mouth shut or I may kill him. Even if he was my best friend, I can only deal with so much.

"So how is the newbie," he asked with closed eyes, relaxing against the tree. So much for keeping his mouth shut.


	10. Rage and Fire

"What do you care?" I scoffed never turning to look at Renji.

"What's that supposed to mean? I was just asking how Sayuri was doing," I could here the agitation rise in his voice.

I laughed, "If you were really sooo worried, you wouldn't have let her get shredded to pieces."

He was now completely turned towards me. I never turned to look at him. "I wasn't the one who put her in that room. My blade never left my hip. A certain little hot head, that you are sooooo fond of, was the one who did the slicing and dicing!" I turned towards him now, smirking as he always did, to soak in his aggravation. This was just too good to miss.

"**You** were fond of her not so long ago yourself, you asshole! And you're telling me that you didn't say one word, ONE WORD, to piss her off?!" I was heated with anger from my eyes to my toes. The rising annoyance in my so called best friend was fueling that fire, and I did nothing to stop it.

"I couldn't let her bad mouth me in front of..."

I instinctually cut him off, "That's what this was about! You couldn't let the girl you cheated on, like a five cent whore, talk bad about you?!" I fumed and stood up storming into the woods. If he didn't follow me, fine, then I would take my aggression out on the forest. If he did follow me, even better, we couldn't fight here. There was a chance that we would destroy buildings. Well, I would destroy something.

As I thought, he got up and followed. I knew he would. He couldn't let me slap his pride like that. "What does this make a damned difference to you?! I didn't do anything to you!" he was boiling and I was eating it up. Oh this is gonna be good, love.

"No! I asked you one thing, one goddamnedthing, don't let Sayuri get killed. And what do you do?! You provoke Akako! You know you hurt her, and you know how she gets! You just can't swallow your damned pride for five seconds!" We were moving deeper into the forest as I screamed over my shoulder. Never letting him have the satisfaction of looking him in the face.

This was making him more and more furious by the second. He had to chase me to win this arguement and I wouldn't even look at him. I could hear the bubbling rage in his voice, "If you were so damned worried, why didn't you make sure Akako wouldn't kill the newbie!?"

"1. I tried! But I couldn't find her! On top of your sluttish ass running around on her, her apartment block was destroyed thanks to Zaraki!" I had paused and turned around to scream into his face for this one. We came to the edge of a clearing as my voice grew louder, "And 2. THAT WASN'T MY FUCKING JOB! IT WAS YOURS! THAT BAND AROUND YOUR ARM ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING! IT'S NOT JUST TO PUT PEOPLE IN YOUR BED!!!" .

"Ya, that's right. The band around MY arm. Not yours!! A subordinate shouldn't talk to their superior that way!" there was the pompous attitude again.

That asshole knew how much that pissed me off. He was toying with me now. **Okay then, let's play**. I marched across the clearing, Hinoeuma screaming to get out. "Ya, and you never would have gotten that thing if it weren't for me! I was the one who got the three of us here! I gave up everything to keep us together and to get you that fucking band! I could've been much better off but I gave it all up. And you keep fucking everything up because you can't keep it in your pants!!" Hinoeuma was cackling menacingly inside my mind.

Renji rocked back on his heels and smirked. He knew he had finally hit a chord. I was never prepared for what he said next, "Ha, you should talk. You never would have gotten to the soul society if you had kept YOUR legs closed."

Hinoeuma became silent instantly. I froze. I was in utter shock. Only my best friend and the captain knew that I had been raped before I was killed. And just because I had called him on his shit, he was using this to hurt me. He knew it still plagued me to this day.

That was it. It was like wildfire. The rage exploded and I unsheathed my blade. _Let's kill him_. I positioned for attack. Nothing was holding me back anymore, "TAKE. IT. BACK." I screamed through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. I was so angry I could feel hot tears of rage pooling behind my eyes.

Renji pulled out Zabimaru and held the blade loosely in his hand. I swear I am going to take that smirk off his face. He rocked again and let out a laugh, "As if you could make me if you tried." _Oh, we can. And we will. _

My eyes narrowed and my body tensed into a cat like hunch as I ripped over the earth at a startling speed. I swung my blade and it came crashing down on steel as I ran renji into the ground. He flew backwards in the dust, just barely balanced on the balls of his feet. I stood there, hip cocked, grinning that same wolf tooth snarl I had seen on Kasai earlier, "You have one chance to take it back, or I will rip the tongue from your skull and strangle you with it."

He stood straight and gained a proper fighting stance. He was no longer smirking, "Why would I when it is true?" A pure fiery rage erupted in my eyes and Zabimaru appeared coiling around his coward of a master.

_We must intimidate him, love. He had to pull out his beloved snake so soon._ Hinoeuma cackled again as he appeared next to me, his mane and tail fire were engulfed in raging flames. **Keep the dinosaur preoccupied**, I said mentally as I pulled off the outer shirt of my shihakusho and laid it on the ground,** I want to rip him to pieces**. _Understood. _

Zabimaru hissed as the fiery black steed multiplied and formed a straight line of his copies on either side of me. I held my blade in my left hand now, parallel to my chest. Gripping the blade with my right, the steel began to melt. I could see Renji squint, haha a sign of fear. The melting metal wrapped around my right hand as it took proper form. My blade had become the familiar steel whip, some twenty feet in length, but that changed when it was needed. The glove of metal that was now my right arm felt almot sensual as I tensed and relaxed my muscles. Soon there was a herd of twenty fire engulfed horses, ten flanking either side of me. I never attacked first, but today was the exception. The blood thirst was eating at me. I closed the large gap between us with frightening speed. The herd matching my every step leaving trails of blue fire in our wake. Zabimaru roared and arched as he aimed directly for me with the whip of Renji's blade. Five horses sped before me and galloped directly for the snake's head. The collided with a sonic boom and the five horses exploded entirely into flames. The bony demon roared in agony as he became singed. God, the release of spiritual pressure was amazing.

I cracked the whip in the air in front of me with extreme force, knocking Renji's blow away with ease. I planted a foot in the ground and threw the weight into my right shoulder as I swung my clenched fist towards the coward's face. He barely pulled his linked blade in time to block my attack. We both flung backwards landing on our toes and hands to stay up, sliding back in dirt. I caught a glance of Hinoeuma charging in circles around me keeping the tail and body of the dinosaur from touching me, inflicting damage with every strike. He flew through the sky on streaks of fire, blinding Zabimaru and having too much fun in the process. God, this was almost too much fun.

I snarled again, taking off, fire and spiritual pressure flying out behind me cracking trees down in it's wake, "Take it back, whore!" Renji jumped into the air to evade the slicing of my whip and flung himself back down with all of his might. I grabbed the blade in my hand and clenched on to it above my head as I sunk into the ground. I heard something like my ribs or shoulder crack under the brute force, but there was too much adrenaline and blood thirst pumping through my veins to feel it. I knelt as the end of the linked blade wrapped around me and slit into my back. I crouched and launched myself into the air, hauling the blade with me, and Renji along with it. I swung and Renji flew into a cluster of trees that collapsed under the force of his body. I touched lightly to the ground as he pulled himself out of the rubble.

His shirt was ripped halfway off his body and blood dripped down his head and chest. He stood and discarded the remainder of his shirt, wiping a pool of blood away from his eyebrow. Our respective creatures had paused to come to our sides. Renji glades at me, "Or is this about the fact that you seem to be the only one who hasn't been in my bed?"

Hinoeuma's flames burst into angry life. Zabimaru roared in disdain, which seemed oddly like fear to me. I shook my head and laughed in disgust, "It's about the fact that you aren't man enough to admit your faults and flaws. You will never be a man. And you don't even have at chance, on a cold day in hell to, ever be half the man your beloved captain is."

Renji tensed and flew into the air, now I had hit a nerve haha, Zabimaru flew through the air at his side. Haha, got ya. Hinoeuma and his copies formed a wide circle around me and increased their speed to the point they were just a blur. Renji came crashing down screaming in anger and the blur of equines burst into a dome of flames holding Zabimaru at bay and leaving me his master. I held my forearm to his blade and knocked it aside simultaneously raising my whip to life. I swung and cut into the idiot's side as sweat and blood fell to the ground inside the dome of fire and flame. Renji rebounded and swung his blade towards my whip. The steel of my whip wrapped around the blade and binded tightly. Our weapons and bankais were of no use to us now and fists and feet flung towards our bodies. I couldn't feel anything as hits landed on my body. All I could sense was the cracking of bones as I kicked and punched with my free hand. I gained footing finally and planted an irony fist to his jaw. I heard the crack of it under the brute force as his knee collided with my spine forcefully. My whip had become loose and I swung it free as I flew over Renji's crumpled body and landed on my back in the dirt.

I sensed incredibly strong spiritual pressure coming towards us from beyond the remains of the forest, but I paid no attention. I stood with a hunched and broken body breathing through the pain of my broken ribs. Even the pain had a feeling of release to me now. I watched as Renji struggled to stand. He used his blade as a crutch to kneel as our zanpacktos seemed to vanish around us. He was bloody and ridden with dirt. I was too, but Renji was ten times worse. At least I was standing. He breathed heavily as he pulled himself to his feet. Swinging his hair out of his face, he looked me in the eye and smirked. I snarled, "Why would you say it, Renji? Just tell me why."

Renji snapped his jaw into place, still leaning on his blade, and chuckled with sarcasm, "Don't be ridiculous, Miku. You know I only speak the truth."

The hot tears let loose from my eyes involuntarily. Even in his weakest point he couldn't let go off that goddamned pride. I snapped as he tensed to attack. I was too quick for him though. My whip raised in the air and found it's landing point around Renji's neck. He fell to his knees again as I choked the breath from him. I was so full of hate and rage as my weapon locked and held tight that I didn't even notice the group of people that had entered our battlefield. "Take it back!!" I yelled.

In the next instant I felt Byakuya's spiritual pressure and my whip was sliced in half. I fell backwards because I had been leaning against the tension in my whip. My weapon recoiled and the iron left my arm. My blade was resting in my left hand again as I positioned myself to pounce on Renji again. Completely ignoring what had just happened. A hand grabbed my wrist and my blade collapsed to the ground as the pressure point was pressed strongly. I looked up to see my captain staring down at me. He held my wrist still as I turned to see both Shuuhei and Akako in front of Renji, blades drawn and faces ready to fight. "Try and touch her again, you asshole, and I will kill you of she doesn't," that was Akako's voice.

"Miku, what happened?" Uta was standing behind the captain. Worry filled her eyes as she looked at me, but she made no move towards me. The captain was probably holding her there with his presence, normally she would have been hauling me to the hospital already. I glanced across the clearing to see Histugaya-Taicho and Rangiku standing there. The captain had brought back up.

Renji stood up, using his blade as a crutch again. He looked at Akako, "This is between me and my friend you bitch. Now get out of my way!" Toshiro-San flew and tackled Renji to the ground. As Shuuhei struggled to hold Akako down, I flung myself at Renji, rage and hot tears blinding me. I managed to get my wrist free, but the captain grabbed me around the waist. I knew it was pointless, it took little effort for Byakuya to hold me back.

"That's enough!" Byakuya bellowed. The scene froze. Everyonestood there, frozen in mid action, for what seemed like an eternity. I was still being held by the waist above the ground when my head began to spin as the pain from my broken ribs finally hit me. I slumped against the captain as everyone gained composure, and he attempted to put me on my feet. "You two," the captain looked at Akako and Uta, "Take her and make sure she sees medical attention. You," this time he turned to Shuuhei, "make sure there is no arguing." Shuuhei nodded. I stood balancing against Uta who had come to my aid, but started to sway to the other direction as Akako filled in the empty space on my other side. The captain turned, seeing that I was safe, "I will take care of you." he glared at his lieutenant who had no strength to stand anymore, but sat in the dirt. Renji bowed his head in defeat as I was shuffled to the fourth division.

Sent from my iPod


	11. Over Occupied Hospital Room

I still have no idea how long I was floating in the darkness. All I knew for sure was that I seemed to be cradled in a vast, empty abyss, bathed in warmth. I was so relaxed it was incredible. I quickly realized though why this sensation seemed familiar, when light began to draw me out of my cave like safe haven. I suddenly heard bickering voices. I stayed absolutely still fearing the pain it would bring. **Oh fuck, what a great way to gain consciousness**. Everything in the room began to turn from bright blurs into shapes. I had figured out that the arguing voices were Akako and Uta. **Greeeeeat. **I turned my head slightly so the two, who seemed to be at the base of the bed, didn't notice. Shuuhei was sitting in a chair at my side and noticed my movement. "I thought you were supposed to keep the peace?" I whispered. The two were so intent on insulting one another, that had no clue of me being awake.

Shuuhei remained still, he had obviously figured my plan to remain incognito for the time being, and whispered back, "I have for the last 24 hours you have been under. They had an agreement to not talk while they were waiting for you, the whole I am her friend and you can fuck off fight happened before that. Then it came to a lull, that changed about an hour ago," he sighed, "Maybe you could help. I am getting a headache, and I think someone is going to lose a limb."

I turned my head slightly again to see the two of them inches away from the other's face, screaming with disgust. Shuuhei was right, this was headache inducing. **Okay, well, let's see how painful it is to move. Either way I have to shut them up.** "Can you both please go change your tampons and take some Midol!? You just woke me up from a drug induced sleep, for crying out loud!" I snapped, slowly attempting to sit up. It felt like thousands of daggers were shooting through my ribs as the sheets fell down my torso and I propped myself up on my hands. I had black baggy pants on, and my black sports bra on. I must have been changed into my jogging suit to help expose the proper areas. Last time they tried to put me in a hospital gown I threw a fit, I hated those things. So Uta always brought something for me.

The screaming stopped, but Shuuhei was quickly shoved backwards in his chair. I only heard the crash as the two fought to get to my side. And I mean literally, fought. Slaps and elbows were thrown as I saw Akako set herself to pounce on Uta. **Oh, Lord**, "ENOUGH!" I yelled, making myself cry out in pain. Breathing hurt, that didn't exactly tickle. They froze. Akako had her hands on the side of Uta's head and neck, holding her at a 45 degree angle. Uta had her knee in Akako's stomach, a hand at her neck and the free arm wrapped around Akako's waist to hold herself up. Shuuhei was laying on the ground in the upturned chair and began to bellow with laughter. I had to laugh too. It was like a cartoon with the two of them in this position gawking at me. I winced in pain.

Someone apparently heard the ruckus and told the squad master. Retsu Unohana walked in flanked by little Hanataro. We all knew we were caught as Hanataro smile sheepishly at us. I turned and dangled my legs off the bed, waiting for the reprimanding. Akako fully dropped Uta and snapped to attention. Uta popped back up quickly and straightened herself out. Shuuhei picked himself and the chair up and moved out of the way. "I told the two of you, you could only stay if you remained quiet," Retsu said in her disapproving mother tone, "Mikazuki is supposed to be resting for another half day." She moved fluidly to my side, pushing the two out of her way with her mere presence.

"Sorry, Captain Unohana," Uta piped like a mouse.

"We apologize for the disorder we caused," Akako said out of gritted teeth glaring at Uta. Uta mad a face at Akako behind the captain's back.

"Yes, well you can apologize to your friend who didn't have the proper amount of time to heal," she stated taking her hands gently and straightening me out with the least amount of pain. She looked at me, "You would have been almost fully healed. But there seems to be minor breaks and deep bruising still in your ribs. Your knee, where you severed a muscle, looks healed, as well as the old wound. But your shoulder is still bruised considerably." I glared at them this time. They both quickly turned to look into different corners of the room, avoiding my death stare. "Your captain wants me to report to him the instant you wake. So I will send word now," She turned to the pair, their eyes wide from the sudden attention, "And if I hear one more noise out of this room. I am throwing the both of you out into the street." That was the last thing she said as she left the room. Hanataro closed the door behind her.

I groaned looking down at the black and blue rib cage. My shoulder looked no better. **Buh, this is going to be a bitch to deal with till it heals**. Akako stood directly in front of me, forcing Uta out of the way, "So what the hell happened!?! The asshole looks like a bulldozed piñata!" She didn't seem to upset by this.

Uta nodded wondering the same thing. I giggled half heartedly, my ribs wouldn't allow it if I had wanted to laugh and harder, "So I take it he's still not awake yet?"

Shuuhei spoke from the corner, "No, he's supposed to be under for the next day or two. Depending on how well he takes to the treatment. You really fucked him up." Uta continued to nod.

"Don't avoid the question," Akako squinted at me.

I snorted, "Ok, I was pissed at him for obvious reason," I motioned at the two of them, "And he said something that wasn't exactly forgivable in my book. So I had to beat the smirk off of his face." Akako raised an eyebrow, still not sure of what exactly happened, but pleased all the same. She knew that was all she was getting for the moment. Uta was still slightly confused.

We must have sat there for a while, simply staring at one another because the next thing I knew, in came Captain Kuchiki. I sighed again. I wasn't really ready for the conversation that was about to ensue. He nodded to me and turned to Uta, "Will you wait for Mikazuki outside please. She will be released as soon as I give the okay." Uta slumped and walked out the door. She knew that these rooms were more or less sound proof. But she would figure out something. He turned to Akako, "You should really get some rest yourself. You haven't left here in three days, Akako." She breathed to contradict the captain when Shuuhei grabbed her by the elbow, toting her to the door.

She grabbed the doorframe and pulled herself free, snapping her head back to look at me. "I will talk to you soon, I swear," I gasped trying to find the easiest way to speak. She nodded and walked out on her own free will, only after she sent a quick glare at the captain. He laughed and shook his head. We both stared at the door and I gasped again, "So am I going to be punished for this one?"

After he had made sure the last of my room inhabitants had gotten a fair distance from the room, the captain sat down next to me. We sat in silence as I hunched, not daring to move, staring at my limp feet. He broke the silence, "You are very lucky to have such friends like that. They are very far and few between." I scoffed in disgust thinking of the pineapple and heard the captain sigh through my wince, he had ignored my question, "I don't suppose you would like to tell me what happened? I know that wasn't all about yesterday's precursor events." I straightened out painfully, hoping that I would get some pain meds soon, and shook my head silently. The captain reached out and turned my chin towards him. He stared me in the eye till I couldn't take it anymore and pulled away, tears welling in my eyes remembering what that asshole had said. "It was that painful?" I nodded choking the tears away. **I don't cry**. I told myself repeatedly. "Well, I suppose I can get it out of him when he wakes. I couldn't ask much before he passed out. He is in a very bad state. He will recover though." Why did I suddenly feel guilty at the mention of his pain? That asshole deserved it, yet I felt guilty. "He may have betrayed you, but he is still your friend. Your family. You will cross this water in time."

**How the hell did he always do that? **I had to get up, I had to do something. This whole conversation was doing nothing but confuse me. I popped lightly to my feet and began to weeble and wobble. Healing took a tool on a body, ironically. I never took account for that. The captain rose and placed both hands on my waist steadying me. I put my hands on his and tried to force my eyes to focus, and my head stop spinning. Once my legs were used to bearing my weight, he shifted to the front of me and looked me in the eye. I muttered, "My sweat shirt." Byakuya looked at me puzzled, I pointed lazily behind him, "My sweatshirt is on the dresser."

I was still so woozy I never noticed the three peeping toms through the slightly opened door. The captain had picked up my sweatshirt and helped me slide into it. It hung loosely on my shoulders as I swayed slightly. Byakuya picked his hands up to my face and held my attention, physically and mentally. Too bad the three bodies had come crashing into the room. I turned quickly which caused me to cry out in pain and slump against the captain. It was moments like these that caused those sick rumors. Everyone thought the only reason I was asked to do so much by the captain was because we were bed buddies. They had no idea how far away from the truth they were. He held me up as my mind tried to fathom who the other two underneath Uta were. **My life isn't nuts, nope not at all**. I thought rolling my eyes. The two uniformed bodies that Uta was yelling at and beating were Kasai and his best friend Dotoro. Byakuya stared down his nose at me, his eyes laughing, "Don't ask me," I shrugged still using him as a crutch.

"I couldn't stop them, Captain!" Uta yelled clonking Kasai in the head, "Sorry, Miku."

"That's a lie! You were peeping too!" Kasai snapped resulting in another lump on his head as Uta grinned at us. She turned quickly to death stare Kasai. "Sorry, Sensei," he muttered angrily.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" I huffed trying to use my own two feet instead of balancing on the captain.

"We heard you were injured yesterday, Sensei," said the blonde haired Dotoro who was sitting on the floor next to Kasai.

"And when class was cancelled today, we got worried," Kasai said looking like a puppy dog at me. Uta thought he had a crush on me, and this probably didn't help that.

"Well, you should probably apologize to the captain for your behavior," I looked up at Byakuya, "Although I am really pulling at straws since my head is still spinning."

"Sorry, Captain!" the two practically screamed and bowed their heads nearly to the floor.

He waved a hand at them, "Never mind. This is the Kasai the two of you told me about?" Uta and I had mentioned him for when recruitment time would come, "It is a pleasure. And now you can put yourself to good use." The captain nearly dragged me to the two that were getting off of their feet, "Help your Sensei," he motioned to Uta, "Make sure she gets home safely." Uta stood at my side and I placed a hand at her shoulder, otherwise I was generally okay to stand. I was too stubborn to accept the use of a wheelchair unless I had a broken leg.

"Captain, is there…" I started but he waved a hand at me.

"We will talk later, you need to rest. And I mean it. Tomorrow you are not allowed to do anything. If you break my orders I will have you tied down," I laughed, he wasn't helping the rumor situation. I could imagine what the boys would run back and tell. _She was falling all over him after he helped her get dressed, and then he said he was gonna tie her to the bed!_

"Yes, Captain," I said as we exchanged nods, "Kasai come here, I don't know how well I can walk. Dotoro grab Hinoeuma out of the corner." I gave orders even as I threatened to pass out.

I limped out, half dressed with my shirt still open, with my hand around Uta's shoulders and Kasai's arm around my waist to steady me. Dotoro fell behind us trying to fathom how to carry a blade the size of Hinoeuma, which amused me to no end actually. I won't lie, though. I felt a deep pang of despair as we walked by the next room and I looked through the small door window to see Renji lying their attached to monitors, still bloody. **Maybe I have gone crazy...**


	12. Flight or Fight

The next day, after leaving the fourth squad, I popped pain meds on a regular basis to keep myself asleep. I can't sit down and do nothing for an entire day, it drives me nuts. The next coherent memory I had was waking up to Uta poking me repeatedly, not wanting to disturb me, but demanding I come out of my coma. I also avoided Renji like the plague for the next couple of weeks, whenever I sensed him near, I hightailed it in the opposite direction. I was still lost in conflicting feelings of angst, guilt, and rage. I felt it would be best to see each other when I wasn't having such inner turmoil. I spent my nights hanging at Shuuhei's talking to Akako, drinking far too much sake than was acceptable with Rangiku, visiting Sayuri in the early hours of the evening, and training with Kasai. The only good thing that would come out of this, was if Kasai passed his final exams with flying colors, he could possibly skip another year at the academy. He already had the recommendations from Uta and I.

I hate being the invalid and that's all I was. I had taken up the position of lecturing at class, and Uta did the demonstrations. Uta could handle herself perfectly fine, but I despised being the cripple that has to watch and lean on her blade because of impending pain. In the long run it will help though. Well, that's what they tell me, this will be the first time I have ever actually listened to the rest and recover advice. Either way, it was slowly killing me to not be at my normal par.

I was walking one night through the streets of the seretei with Kasai after practice, talking about nothing intelligible at all. I usually ignored all of the thoughts in my head throughout the day, but this was when I could truly forget about everything, my past, Renji, and even those damned dreams of me and him that made my mind even more confused. I was laughing painfully with the younger man when I was suddenly ran into full force by a smaller man with long shaggy black hair. He was in our squad but new, and not very outspoken, so I didn't remember his name to bitch at him, so I just rubbed my rib cage in response after shoving him away. He stumbled back and gained his balance snapping to attention, "Arigatou, Tenshi-san!"

I made an ill tempered face and huffed, "Don't worry about it, and stop standing like I am gonna beat you if you don't treat me like your superior. It's annoying," The man slouched into a normal stance at that, "Now, what the hell was so important that you were barreling around like a bat out of hell?"

"Again, I am sorry for that Tenshi-san, but the Captain wanted me to find you before you went to your headquarters. There is a message for you he says is very important," we paused and stared at each other for a long second. I raised my eyebrow, asking the question without a word and he finally understood I wasn't going to ask I out loud out of sheer annoyance, "Kuchiki-Taicho says that there will be a meeting of the superior squad officers. He has given enough time to see if the problem would work itself out, and now you must deal with the consequence since it has not been mended. He does wish for you to be prepared for the encounter and that is why he sent this message. Your house mate will have the details of the meeting. And your request is being processed as we speak." I sighed in disgust this time. This was just great. Well, I had to see the idiot sooner or later, and the captain was right. I had had enough time to fix it myself. I'll just have to suck it up.

I turned to Kasai who was standing next to me with a pensive look on his face. He was no idiot and knew what was going on, or going to happen, he had a deep hatred for Renji, even though I told him to not bother, since he helped me home from my hospital bed. I went to say my departure when I realized the man still was standing there. I gave him a glare, "Are you done? Because that message didn't warrant a response to the Captain." Within half a second, he had vanished.

I turned back to Kasai when he cut me off, "Will you be alright, Miku?" I raised an eyebrow again and glared at the younger man. I had a soft spot for Kasai, but he was still my student and it was not okay for him to call me that. He knew that too and shook his head realizing the mistake, "Tenshi-Sensei. Sorry…"

I laughed, "It's okay, and I will be fine," I grabbed his shoulders and physically turned him around, "and there is not much you could do yet to fix it if I wouldn't be. So off to the dorms with yourself, I need to get home." He half turned to protest, and I quickly pushed him in the back as he laughed, "No balking, now go." He made no other attempts to fight and sulked off.

I headed for the safety of my bed, not that my thoughts would relent long enough for me to rest. But I had to try before the impending showdown.

I jolted awake from the image of Renji's naked body and my own tangled together, and shrieked at the sudden shot of pain that ran from my rib cage through my back. I panted from the mental exertion and ache, plopping back into my sheets. I just couldn't make sense of any of this. The last time I had seen him I was ready to kill him, literally five seconds from it. Now I want his body? I huffed in anger getting up out of my bed forcefully. I walked to the bathroom and began to splash cold water on my face. I clung onto the sink counter and stared at myself in the mirror trying to clear my thoughts when I heard a knock at my bathroom door.

I shrugged lower and twisted my head to the door. Uta was peering around the door frame with a nervous look. "Morning, Miku. I was coming to see if you were up. Are you okay?"

I laughed, I must look like death warmed over. Water dripping down my face, bags forming under my eyes from lack of restful sleep, no wonder she was almost scared to come in, "I am fine, Uta. Sorry. I didn't sleep well again."

She bounced into place in the doorway smiling, "Oh, okay. Well, you wash up and I will get your shihakusho ready." She half skipped away as I laughed in her stead.

I was almost as presentable as I normally was when we closed the door of the house behind us and made way for the meeting place. I dragged my feet as slowly as possible with Uta glancing at me out of the corner of her eye the whole way. She acted oblivious, even though I knew she wasn't, she would put on the façade to make me feel better. We reached the set of giant oak doors and noticed all of our subordinates flocking in. Uta and I shared a nervous glance, **Damn! We're late!**, and took off through the crowd. Being superior officers we were supposed to be earlier and in our commanding poses, before everyone else. The tow of use bopped around, trying to remain unseen, but the sheer feeling of annoyance in the Captain's reiatsu told is we were in for it now.

Renji was at the Captain's flank waiting with him for the rest of the squad to fill in. I popped into my place next to Renji, with Uta at my other side, and took on my authoritative stance. I could feel Renji's eyes on me as I stared dead ahead, meditating to hold back the weird feeling in the back of my stomach. Kuchiki-Taicho must have looked at us, I heard a long sigh come from the man as he began the normal procession of updates and duty rotations. I heard our names repeated here and there, but I was successfully blocking out everything but the tune in my head for about twenty minutes when I heard a hiss to my left. I shook my head, I hadn't really heard it but I knew it was from Renji. _Okay, keep your cool, love_. I heard Hinoeuma talk me down.

"What?" I whispered in his direction never changing my body language or face. We had to be leader figures now, no time for horseplay. But that never stopped us from talking in the past.

"I said: where have you been? It's like you fell of the face of the earth. Try and whack some body and then disappear. You sure that wasn't the mafia you were in?" I could hear the slight agitation in his voice. Yet, it seemed to be from having to repeat himself, not the fact I had tried to kill him.

I laughed at his comment almost audibly, but caught myself. The sexual innuendos I heard were too much for me to handle with lack of sleep, "No, I only fell off the face of _your_ little world." I broke my stance and cringed at my words, which I knew he could see. It's hard to turn the sarcastic bitch senses off, and this wasn't the time to be bickering, I was already on the captain's shit list today. I sighed, "I haven't been anywhere. You just haven't been able to find me apparently." I was lieing, but I didn't really care anymore.

Renji huffed, but I ignored it and began to meditate again. This meeting seemed to last for years, but eventually the captain must have said the departures because the crowd started to file out. I brought myself back to earth and bounced impatiently waiting for the okay to hightail it to higher ground. I had kept my cool for this long, I could do it for five more seconds.

The last line of people started to file out and Uta moved out of her position and towards the captain. I made way for the door. I didn't get very far when a hand grabbed my elbow and wrenched me around. My ribs sang with hurt and I yelped in pain, ripping my elbow from his grip. I was seconds away from turning back towards the door when he spoke, "You try and _kill_ me and don't even have the decency to talk to me when we are finally forced in a room together?" He had a look of anger and disbelief on his face that worsened with each word.

I guess it was the tone of his voice, but the sarcastic bitch snapped back into play. It was a good thing it was only the three of us and the captain left in the room. At least someone would be able to stop me, "_I don't have the decency?!_ You are the one who started this! I am supposed to be your best friend, but as soon as I say something to make you look in the mirror, you hit below the belt! You are lucky I didn't kill you! Because right now, you would be a lot less of a pain in the ass if you were six feet under!" I gritted my teeth as the old feeling of rage came back to life.

"Ya, well if there was something you wanted to say, you could have just said it without storming off, we wouldn't be like this if you hadn't gotten up and ran into the woods! What was I supposed to do, just let you stomp off and not know what the hell was going on?!" He was just as angry as me, both of us were inches from the other, teeth bared, arms flailing. The odd thing though was nothing was done to stop it.

"I stormed away so I wouldn't demolish you and the block of apartments we were near! And what difference does it make? You never seem to know what is going on around you anyway!" In a weird way, I was calming down. But I was still no where near calm.

He cocked his head and blew a puff of air out of his mouth between us. Renji was, form some reason, cooling off as well. He always did this when he was regaining composure. He sighed deeply, but I could hear the sarcasm in his vocal chords, "Oh ya, like I never knew why you _would have been so much better off_?" I had said that before I tried to rip his head off. I was confused now and my face obviously showed it. Renji tapped his lieutenant badge, "How you _gave up everything to get me this_? Well, I do now. Why didn't you tell me, Miku?"

I froze and turned to the captain. He met my gaze for a moment then lowered it to the ground. **He told him. He **_**promised**_** he would never tell him**. I was stunned and confused, my mind seemed to shut down. I shook my head and turned to leave, but was grabbed again by Renji. I growled and tore myself away from, wheeling around on my feet, "Would you stop doing that! I'm leaving!"

Apparently the growl wasn't enough of a warning. He reached for me again but I batted him away. Renji raised his hands in self defense, "I just want to fucking talk!? What is so damn hard about that?!"

"What if I don't want to talk? Don't you think that I would have found you three weeks ago if I wanted to see your face?" Renji growled in the back of his throat and took an angry step towards me, I arched myself to pounce. Too bad I was stopped by a yank at my collar that flung me back to my spot and held on tight. I was actually hovering directly above the ground by my neck. The captain had felt my emotions and finally decided to step in. I kicked at him and he dropped me on my feet. I would be lucky if I wasn't injured more severely for attempting to hit my superior, but I didn't give a damn right now. My superior had betrayed me. "There was no reason for you to tell him that! This had nothing to do with that night! You swore on everything good and holy that he would never have to know, and you _**told him**_!" I spat at my captain.

Kuchiki-Taicho had stepped in between us and stared simply at the ground. He knew he had wronged me and seemed to understand that pain I was feeling. Byakuya flipped the hair from his face, hands folded in his sleeves against his stomach, and turned to meet my gaze, "Yes, it had nothing to do with this situation. Yet, it was key for your closest friend," I cringed angrily at those words, "to know why you were so upset. One cannot understand the consequences, if he does not know the law, Mikazuki. You should give him the chance to speak." He ended it like that. That and nothing else.

**Gah!** I was done with this and all it had to do with today. I was leaving come hell or high water, but as soon as the thought crossed my mind, I was planted firmly on the ground. **Damn him, and his reiatsu of demons**. "This Confucius crap doesn't make up for the fact that you went back on your word. And I am not talking to anyone who holds me so useless in their thoughts." I glared at Renji around the captain, "If I am so distasteful I have no reason to be in their presence."

Renji cleared his throat to retort and the captain cut him off. Agitation rose in his voice, "I have had enough of this ignorance," he turned to look at us both momentarily, "from the both of you. I understand the feelings you must be witnessing, Tenshi. I will disregard your insubordinance this once, and only once. I have decided, with the help of Uta," I was going to kill her, "that you two will need to be forced together. I am putting you under strict orders to attend this party that Uta tells me about. If anyone some much as gets a scratch, you will be punished severely and receive no medical attention. If you don't attend," he raised an eyebrow at me, almost sensing my thought to bail, "you will face the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

Renji muttered, "Yes, sir."

"But, that is ridiculous. You can't…" I was cut off this time.

"I said only once, Mikazuki," meaning my insubordinance.

I shook my head, rephrasing, "I mean, Captain, it is unethica…"

"I also said do I make myself clear," He glared at me down his nose.

**Fuck, I am done for. **I sighed, giving up the fight, "Yes, Captain."


	13. Memory Loss

SO I promise the smut will be coming soon, but for now I need to apologize for the fluff in this chapter. It's not horrible, it may not even be bad, but I hate fluff (well extensive fluff) and fluff is definately here. It had to be done. Comments and Reviews are love! 3

I woke to the feeling of sun warming my face. Refusing to open my eyes, I begrudged the thought of waking up. I was utterly exhausted, but not hangover. The one good thing about having a high alcohol tolerance, no morning headaches. I shifted around feeling the sheets against my bare body, trying to remember anything from the night before. **Nope, nothing. Too bad a high tolerance doesn't prevent blackouts.**

I shifted again, hating the thought that I would eventually have to get dressed and actually do something. My body felt the satin sheets flow over my body while I tried to figure out when I had changed my sheets. My leg hit something warm, my leg hit another leg. **Oh, fuck…That's not my leg.** I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling praying that the scent my nostrils recognized, and the sight of the tiles above that my memory registered, was just the alcohol talking. My stomach flew into my throat out of anxiety.

I gulped and breathed one deep breath and held it as I slowly turned my head towards the now obvious body lying next to me. The sight of the naked inked body caused me to bolt upright and clap my hands to my mouth, suppressing a scream. **GAAAAAH! ADFGALSKIOEJM! **I couldn't think anything legible. My breath began to spaz and hitch. **Oh my god! I'm having a panic attack! **I had to get out of there, pronto.

I jumped out of the bed like a cat, not disturbing Renji, and grabbed my clothes bee lining for the bathroom door. I cranked the faucet in the shower and jumped underneath the scolding water. I was intent on scrubbing any trace of the night, that I didn't remember, off of my skin. I groaned regret as I leaned back against the ceramic covered wall. The only things I could remember of the night actually doesn't make a damned difference to what obviously had to have happened.

I had whined and threatened Uta for the remainder of the day and damned everyone within the reaches of my mind as we walked to Rangiku's. I walked in without a knock seeing that people had already been there for quite a while. Sayuri, who had been released from her hospital set up weeks ago, had obviously been pushing them back, as she was grooving a little too uncaringly to the beat that was coming from somewhere unknown. She was dancing circles around Akako and Shuuhei, who just continued to dance while laughing their asses off. I saw Renji sitting in a corner talking to Rukia and I rolled my eyes, snatching a full bottle of sake from Ikkaku's outstretched hand and threw back a gulp. I was talking to Rangiku, who was hilarious when smashed, when I was dragged to dance by a buzzed Ichigo. Then everything goes black from there for a while.

The next memory I had was that the Captain had shown up. Which shocked the hell out of all of us. Then later at some point in time, Akako and I were bouncing around trying to locate a bathroom and laughing our asses off at stupid crap like plants. We turned the corner to see the Captain in the opening of a doorway, clutching the door knob and fumbling to say something. We snuck up behind him as sneakily as two drunkards could manage, but the Captain was wasted far worse than us. We could here unintelligible, sex related moans coming from the room. Akako crouched down on all fours and crawled underneath the white captain's shawl and I knelt behind her and leaned on her back, the fabric draping over my head and down her sides. Ichigo and Renji were in the room, panting and covered in sweat. Renji was on all fours, buck naked, with an erect Ichigo thrusting into him erratically. They were so smashed, and moaning so loudly, that they never registered our presence.

The lot of us were in complete shock. I could hear Byakuya stuttered for words. I suddenly had to bite my lip to fight back a surge of giggles. Akako obviously felt the same way because she shook beneath me, fighting off the giggles.

"Gah…..gah….GAY!" was suddenly shrieked from Kuchiki-Taicho's throat and the pair whirled in utter shock at the sight of us. That was what set the two of us off. We collapsed on top of each other and laughed as tears of hilarity flowed freely down our faces. Byakuya slammed the door and stormed off spitting something about sticking it in his butt, or something of that nature. The very last thing I remember of the entire night was people flocking from the main room to the spot where Akako and I were still writhing around on the ground. Renji and Ichigo had drunkenly fumbled half of their clothing on and were pulling us to our feet. We struggled to stand and the two struggled to cover our mouths so we wouldn't start babbling their secret. I kept stuttering, "Gay!" between giggles fighting off Renji's hand as he pressed me to his body. Akako was laughing hysterically and trying to sarcastically say something about not knowing where that hand was, but tears were choking her voice, she simply swatted Ichigo's hand off like a bee. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sayuri seemed to be slipping from the room where everything had happened. Little yaoi perv must have been hiding in the closet. Tears continued to stream down my face in laughter, this was all too much.

**So why the fuck am I the one naked and in his bed?** I had figured out my lie, this would only work if he was as forgetful as me, but I would be ready to jump at it if he was.

I stepped out of the shower and searched through the closet to find the shihakusho I had left there ages ago. I finished drying myself off and slipped my robe on, taking the sash out of my old heap of clothes, and tossed them into a hamper in the corner. I grabbed the brush off the counter and walked into the bedroom again. There was no point in putting it off.

I ran the bristles through my thick hair and almost didn't notice Renji sitting up on the edge of the bed. The black satin sheet draped over his lap, his red hair fell limp and loose around his face and onto his bare chest. For some reason I would have been admiring the sight, if I wasn't appalled at the very sight of his chest. It was riddled entirely with black, blue, green, and yellow splotches. Bruises that still lingered on his body a month later. Even after medical attention. The wound was almost healed that ran from just above his belly button, up and along the right side of his rib cage. He was squinting his eyes harshly and rubbing his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger.

I sighed and snapped my fingers, sending a flurry of hot air in a whirlwind around me, picking my hair up and throwing it above my head. It dropped on my shoulders in its natural curl, dry and shining in the sun. This unnatural act had caught his attention. Renji strained his eyes open and said painfully, "I would say: good morning, beautiful. That's if I knew what the hell was going on."

Why was my heart beating like that? "I know about as much as you. All I do know was that _**I **_had my clothes on when I woke up," there was my lie. Let's see if he would take it.

He nodded his head, "Ya. That must've been a drunk haze dream then." **Oh, FUCK! Great, I am the new whore of Babylon!**

I huffed, "Well, then I guess that is my cue to leave." I turned and was set on getting out that door when I was grabbed by the arm. Renji stumbled as I turned back towards him. I grabbed a hold his side to steady him, he was holding the sheet in place to cover his lower half. I gingerly held at his side as to not hurt his wound while he threatened to tip over. Between our two efforts he planted himself on his feet.

His head must've been killing him, as he was still squinting to see. He leaned his left arm against the wall, next to my head and said, "How do you do that, I never figured the physics in it?"

"What?" I said flustered and confused as my hand continued to rest on Renji's rib cage.

"Touch wounds like that and they never hurt. I do that to you and you start yelling," he said as I noticed I was pretty much trapped.

**Must get out**, "What did you grab me for, Renji?" I pulled my hand from his side and stared him in the eye.

"I was going to say wait, but then I almost tipped over," I laughed once and continued to stare at him, silently telling him to hurry up and continue. "I know you hate me, and you have every right too," he continued to squint and I was frozen and baffled at the words that just came out of his mouth, "but, I have been thinking a lot while you have been avoiding me." I sighed and stared him annoyed-like in the eye, he knew my games, there was no point in protesting. "Please, can we just talk?"

"I have things to do, Renji." Meaning I am not sticking around an longer than I have to.

I folded my arms against my chest and made a movement to scooch under his arm. I was stopped and pinned worse as he brought his arm lower and leaned closer to me. He stared at me sadly, inches from my face, my breath hitched in my throat. "Please?" he was pleading. I nodded silently. **Wow, I was the worst person alive.** He asked, "So you will be at the tree?"

I looked over his shoulder out the window. The sun had disappeared and clouds were forming. "Looks like rain. Next option?" I asked lifelessly.

Renji pushed off of the wall and leaned back on his own two feet. I could breathe again. He cracked his neck from side to side and focused back down on me, "Then come here. Just promise you'll be here?" I nodded and turned to the door with my arms still folded against my chest, now staring at the ground. "Miku?" I turned my head, standing in the door frame. He was staring at me like that again, "Promise?"

"I promise," I sighed and turned, walking down the hallway.


	14. Dream to Fill a Memory

The satin sheets fell around our bodies as our lips crashed heavily together. I had my back pressed to the mattress, fingers entwined in his long red locks. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer as our bare skin caressed one another.

Renji bit my lower lip gently asking for entrance and I gave it to him. I could feel his erection growing against my hips as our tongues fought for dominance. We flipped positions as I ground my hips against his groin, our mouths never parting. I swallowed his moan as he began to grow with need beneath me. My fingers ran slowly down his chest, massaging the ripples of muscles and bone. He groaned gently kissing my lips once more as I slid down his neck and bit the are above his nipple playfully. My hand found his cock as my thumb massaged his head spreading the pre ejaculation delicately.

The red head began to breath quick, uneven breaths while my hand began to pump his shaft ever so softly but quickly. He bucked into my hand, letting out a groan as I bit his neck gently, smirking against his skin at the man's reaction. My fingers caressed the base of his member causing him to squirm and whine at the loss of attention. Renji grabbed a handful of my hair in his fist, bringing me back to him and kissing me passionately. "You're a tease," he whimpered against my lips.

I smirked again into another kiss, "Well what are you going to do about it?"

He laughed into my mouth, wrapping his arms around my waist once again, and throwing me to his side. Our bodies had little time to cool as he pounced back on top of me, his hips grinding slowly and harshly against mine. I laid heavily against the bed with my head thrown back to the pillows as he bit my neck hard. So hard I cried in pain, and then pleasure as his hand slid down my body and he licked the abused flesh on my neck. My skin trembled beneath his touch but I soon forgot that feeling when his fingers began to drive into my wet body. I bit my lip to hold in the moan as his fingers began to separate and scissor inside of me, his lips running up and down my neck. The pleasure was almost unbearable as my teeth sunk into my lip causing a drop of blood to trickle down the corner of my mouth.

I felt his fingers leave me as his tongue removed the blood from the edge of my lip and his tongue searched the inside of my mouth. We kissed harshly refusing to breath, when we did part for air, his face hovered above mine, "I want you now, Miku," his lips met my cheek softly, "More. Now."

I stretched upward so my lips grazed his sensually, "Then what are you waiting for?" I kissed him again and wrapped a leg around his waist, "Fuck me."

It took seconds for him to adjust and thrust his length gully into me. I gasped loudly in ecstasy as he began to move in and out of me. The pace he set was agonizingly slow. He was teaching me a lesson for being a tease, I knew it. Yet, I couldn't bear to move him. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek attempting to bring him down to me again. But, Renji had another idea. He slid his face backwards and he slid my thumb into his mouth. I ground my hips seeking for more as he sucked on my thumb, refusing to give me more than he already was. I slid my thumb out of his mouth and placed the forefinger in its place. After he began to give my finger the same treatment, I hooked his jaw and pulled him down to me, our lips massaged the others passionately as I sought my revenge. I leaned forward against him stretching my arm down his body. My hand quickly found his entrance and my thumb and forefinger slid into him painfully. He threw his head back in pleasure quickly as I nailed his prostate, and he bucked against me. His body arched above me panting as he continued his same pace, and I matched his thrusts inside of him, showing him the agony he was putting me through. We panted together, seeming to continue the battle of who would last the longer, for ever.

Renji finally caved, "Grrrr. Fuck it!" I pulled my digits from inside his tight ring of muscles as he began to shove inside of me faster and harder. I wrapped both legs around his waist and arched to better receive his full length. His cock almost left me entirely before jamming into me heavily with incredible force. We were a mess of panting, sweat, and moans as we tensed together. He crashed against me as hard as physically possible while I hooked his lip again and pulled him down to me. Our lips met as our bodies released their fluids of pleasure and we ground our hips together, riding out the climax. Our bodies collapsed together and our lips continued to tangle.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling I knew was my own. And sighed heavily letting my chest rise and fall. **So, I guess that's what happened last night**. I groaned angrily and sat up putting my head in my hands. My mind was still in a haze though, anything could have happened.

I could hear the rain fall against the window. It was like a melody that had put me asleep when I had reached home. Having no real duties today, and lying to Renji about that, I came home exhausted and found the comfort of my own bed. I hadn't looked for Uta, other than listening for soft snores that came out of her room as I walked by pulling of my clothes as I headed towards my room. I slid into my bed in my underwear, hugging the pillow for comfort. Uta had been passed out in her own bed, and was probably still there judging by the lack of noise coming from the house. We were alone again, as Sayuri had pretty much permanently moved into the Kuchiki manor. We kept her things her to encourage the last ounce of façade they had to the rest of the soul society.

I pulled my head from my grasp and glanced at the clock. I groaned again reading that the day had flown by while I was in my coma like slumber, and it was far past nightfall. I contemplated the idea of standing up my best friend, but decided he would probably just hunt me down, angrier than he already was. Whether I admitted it or not, I hated fighting with Renji. He and Uta were the only people that had always been at my side. And the idea of being at odds with him was hard to deal with. **God, when did I become so sappy?**

I shook my head to clear the thoughts from it, and found my shihakusho. I pulled on the lower half and removed my bandeau bra from my torso. I reached over my shoulder and began to peel the bandage tape away from the wound that ran from the base on the left side of my spine, to the front of my right shoulder. I was supposed to let it air so it would heal properly and now hadn't done it for three-ish days. I tied the sash tightly around my waist and reached down and found the straps of the upper half of my robe, fastening them behind my neck, feeling the cool air run across my back. I grabbed my over shirt and tossed it over a shoulder. It would come in handy for an umbrella seeing as there wasn't one in the house.

I held the doorknob in my hand and glanced over my shoulder to my unmade bed. I could hear the echo of my voice talking to Renji in the back of my mind, "_That's why I have you…"_ I sighed, wishing I could just get back in my bed and pretend _this all_ was just a dream. I shook my head of thoughts again and turned down the hall, making my way to Renji's.


	15. Speaking Terms

I threw my yukata-like over shirt above my head and walked into the rain. I had always loved the cool and calm that rain brought. The rhythm of the droplets crashing to the ground was soothing to me. I meditated on the sound as I took the old familiar path to the pineapple's home.

The rain began to pour as the sight of my destination came near. I ran for the door, not knocking, and let myself in. I flipped the water off of my shirt and threw it at the coat rack next to the door. Plopping down the hallway, making way for the kitchen, I slicked moisture off of my bruised rig cage and shook my hair frantically, I could feel my hair curling and became annoyed as I scratched my head trying to expel the wetness. I completely didn't even hear the voices, or even sense the spiritual pressure difference, until I walked in the doorway. I suddenly got that feeling that comes over you when someone is staring at you, and looked up, long hair hanging in my face. Renji chuckled at the sight of me and my captain smiled and shook his head amusedly. I ran my hand through the crown of my hair, pulling it out of my face and smiled awkwardly, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I apologize, Captain. I can come back later." I turned to leave.

"Wait, Tenshi." I looked over my shoulder at the men. It was my captain that had addressed me, "There was no intrusion, come back in. I was just discussing something with Renji, here." I looked inquisitively at Byakuya and he laughed, "Seriously, Mikazuki. Come here. I have news for you anyway."

I shrugged and walked to the pair. Renji was leaning back against the counter and Kuchiki-Taicho stood in front of the refrigerator directly across from him. I stood next to Renji and came to attention. Byakuya shook his head and looked at the ground. He brought his amused gaze to my eyes, "No one is here, Mikazuki. There is no need for strict formalities."

I shrugged again, hopping up on the counter and folding my legs in front of me. "Sorry, I was threatened last time I showed any disrespect. I wasn't about to be threatened again."

"I don't have to justify myself for that," we stared each other in the eye, unwavering as Renji looked concerned, glancing between the two of us. "I am not staying long, we have finished with anything important," Renji drew his gaze to the floor, I didn't like it when he did that. That meant something was up. "But, I have good news," I looked back to my captain hopefully, "You're request has been approved. You will leave for the real world in a week." Renji suddenly snapped his head to look at me, confusion and worry laced his eyes. Byakuya continued to look at me, as I did him, ignoring Renji. We hadn't talked, so the red head didn't know my plans anymore. "I could only station you for a month, as of yet. When you return, I have been informed that I can restation you almost immediately. Should you need a longer stay."

I bowed slightly and held my knees in my hands. "Thank you Kuchiki-Taicho. It means a lot to me to do this."

He turned away from us and made way to the door, "Anything to help." Standing in the doorway to the hallway, he turned his head to look at us, "I am glad you two are speaking again." And with that he left.

I stared at my lap for a minute, figuring out what had to be done before I would leave. We must have sat there in silence for the longest time, until Renji pushed himself from the counter and took the teapot off of a flame just as the whistle broke my concentration. I hopped down and walked to the side of him and reached up into the cupboard above me for glasses. I handed him one mug and he filled it silently. As I reached to hand him the other I felt a cool set of fingers trace the injury on my back from the shoulder to the base of my spine. I didn't move, but turned my head to look at Renji who was staring at my back, his fingers sitting in the small of my back next to the base of the wound. His face was riddled with concern, that always happened when I was injured. I think the gaze was worse now though because he had been the cause of it. He never looked me in they eye, just at the wound, or the still slightly bruised rib cage, and I saw his chest rise to speak, "That scar is gonna be monstrous. It must have hurt." That was all he seemed able to say.

The tie on his shirt was already loose, he always loosened it as soon as he walked in the door. I reached my hand nearest to him and slid it against the cool inked skin. The shirt fell open and I almost teared at the horrid sight of his torso, "It couldn't have been any worse than any of this." We stood there for a long moment, until I felt his fingers outstretch and his palm rested against my skin. I slid my arm around his waist and hugged him gently in fear of hurting him. His arms encompassed my body easily as he gingerly pulled me to him and held tightly. I felt his lips press against my scalp, not in a kiss, but just to rest there. My face laid against his chest, I breathed in his scent that I had almost forgotten. "I'm sorry, Renji. But you're an ass."

He laughed, I missed that laugh. "Ya, I am. And I'm sorry for the everything I said." He paused, seeming to debate on going on, and said, "Can you forgive me at all?"

I pulled my face back slightly, laying my forehead against his muscles. I sighed, "No." I could feel his body tense against me. I continued, "But I can try to forget it. I meant what I said though."

He relaxed and reached a hand to my face. I felt the warmth of his palm against my cheek as he brought my gaze to his, his thumb rubbing softly against my cheek, "I guess I have to take what I can get, huh?"

I could feel heat rise in my cheeks and I let loose and pulled away. I grabbed the teapot and poured the hot liquid into the empty mug, "Damn right," I heard him chuckle and I smiled, **Got out of that one, _phew_**. "Enough of this gayness," I turned, marching towards the living room, "I am still exhausted from last night."

Renji followed me as I plopped lazily into my claimed spot on the gigantic couch. I began to cocoon myself in the enormous pillows as he sat next to me sipping his tea. "Ya, do you have any idea what happened last night?"

I resisted the urge to choke on my tea and gulped loudly. I giggled at the sound and looked inquisitively at him, "What do you mean? About what?"

He raised his eyebrows, "About anything. I don't remember a damn thing!"

I laughed loudly, time to set a distraction, "You don't remember getting caught by the Captain in the middle of your sinning no good deed." I was being an ass now, I didn't care whether it was a sin or not. But I knew it got his goat when I teased him.

He made a face at me, "Unfortunately I remember that, I don't remember how that started, but I remember that."

I scoffed loudly and he threw another pillow at me.I grabbed it and placed it on my fluffy fortress of pillows, "Ha! Of course you don't. I could prostitute you out when you are drunk, and you wouldn't give a damn. I should start and get some extra cash." I mumbled something about taking it up the butt, into my mug. He never caught that though.

He stuck his tongue out at me and made another face. I just laughed and settled deeper into the couch. Renji shifted uncomfortably. He began to look around him and came to the realization his discomfort was because I had claimed every one of the pillows that lined the couch, and he was leaning against a hard back board. "Asshole, give me one of them at least!" He grabbed for the pillow he had chucked at me, and I instinctively grabbed the other edge of it.

"You threw it at me!" I retorted loudly with a laugh.

"I just dropped it, and it happened to be on your face," it was my turn to make a face, "Besides, you have all of them! Let me have this one."

He tugged on it and we began to play tug of war as he invaded my castle of comfort. That was until I felt his fingers find my stomach and I couldn't hold the in the urge to laugh; he was tickling me. Now, I flail involuntarily when I am being tickled, which wasn't as smart move on his part. My knee collided with his chest making a hard thud. He ceased the torture as he cringed in pain. I was laughing now, but in regret over what I had just done. It wasn't my fault, he was asking for it and he made a funny face. Renji leaned forward and placed his face against my chest, laughing and wincing in pain at the same time. I wrapped an arm around his neck and laughed into it as I leaned my head down to his shoulder, "Your fault."

He laughed, "I know…Can I have a damn pillow now?"

I leaned back from him and shoved a pillow in his face. He laughed and took it to get himself comfortable. I reached over for my tea again and felt that odd feeling again. I looked up to see him staring at me again, "What is it now?" I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to tell me why you _wanted_ to be assigned to hollow duty in the real world? Because you hate going to the real world any other time." **Great, here comes the inquisition.**

I stared into the rippling liquid in my hands. I shifted uncomfortably, I hated talking about my feelings, especially when my head was all out of sorts like this. I hadn't been able to rest lately, on top of these horrid dreams, everything triggered a memory that I would much rather have left in the abyss of my mind. I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, preparing myself, "I need to go back and deal with some things I never really came to terms with. Whenever I have been there, I did my job, hid in the Urahara-Shoten, and ignored everything around me. My subconscious seems to be sick of it. I haven't had a moment of peace in ages. Long before our little tiff."

"Why didn't you say something?" He cocked his head and began the questioning looks.

I shrugged never looking up from my mug, "Wasn't your problem."

"You're an ass." I would take that, I generally was, but really this was my problem, and I didn't care if he got mad at me for thinking so. "Can I ask you a question, Miku?"

I looked up at him. He never asked that, he just outright asked and didn't care if I wanted to answer or not. I was caught off guard, and knew this probably wasn't a good thing coming. I stuttered, "Err…Ya… I guess."

He looked down in his lap now. Not a good sign, "Why did you do it?" I was completely confused at this point, I think he could tell that from the air around us. He never looked at me to see the expression, but clarified anyway, "Why did you give up the lieutenant badge? I don't get why you would do it. You were right, everything would have been different for you."

I figured this would come up at some point. I decided to tell the truth, what could it hurt. I stared at him even though he couldn't bring his gaze to mine. "After we conned our ways into the sixth division, we all knew that was the plan. To get you the badge so your little complex with Rukia would go away." He finally looked at me and I met his gaze unwavering, "So when Byakuya offered it to me, I turned it down. So he went without a real lieutenant for a while, and then it came to you. No big production." I shrugged it off again like it was no big deal.

"But why didn't you tell me? Or let him tell me?"

"Because you would have moped about it like you are now," **turn the sarcastic bitch off, Miku,** "I saw no point. I couldn't take it because I felt like I would have been betraying my best friend. So Byakuya said he understood and made it clear I would never be a subordinate." You could see something click in Renji's mind from the look in his eye. "Yes, that's why you were ordered to never call us subordinates. And that's all she wrote. Nothing more to it." I brought my tea to my lips and sipped leaning back into my pillows.

"I don't know how you can live like it was all that simple."

"Cuz it is to me. I don't understand why it is such a big deal to you."

"Because you could have been so much more well off than you are now. But to help me, you gave it all up?"

"You are important to me, idiot. I would have done the same for Uta. I would never ask you to do it for me. I would actually not forgive you for that."

"And you don't see why I am confused? I can never pay you back for this."

"No, I don't see that. And don't worry about paying me back. But if you really want to, stop moping about this. It's annoying to hear how weird I am for liking my friends." I rolled my eyes, finishing my tea.

He laughed finally and brought the mug to his lips, "I can manage that, I think. I make no promises, though."

"Just remember flattery gets nowhere with me."

He laughed again and winced at the pain, I was all too familiar with, "I love how my best friend is such a dude."


	16. Zanpakto Class

I padded my way down the stairs to the kitchen in the soft sunlight of the early dawn. My footsteps were silent, I didn't want to wake Uta. Although she had been asleep for almost 24 hours straight now. My efforts apparently didn't matter, because when I entered the kitchen, she sat with a glass of apple juice reading some form of paper. "Morning, Miku!" She smiled at me broadly.

I smiled back, "Morning, Uta. Feel any better?"

"Haha, after my session of extreme narcolepsy, ya I feel great!" We both laughed.

I sat myself next to her and grabbed the jug of juice, ignoring my need for a cup, I swigged from the bottle. Uta continued to read and tuned me out totally. I cocked my head trying to see the paper, so I gave up, "Whatchya reading'?"

She looked up suddenly, like I caught her off guard, "Oh! Sorry!" Uta giggled, "It's a note from the captain. He is preparing things for you to leave?" I nodded as she stared at me confusedly. I stared at the jug, swirling the juice inside of it. She would continue eventually, "He says you will find someone to replace you for classes, and I will take up the important amount of your duties."

I gulped a mouthful of juice difficulty, "Mmmm. I am going to ask Ikkaku to sit in with you. He is more than capable and you get along with him well."

"Oh, okay!" She crumpled the paper up and threw it away, "Then the last thing we have to worry about is our zanpakto demo for class at the end of the week." I stared at her in confusion this time. "The idiot is usually the one who spars with you. So we have to figure something out." She stood from the table and made way for the door. We had to prepare for class, and were running late.

I shook my head, grabbing Hinoeuma and sheathing him safely at my hip, "No, don't worry about it. It will be fine. I will remind him later."

We had walked outside and I clicked the door shut behind me. She stood at the bottom of the stoop with a downright baffled look. I smiled and walked past her. I could hear her bounce in place and run to catch up to me, "So my plan worked! You two are talking?!"

I laughed again, she was so excited. "Ya, I suppose it did. But, promise me one thing. You will never try something like that again."

She bounced along next to me, utterly pleased with herself. "I knew it would work! I never thought the captain would give in on helping me, though! I bet he was just fed up with your guys' crap. Ya, that's why he bought it."

I shook my head laughing at her underneath my breath. Let her be happy. What could it hurt.

The days flew by while I was preparing to leave. I had more duties than most, thanks to the incompetence of Renji, that I wanted to get straightened out and simplified before Uta was bombarded. The day arrived of the demonstration, and Uta looked frightfully nervous. "What's the big deal? We have done this a thousand times before," I said.

We were preparing, and the students were sitting on the sidelines, bouncing with anticipation. We were rarely this informal, and seeing them all like this was actually rather amusing. Kasai was helping me to wrap my forearms in bandages, we did this as a precaution to keep from injuring ourselves when not necessary. I watched his hands coil the thick padded gauze around my arm, ignoring the peeved look on Uta's face next to me. "The big deal is that the last time you two fought you tried to kill each other! I don't care if you are talking again, you snap at the drop of a hat, and we don't need you both messed up again."

I rolled my eyes, helping Kasai secure the one bandage while he started the other, "I only snap when there is a reason. And give me a break. You make me sound like I am a lunatic." I heard her mutter something about me and the 11th squad and I turned my head towards her, "What was that?"

"Nothing!" she peeped and turned to stare at the students, "But the idiot isn't even here! Didn't you tell him when to be here? You should've asked Ikkaku or even Akako! But why idiot!?"

I rolled my eyes again, she was only acting like this because she was a bundle of nerves, "Of course I did. Renji is always the one I ask, that is nothing new. And you know that Ikkaku refuses to do this stuff," she went to contradict, but I continued and interrupted her. "Pft, and Akako? Are you out of your mind. We would probably forget what we were doing and just keep going. That is, if she didn't forget we were fighting and jump you." She huffed and folded her arms, I giggled and continued, "Don't worry so much. He is coming up the hill now."

As I finished my sentence, the pineapple came into view. He sauntered up to us as Uta began tapping her foot impatiently. Renji stopped between the two of us, and half hugged me from the side, seeing as my arms were a little preoccupied. The one preoccupying them shot daggers through his veil of hair at him. "Sorry I'm late. Official lieutenant stuff, ya know."

Uta laughed once loudly, "HA! As if. Come on, you need to get ready!" She wrenched Renji around by his wrist and dragged him to Dotoro who was waiting with the bandages. He looked over his shoulder at me with a questioning look.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You know she is impatient."

By the time my legs and rib cage had been bandaged properly, Renji was ready to go. Uta walked in front of the crowd to give the opening speech about zanpaktos, spiritual pressure, and blah blah blah. I hated these formalities. Renji was standing next to me and I began to explain why Uta was having a panic attack about the whole thing. We had agreed to stop the fight if we felt it was getting out of hand, but I could understand Uta's worry. We were both a little too hot headed to remember promises when angry.

She came to the point in the speech where we would soon have to take places. Renji reached down and undid his shirt discarding it on the ground. I did the same and tied my halter top of my shihakusho around my waist, leaving the strip of clothing covering my chest I had to wear today. This was the reason for the bandage covering. The physique was a part of the training, and this gave the full effect of how a shinigami must be conditioned for battle. I rolled my eyes as the girls began to swoon audibly at the man next to me. I gagged audibly as they fawned like 12 year olds over his tattoos. He just laughed and smirked. I said out of the corner of my mouth as he began to take position at the other side of the field, "Remember, that's jail bait."

He laughed loudly, causing a glare from Uta. He said the same way I had, "Noted, but if I were you I would watch the heap of raging hormones that are drooling at you." I shook my head holding in a laugh. Kasai and his buddies did look a litele dumb founded.

We took our positions as Uta turned and kept the speech going, "Lieutenant Abarai and third seat Tenshi-Sensei have rare forms of zanpaktos, as they can be seen." Zabimaru, in all of his baboon-ness, appeared and stood cockily next to his master, snake headed tail slithering in the air around him. Hinoeuma, my fiery black steed, took place proudly at my side.

"Hoero, Zabimaru," The redhead said aloud for the students to hear well. Renji's blade began to link into form. The segments of metal sang through the air around him, with a flick of his wrist. The blade fell and clicked loudly into place as the links rested in his grasp.

"Tokeru, Hinoeuma," I chanted and my blade melted into the coil it was used to. Metallic liquid from the blade trickled up my arm and over my body. It rippled into place on my right arm, and my appendage became silver metal with ruby flames tickling slightly at my finger tips. The long silver whip in my left hand cracked loudly above my head as I swung it over my head.

"A zanpakto is based off of the individuals spirit pressure. Lietenant Abarai's changed from the slim blade, to his linked and transforming other. While your Sensei's takes its original form in the thick eight foot long blade, and transforms to her arm guard and altering whip." You could tell Uta was still nervous by the tone in our voice as we flexed our weapons and whirled them in the air again to more elaborately show their effects. Our spirits disappeared from sight.

"These forms of these blades are called Shikai. These are their first forms of the zanpakto. The commands you heard are what tell you they have mastered their zanpakto. One can not simply pick a name and have their abilities given to them. The living spirit has a name and must be found by communicating with it, in it's own world. You will now see how the Shikai's differ in battle than the normal blades you are used to seeing," you could almost here the cringe in Uta's voice with the last words. I turned for a moment to look at Uta and she was literally cringing, eyes shut as if she were witnessing a bomb go off.

At the last second I felt the whiz of the linked blade fall on top of me, I lazily raised my metallic arm and held it firmly, Zabimaru ricocheting away from it and Renji landing softly in front of me. "Better pay attention, Sensei," he smirked at me.

I gave him a wolf tooth grin in return, "As if you could ever take me by surprise, Lieutenant." Renji propelled himself backward just as my, now shorter, whip of steel snapped past his left ear.

"The Flash Step is also key to most soul reapers, but we as sixth division members are experts at the cause. This is the art of moving faster than the eye can see, to compensate when you are left open in attack for battles. Or just to make you look superior, in general," she was poking fun at the captain now, "The idea is to use the least amount of steps to get from point A to point B, and this varies with training and ability."

Uta sounded as if she were relaxing as we began to have fun and she continued her speech on how my zanpakto changed form to comply with the need, how we incorporated the flash step strategically in battle, and how both of our first releases required us to be good at hand to hand combat; thanks to the long distance reaches they were originally. Basically more blah, blah, blah. But it had to be done.

We fell to our original positions naturally as Uta continued with the speech on Hado and Kido. Uta began the speech on Kido first, and formed a barrier between the audience and the battle ground. When the speech fell to Hado we both jumped into the air and chanted simultaneously, "Hado 33, Shakkaho!" Red fire pooled in a ball in front of our hands and shot at the ground in the center of the battlefield. A significant whole was left in the ground. We both touched lightly to the ground and ran the circumference of the area, swapping original positions. "Hado #4, Byakurai!" Circling orbs of white lightning formed at our fingertips and propelled towards one another, almost too fast for eyes to see. The tongs of light shot out as they collided over the whole in the ground with a sonic boom. We had to form shields of spiritual pressure to keep from getting harmed. The students remained unscathed as they sat, flinching dramatically seeping oooohs and aaaahs, as the power rammed into Uta's barrier. She was unphased, and stood comfortably behind the wall.

"Hados become stronger as the shinigami does. Captain's have mastered this ability in ways that would crush what you have just seen here," rabble emitted from our pupils behind the kido as it fell and disappeared. The things that baffled students was amazing, "You will notice that your sensei's power, had a farther reach, and strength, than that of the lieutenant. That is because she is trained, and is more skilled than the lieutenant." Uta pushed back giggles, seeing the look of the pineapple, and tried to remain official.

"And lastly," she outstretched her hands, beginning to replace the protective wall again, "is that of the second final release, Bankai." The barrier fell into a large box around the pupils and we could no longer hear anything. They could still hear us, but to make sure the students remained unharmed, the kido had become much stronger.

We watched and waited for the signal to begin. Uta turned slowly, folding her arms in her sleeves, prepared to concentrate, and gave the simple nod of the head. Her eyes shut in thought, preparing for the brute force that may ensue against her strength.

Renji slouched into his normal fighting stance. He pronounced sharply and clearly, "Hihio Zabimaru." The bone like dragon of a snake appeared in a flash of light and coiled around his master. The fur shawl that attached to Renji's shoulders set into place as the fanged head of the snake roared, hovering just above his own head.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, cocking my hip and standing lazily in place. The words fell from my lips like water, "Sakigake Hinoeuma." Five places on either side of me began to erupt in flames like roaring bonfires that appeared out of nowhere. I grinned with my eyes still closed, feeling the heat on my skin while it tossed strands of my hair back and forth. The fires burst into blaze simultaneously and my herd of black and ruby red chargers stood. I opened my eyes and laughed at the release. The horses prancing, rearing, and neighing ferociously making their manes and tails engulf into wildfire.

Uta was concentrating sternly, but it was easy to tell from her reiatsu that she had become uneasy with our releases. She was always afraid that I would revert back to my bloodlust in battle, but she had nothing to worry about. She did laugh for a moment, presumably at what someone said behind the barrier, we could only see the gawking faces.

Renji stormed forward first, his beast blasting ahead of him. I cracked my whip above my head loudly and my herd charged forward with me. Few gained momentum and flew at the head of Zabimaru while others attacked the body that was flailing at me. They erupted into flames as they made impact and reformed just yards away seconds later. Renji and I sparred lazily to keep from getting into it too much. We tried to keep our creatures from beating against Uta, but it was difficult because of Zabimaru's size. As Hinoeuma rushed him, he paid no attention as to where he was dragging him too. It took more effort to try and keep ourselves contained, than it was to actually fight. "We better wrap this up," Renji suggested.

I nodded, silently calling Hinoeuma in a momentary retreat. It gave Zabimaru less than a second to gain ground and form around Renji lazily again. Hinoeuma came into line again, as Zabimaru took flight in segments, beginning to glow pink. Hinoeuma cackled in my head as he stomped the ground begging to be set free. I closed my eyes and nodded, giving him his wish. He took his counterparts into a charge around me in a circle, Zabimaru encircling just the same and closing in. My stallions gained speed and were blurred in movement, a wall of fire now surrounding me. I heard a roar as the snake like demon began to glow brightly and peaked on the point of exploding. The detonation of pink power sung through the air as my herd imploded into a gargantuan wall of inferno.

When the flames subsided, I stood unscathed, but Renji was kneeling on one knee, panting, his blade reverted back to his shikai. He stood and smiled, flipping the stray hairs from his face. I smiled back and we turned to Uta who had regained her posture, small beads of sweat had formed at her hairline. She flicked a wrist and the yellow obstruction fell to the ground. We sat there in silence for a moment, until Uta turned with a raise of an eyebrow. I came to my place next to Uta. Jaws were dropped and eyes were wide. She giggled, "Well, tell them what you thought!"

The red and blue uniforms popped up and began to applaud and whistle. Renji sauntered over to me, hugged me loosely, and took his place next to me. We sent taunting stares at Uta together. She raised her hands in defense. There was nothing to worry about, and she knew that now. Students began to fumble to us, asking questions and some only forming simple words like fire, snake, and boom. We laughed as Uta bounced next to us trying not to be knocked over. She had enough after a moment and yelled deeply, almost man like, from the back of the crowd, "ALRIGHT PEOPLE!" Heads whipped around as students froze, fearing that tone of voice, "Gain some composure and get back to your places!"

We laughed as they slumped to their seats on the ground. Uta stood next to me again and began the ending of the whole shpeal. Renji laid his blade against his shoulder cocking a hip and hitting me to gain my attention. I didn't turn but cocked an ear towards him. "I only let you win because you can't be looking inferior to your students," he slipped through a smirk so only I could hear.

Uta said our goodbyes, and I nodded my head in accordance. I flicked my hair over my shoulder and muttered in that split second of cover, "Oh I am sure." Renji chuckled and lowered his head, while the students rose to bow to him as they left. The last to leave bowed in front of Uta and then me. He stood up and smiled, black choppy layers hanging lazily in his face. I smiled back as he spoke, "That was amazing, Sensei. We truly underestimated you." He bowed again to me and left the field, completely ignoring Renji. I roared with laughter as he left sight. Renji cursed Kasai and swore he would teach him manners next time he saw him.


	17. Momentary Goodbyes

The next few days seemed to drag on longer than I thought possible. I never stopped moving, but constantly felt like time was halting in intervals to confuse me. I ran all over the seretei finding things that I had neglected to do, securing things with other squad members that I knew could handle them, and talked frequently with Kuchiki-Taicho of what my plans were and what I thought I could leave Uta with and not overburden her. On the night before I was to leave, I met with Kasai as usual for his training. He had become a threat with a blade, an actual blade, and was doing well. It took a lot of polite coercion to get Kasai comfortable with the idea of training with Ikkaku while I was away. I would have left him with Akako, but I didn't entirely trust that my beloved boy would have the same outlook on the world when I returned. She would probably have him ready to murder anything in his path. But, for now he was in Ikkaku's more than capable hands.

I said my goodbyes to Kasai, with the strange feeling I would see him the next day before I left anyway, and made my way home. I dragged my shirt in my left hand, letting the air breeze away the sweat from the skin my shirt left exposed, with Hinoeuma cocked on my shoulder. I hummed a melodic tune taking my time heading home, enjoying the aloneness and getting lost in the melody. My mind was so preoccupied with its own hymn that I almost didn't notice Kuchiki-Taicho as he passed in front of me, departing an alleyway. I slid to a halt and let out a breath, I was inches from him and came very near to running into him head on, "Captain, I am so sorry, I didn't even notice you coming!"

He smiled slightly and looked down on me kindly, "It's quite alright, Mikazuki. I was lost in thought and not paying attention either. It was not entirely your fault." I smiled. We both had the same tendency of forgetting the outside world when thinking. I bowed my head slightly and backed away, making a move to leave, when he spoke again, "Do you have pressing matters to see to, or can you walk with me for a moment?"

I stuttered for a second and nodded my head, somewhat in shock from the random request, I turned and fell in step next to my superior as he turned and walked down the road. I was slightly on edge, I had no real idea why I would have to talk to the Captain. I was sure I hadn't done anything, **but I could be wrong**. As my mind flew in circles trying to figure if I had fucked something up, Byakuya broke the silence again, "So are you prepared to leave in the morning."

I sighed with relief, I hadn't done anything. "Yes, I believe I am for once. I am just worried how things will go, in my stead," I said sheathing my blade in my sash and slouching my yukata on without fastening it.

"We will manage, Tenshi. But that is not really what I am asking." I looked up at him, confused. Reading the expression on my face, he chuckled, "Isn't this trip for you to not have to worry about anyone else?" I nodded, smiling slightly and staring at the path ahead, "I meant, are you prepared for what you will encounter when you get there. What you are expecting to deal with." He meant my flashbacks. I had told him just about everything when I had requested to be assigned to hollow duty. He was so taken aback, mainly because I fought the assignment tooth and nail when I was forced to it, and now I was requesting it. I had felt obligated to explain and the Captain never seemed to be disgusted by my issues. He spoke again, "It is extraordinary how you remember these things from your life. I can't imagine it being an easy thing to deal with. Do you believe you will be able to handle this all alone?"

I stretched my arms in the air, and let them slump against my sides, "I don't know about being prepared, but I am ready to suck it up. I have been fighting them off for so long, the only thing I can think of to make them stop haunting me, is to face them and remember them. All of them." I ignored the fact that I was leaving to see if these stupid thoughts of Renji would stop in his stead. That was a little too much for me to tell my Captain.

We had turned down a path at some point, I had completely missed that fact, and were apparently walking down a dirt road. The moon was fighting the twilight to come out, and began to trickle its silvery light on the trees. This was the captain's normal route he walked frequently. Uta and I had seen him countless times as we wandered home at night. I padded along next to him, **I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep if I had gone home anyway**, I thought to myself. The strength in his presence shifted as the captain went to speak, "But do you think you will be able to handle all of these things on your own? Without your friends assistance?"

I raised an eyebrow, "I should, I have never bothered them with anything about this before. What would the difference be if I did now?"

He shrugged his shoulders gently and tilted his head, "I am not entirely sure, but when dealing with things that bother the mind, it is usually nice to have back up." The path was lit in silver and cherry blossoms were falling loosely from the trees. It was really beautiful, and relaxing. I could see why the captain made his way here over and over.

Albeit I was relaxed, I was getting more confused by the second, "I am trying to get out of here for a while to keep away from my friends and their issues. And I am not sure what you are trying to get at, Captain. Do you not want me to leave?" I thought about the sound of that quickly and added, just in case, "I mean if it is an issue, I understand…"

He raised a hand and laughed, cutting me off from my ramble, "No, no that is not it, Mikazuki. I just want to make sure you will be alright is all. It is still remarkable that you have such vivid memories of your past. It is very rare. I just needed to know you would be alright on your own," we paused at the edge of a concrete path back to civilization and turned to each other, "You are needed around here. Whether I say that often enough or not, please take care of yourself. I know how daunting mental trauma can be." I nodded and bowed, smiling.

We made movements to say our departures, when a familiar reiatsu came to the edge of the path from the trees. Akako stood on the edge of the forest looking at the two of us in slight shock. Her hair was loose and blowing slightly in the wind, it was nice to see her relaxed for once in a long while. She bowed slightly and voiced, "Sorry for the intrusion captain, I was looking for Mikazuki-chan." She never made a move to leave, and it was obvious she new she would be interrupting. It is damn near impossible to miss the captain's reiatsu. Unless you're me and get distracted like a five year old, but I didn't put that past her either.

I laughed in my throat and the captain shook his head, "Very well." He rolled his eyes at me, making me chuckle. It amused me to no end how Akako didn't give a damn what the Captain thought. He turned and left as she walked triumphantly to me.

"So I suppose I am going for another stroll?" I asked, eyebrow raised with a laugh in my voice.

She grinned at me, "There is no way in hell your taking me back to your house with that _thing_." I laughed loudly and she smiled. She had taken to calling Uta the thing.

"Fine, lets just go back this way." I turned and took the same path Byakuya and I had taken to get here. I turned to look at her as she bounced into place at my left, "So what's up."

"I just figured I ought to say my goodbyes. What kind of friend would be if I just stood you up in your time of need?" Her eyes grinned as she looked at me from the corners of them.

I groaned, she was picking at me, "I am not in a time of need! I just need a break from you losers."

She laughed out loud this time and I smiled. "Ya, well either way, I didn't want to be there tomorrow. The idiot will be there no doubt."

"Still not ok?" I asked, meaning if she was ok with the sight of Renji. The pink petals began to flutter around us to a silent tune as we wandered down the pathway.

She thrusted her hands in her pockets and pouted a funny face as she looked up at the trees above us. "Eh, I can deal. Manage would be a better word. But that instinct to kill takes a while to subside. You know, I am not sure why I am telling you," I laughed this time and nodded as she grinned, "Can you tell me something?"

"What?"

"How the hell does Byakuya find, and linger, in places where there are those stupid little cherry blossoms everywhere?" I was dieing of laughter, she just grinned, and continued to make that face at the trees above us, "Seriously! It's like he has sensors of all things pink or something. It's harder than hell to find these things in the soul society, and he always seems to have a cloud of them mistily dropping to the ground around him."

"Haha, almost as bad as the random guy with the background music in the movies." I said between laughs.

"Ya, and everyone is confused at where the hell they are coming from, and start looking around like idiots." She was laughing with me by then.

We sighed relief as the wave of humor subsided, and we continued to drag our feet slowly down the silvery forested corridor.

The silence wasn't uneasy, it never was, but I broke the silence, I had something on my mind. "Can I ask you the question this time? Kinda serious…"

She shifted to me slightly and we kept walking, "Shoot."

"Does it bother you that I still talk to Renji? Honestly."

She breathed in deeply and sighed loudly, looking at the ground before us, "Honestly, kind of, mostly at first. Then you jumped him, I knew you would if I had asked, but it meant more when you did it on your own," I grinned shaking my head, she smiled staring at the ground still and continued, "It does, but I have decided to get over it. It bothers me. But not exactly, I mean you were best friends long before we were together. I would be beyond evil if I expected you to stop talking to him. And your one of the only people I am not _beyond_ evil too. And you keep him far away from me. That helps a lot." We laughed together at this. She obviously was still working out what to think about all of it. She went on, "Actually when I first met you both in the academy, I thought you were together. Probably because you were attached at the hip."

There was almost a questioning glare from the corner of her eye, and I had to fight the urge to choke on spit in my throat. I hadn't told her about the other night, well really I couldn't, because I had no concrete idea what had happened. Either way she wouldn't be happy to find out how I woke up. So, I collected myself in milliseconds and shrugged my shoulders, "People still do. We have always been weird."

"Ya, I know. I am not worried about it. As long as you keep those two things _away from me_," she meant Renji and Uta. We laughed together again, "And hey," I turned to look at her as her words hit my ears. She seemed to serious to be joking around about anything. She began with no tone of amusement, "I am seriously in need of some," I cringed, not having any clue what it could be, and she continued, "Caffeine…" There was a momentary pause before I burst into another fit of laughter. Akako stared at me blinking blankly, "What? I mean it! Shuuhei keeps giving me damn tea!" I sighed, wiping the dewy tears from my eyes. "What's so damn funny!"

"Nothing, Calm down. My mind was reeling from that I-mean-business-right-now face of yours, and then its all about coffee."

"Well, I do mean business! I am going through withdrawals!"

I nodded, "Since you were my main source of it, I have been itching for it to," Akako glared at me trying to figure out if I was ridiculing her, "No joke, me too, I think. I almost ate Uta's head off the other day for waking me up."

She scoffed loudly, "I don't see the downfall in that, but can you pleaaaaaaaaaase bring me some?" She had her hands folded in front of her and shaking them at me. That was Akako's version of begging, and that's all anyone would ever get out of her.

I waved a hand at her lazily, "Don't worry about it. I don't disappoint."

"Thank you! You are seriously my savior, but I may murder someone in the month you are gone."

"Just remember it's on its way, not that you have ever been great at mind over matter," I chuckled.

She purred a, "mmmm," in agreement and we persisted to walk in silence. I could see civilization peeking through the scenery in the distance.

"So this was my goodbye, I guess?" I asked.

"Yup," she said simply as we walked out of the dramatic scenery and onto the dirt road where we would have to part. We turned towards each other and smiled coyly, saying nothing for a second. Akako spoke, "Well, send me a message if you are in distress or need me to kick Ichigo's ass."

"Haha, I think I can handle myself, but I will keep it in mind. Promise me not to maim and destroy too much while I am gone. I feel out of the loop and hate to miss a good fight."

She teetered to the side with laugher, "I figured you could handle it, and I make no promises. But I will try." she exhaled deeply and regained composure, "Well, then. Just stay safe and don't go crazy." She extended her arms out and waited for me to bend down and hug her. I laughed and complied. As we squeezed tightly, "And your ass better find me as soon as you come back and tell me everything. Take notes." We let go and backed away grinning at each other.

I chuckled in my head, "I will. Don't Worry."

We passed each other and made way for our beds, Akako yelled one last time over her shoulder, "I'm serious! Pen and paper! And don't forget the coffee!"

I laughed over my shoulder and yelled back, "Oh, I know! I got this. See you in a month!"

"Bye, Miku!"

"Bye, Ko!"

I shuffled down the path between buildings, mind wandering, wondering why it was taking so long to reach my own front door. My tune came back and was only there momentarily as I heard a shout from behind me, "HEY! Long legged, whore! Wait up!"

I sighed as a laugh left my lips, I knew who it was before I even turned. Sayuri was walking up the path behind me, waving her hands to get my attention. I stopped and waited for her to catch up and she smiled broadly at me. "What's up girl? You usually don't wander around by yourself, at least not this early." I questioned amusedly.

She twisted her face at me, "Have you seen Byakuya anywhere? He keeps wandering off when I need him."

I laughed in my throat, turning around and walking as I was before. She scrambled to my side when she finally realized I was walking away. I snickered, "For what I am not going to ask, but I was walking with him a little while ago. I don't know where he went, though. Akako scared him off."

She chuckled at the statement, "He's afraid she will throw a vase or something else random at him. He should be headed home then, I guess. How are you ?"

We kept walking, the Kuchiki manor was in the same vicinity as my home, for obvious reasons. So we just kept on lolling our way down the path. I shrugged, "I'm fine. But I have seen more people today, asking that question, than I have in weeks." She laughed, "Nothing really major going on, though. You okay?"

"Yup. Bored, so I figured I would find Captain Moody. I need to…"

I cut her off, "No more, don't need any more of that info."

"Listen, I will tell you that info whether you like it or not. You will hear it."

"Nope, won't, no way, no how. Don't need to know about you and your sexcapades with my captain. Too much info." We were laughing and arguing like five year olds. We did this a lot, but it was obviously never serious.

"You know what, Renji is a better friend than you. Ya, Renji," I just raised my eyebrow and glared down at her, "Renji would listen to me and my…err my… needs. That's it, my needs. And my sexcapades!"

I shook my head, "Renji can be a better friend then, I don't wanna hear about you getting your dick wet. Even though you don't have one."

"How do you know that?" She mocked upwards at me.

We began to laugh so hard that tears were leaking out of our eyes slowly. We sucked air in huffs trying to gain our composures. Sayuri strained to talk through aching abdomen muscles, "Ah. So really your okay? Ready to ship out?"

"I will be back sooner than anyone realizes they miss me. It's not forever."

"Listen, I missed you already. And I saw you like five minutes ago."

"More like yesterday."

"Exactly and I missed you already."

"That made no sense."

"Stop being an ass! I am telling you I missed you!

We fought off laugher again and continued to walk. We were making our way along the east wall of the Kuchiki manor and I just rolled my eyes, "Why are we so stupid?"

"'Cuz we are meant for each other that's why."

"That's gotta be it."

"Definitely, no other reason."

I chortled as we passed the front steps and Sayuri began to bounce up them. Kuchiki-Taicho was sitting on the top stair and I just continued to walk. Sayuri belted, "There you are! I walked all over the place with this tan ho trying to find you!"

I ignored it and kept walking, "I went for a walk, like I always do," came sarcastically out of the captain's mouth. By the tone of voice, you could tell he was tuning out the informalities and disrespect.

"Oh well, whatever. Let's go, Bya-kun," She said turning and dragging the captain into the house. That was the last thing I saw out of the corner of my eye before I heard, "SEE! NEEDS!"

"DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! DON'T CARE IF RENJI'S A BETTER FRIEND!"

We laughed loudly at each other as I finally closed the gap between me and my bed.

I woke the next morning to Uta pouting. It was clearly about my departure, Uta hated goodbyes. It didn't matter if it was for a day, month, or year. She always dreaded it. I could feel the glum radiate off of her as we made our way to the Senkai gate. She had called off class for the morning so she could say goodbye. I had attempted to talk her out of it to no avail. I sighed with almost relief as we came to the destination we were headed for.

The captain had foregone the normal procedures for today. He had said it was not necessary since I essentially wasn't going for the normal reasons. I secretly thought he hated those damn rules just as much as I did.

The normal faces I imagined would be there, were all there. With a few exceptions, though.

I could see Ikkaku with Kasai at his side, eyeing the bald man warily. They were a bit of an odd pair. The captain and Sayuri stood there as she beamed at me and mouthed the word _needs_. I smiled and shook my head as we said our goodbyes and hugged. Rukia was next to her beaming just the same. I was friends with her, but was confused as to why she was here. I was more confused why Ichigo was standing with her when he had left for the real world long ago. But the weird thing was, there was no Renji. **How could that idiot pineapple not even say goodbye?**

Ikkaku walked over in his cocky way and looked down at me with a grin, "Have a good trip, girl. Don't get rusty beating those hollows in. They don't keep you fit." He turned his head and looked at Kasai who was now at his side, "I think me and the runt here are gonna get along. I will take good care of him." Ikkaku raised two hands to his gleaming forehead and waved them away, "Scout's honor."

I laughed and clasped his hand as he threw it out at me, holding it firmly, "Don't worry about me, and you better, or you will feel the wrath of Uta, and she is sneaky. Don't underestimate her. Not to mention the fit of rage you will get from me when I come back, if you don't."

He laughed loudly and cockily, "HA! Got it. Maybe I will mess around just to get a good fight. We never spar anymore." I just shook my head as I let go of his grip.

I turned to Kasai, and looked at him, he was staring at the ground shuffling dirt under his foot, hands thrusted in his pockets. It was really uncanny how he looked like an off colored Ichigo with black hair. "Kasai, are you gonna look at me or are you going to play with dirt in between your toes?"

He looked up quickly and caught my gaze, eye to eye. He looked back down but snapped to formal attention, "I am sorry, Sensei. I didn't mean any disrespect."

"You can calm down, Kasai. No one is going to reprimand you for saying goodbye to me." He looked up at me now, and I could see the nervousness in his eyes as he glanced sideways at Ikkaku. I grabbed his shoulder in my hand and walked him to a safe distance away from the cueball. "Listen, you are going to be fine. Uta will be there with you too. I will be back before you know it."

He nodded and bowed to me just slightly. When he rose he smiled at me. "That's more like it," I slapped him playfully on the cheek and he grinned. "You will be fine," I reassured again.

"Goodbye, Tenshi-Sensei."

"Goodbye, Kasai. Remember, back before you know it."

He nodded and I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and looked down to see Rukia smiling.

"I wanted to say goodbye," Rukia said in her Rukia way, quietly yet meaningful, "And I wanted to let you know that if you have to get away from that perv Urahara, you can sleep in my closet. " She waved her hand at Ichigo lazily. "You're the only one that one try anything funny," she glared at Ichigo jokingly then turned back to me excitedly, "You will like it. It has a little light now, and wall thingies and everything! Much better than getting hit on by hat and clogs all the time."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and cocked Zangetsu on his shoulder the same way I did when I was bored, "I don't need your permission to house _my friends too_, you know."

"You keep telling yourself that," she piped angrily.

Ichigo went to retort before I cut him off. Uta was talking chattily with Sayuri, to bide time while I said my other goodbyes. "But can you tell me why you are here?" I asked, I was honestly confused.

"Rukia said it was just you," and he looked down at her, "And we both figured you might not want to make the trip alone. So I came to see you in. I'm just a good guy like that." Rukia and I both let out a simultaneous 'HA' and he jumped to defend himself, "Hey I am! Who are you guys to talk…"

"No need to babble on like that, you idiot, 'cuz she doesn't need you. She has me." I whipped my head around as Ichigo stared angrily at the voice behind me. Here came the moron, walking up lazily with his hand resting on his hip, the other arm resting on zabimaru in its hilt. But wait? What had he just said.

I turned to the captain, "Can someone please tell me what is going on?" I asked Kuchiki-Taicho specifically, not anyone. This had to be his doing and I didn't have a good feeling about it.

Renji came and stood at my side, in front of Ichigo and looked down at me. I stared up at him as he went to explain even though I hadn't asked him, "What's there to tell, I am going with you."

I whipped my head back to the Captain, who had already walked to my side and held a hand on my shoulder. It was beginning to annoy me, I was the tallest girl and yet I kept having to look up at people. Byakuya looked down at me with his calm-down-the-world-isn't-ending look. His hand held my shoulder firmly, "Renji has requested to go with you during your stay. Since he never really offers to go, it only seemed to make sense that he would leave with you while the gate is open."

That was a load of bull, he didn't have to leave with me. I strained to speak through my teeth in a whisper so the others wouldn't hear, "But that kind of defeats the purpose of this request, Captain." Hell, he was half the reason I was leaving. Byakuya just tilted his head to the side and shrugged minutely. I was becoming agitated as I realized this was the reason for all of those odd questions last night. He was gauging what my reaction would be like. I turned my head to Renji, "And what is the big deal? I have been with you almost everyday for the last week and you never said a damn thing." I now knew the need for the hand on my shoulder, it was to hold me in place. The Captain knew me too well. I would have stormed off by now if I wasn't stuck in place.

"Figured it wasn't your problem," Renji shrugged. He was mocking me, that's what I had said when he asked why I hadn't told him I was leaving.

I roared an angry growl, I had to leave one way or the other. The only way I could back out of a deployment was in an emergency. As I was mentally going through things I could pull in the next five seconds to not have to leave, Uta peered around the Captain. She voiced shyly, "Miku, why is it so bad Renji is going with you? It would make me feel better if he did."

"Did you know about this?" I was on the verge of being completely appalled at this gang up on me, that I had had no clue about.

She shook her head frantically, "No way, if I did I would have said something. I am not getting killed. I don't bank on Renji being in one piece when you get to Karakura town now. It would still make me fell better if you guys went together."

I huffed audibly, at least Uta wasn't betraying me. I turned my head to the Captain, who was still holding me in place, "But really, how did he get to go in such a hurry. I had to wait forever to get confirmation to leave."

"Cuz I pulled some strings. Lieutenants have some pull around here to, ya know," Renji went on, answering instead of the captain.

I growled loudly and flailed my arms once for dramatics. I bent down and hugged Uta, then whipped and grabbed Ichigo by the arm, "Let's go." I wasn't getting anywhere here, and I doubted I would get any answers. The Captain took little time to activate everything and the Senkai gate was soon glowing and opening in its theatrical way. The three of us stepped inside and turned to see the others as the doors began to slide shut. Rukia waved warmly with Uta and Sayuri bouncing up and down screaming goodbye and flapping wildly. Kasai, Ikkaku and Byakuya stood there with their manly poses. Ikkaku and Kasai waved as the Captain bowed his head slightly at me. I returned the nod and tried to smile and wave through the agitation as the portal thudded shut. I had a feeling this trip wouldn't be as beneficial to my mental health as planned.


	18. Here We Go

Intro note: I got bored, and I am not to fond of how the other part of the fic is written. So I tried a different perspective for the hell of it. Here it is, I am not sure whether or not I am going to keep writing like this though. I like the different side of things, but it is much harder to get done than normal haha. Let me know what you think.

The brightly glowing doors slid open like an supernatural elevator, exposing the open sky of Karakura Town. Mikazuki rolled her eyes and clenched her hand on the handle of her blade, ignoring the bickering voices that bellowed behind her. _**Not ten minutes out of the seretei and they are already bickering like five year olds. So much for my mental health get away.**_ Renji and Ichigo were screaming at the top of their lungs, inches away from one another's face. The incoherent babble had something to do about touching, well, that is as much as Mikazuki could get out of the situation. They could break glass the way they were bellowing. She suppressed the urge to say something coy due to the fact that the pair had done more than touch recently. She laughed, deciding the best thing to do was to keep her mouth shut on that one.

Taking a step out of the otherworldly portal, she stepped solidly on air. A perk of being a shinigami. As she turned around to look at the pair, all that could be done was to sigh. The wind caught her black hair in a breeze and she shouted from behind strands of ebony locks, "It's nice to see the two of you getting along SO WELL!" The last words had finally caught the attentions of the quarreling men. They both froze mid scream and clamped their mouths shut while they gawked at her. They looked like a pair of siblings that had been yelled at by their mother. Mikazuki went to speak again, only to be caught off guard by an unnerving presence. They all turned to the east, noticing the familiar nuisance of spiritual pressure. This warranted another eye roll, that she was so famous for, and she turned back to the men, the doors beginning to crawl to a close slowly. "You two can stay here and bicker, and then try and explain to Kuchiki-Taicho why the hell you are back in the soul society so soon. That is when the doors close on you. But I am off to take care of this hollow issue." She raised a hand in the air signaling a small wave, "So, see ya!" she grinned sarcastically and plummeted out of their sight. The last thing she could see above her as she fell quickly to the ground was the two men fighting to fit out of the shrinking gap in the supernatural gate, simultaneously.

Ichigo had made his way home long ago, as the sixth division pair roamed the streets of Karakura town. They were putting off their arrival to the Urahara Shoten as long as possible, taking time to destroy anything that needed to be taken care of. The tall red head sighed deeply and dramatically, matching step with the smaller raven haired female next to him. "So brief me again, why we are here for a whole month. A week wouldn't do the trick?" Renji said relaxed with his hands held behind his head.

Mikazuki folded her arms in front of her chest and shook her head, she had more or less answered this question a thousand times before she had left, "This is my mental health hike, and no, a week wouldn't suffice." She looked up at her best friend and saw him nod. This aggravated her, she hated repeating herself, and it could be told by the look on her face as she focused on the ground in front of them and went to speak again, "And no one told you to come anyway."

Renji kicked a rock lazily, his arms slumping from their original position to his sides, "Ya well, I do what I want, so can we drop this?" Mikazuki met the man's gaze without hesitation, they were both tired and cranky, it never really helped that they were so much alike, but they managed. The irritation could be felt like a lazer between the two of them, until she gave in and closed her eyes turning her head forward again. He grinned while Mikazuki gave a small nod, signaling the unwillingness to argue, at least for now. "Besides, you know its always more fun when I'm around," Renji joked bumping his friend with his side. He loved ticking his friend off. He had figured out how to push those buttons, almost, from the moment they had met in the soul academy.

A glare was received by the pavement, Mikazuki had refused to look at Renji. "We better go announce our arrival to hat and clogs. We have wasted enough time for one day."

"Yes, Ma'am!" He signaled a salute to no one, following the girl down an alleyway.

Mikazuki sighed inwardly. _**I wonder if I should tell him **_all_** of the reasons why I wanted to leave the seretei**_. She shook the thought from her head and let her mind focus on the tune that the hunk of inked muscle behind her was whistling, and began to hum along. _**What was the point in wallowing at the moment?**_

The moon cascaded through the open window, mingling with the crisp autumn air. Mikazuki sat up in her bed and let the blanket fall down her body. The sleep deprivation was beginning to wear on her and she could almost physically feel it as she laid her head in the palms of her hands. The breeze drifted in stirring things to life in the room. Although there wasn't much to it.

She tilted her head to the side as she rested her elbows against her lap to hold her up, and took in the scene. The white gauzy curtains danced against the window pain and flew into the room rustling clothes, edges of blankets and hair. Renji was sprawled out on the separate mattress next to her, hair loose and messy, blankets tangled around him, shirtless and snoring slightly. She let out a chuckle and arched her back in a stretch before flopping back down on the mattress beneath her. They had always shared a room in the Urahara-Shoten. This time would be no different.

_**He really had to come**_, she thought to herself, _**I don't understand why he had to do that. And not telling me before hand didn't help my reaction either**_. The truth was that she hadn't wanted anyone to accompany her to the world of the living. _**The idea was to get away from everything, not to bring the crap with me.**_ The thing she had never told her best friend, and with due reason, was the final straw when deciding on this little "vacation". For some reason, the thought of her and Renji being more than friends had forced its way into her dreams. The images that woke her up at night, plagued her daily thoughts. She had no clue why this lunatic concept had come to be, the dream just slapped her in the face one day and she couldn't make heads nor tails of it. Yes, her memories from her days as one of the living were frequenting her thoughts, but she could deal with those. She had dealt with them for so long, but these new thoughts just baffled her. Mikazuki wasn't sure if she could fight off the dreams with Renji wrapped around her, the insistant moaning from the dreams echoed in her head whenever he made an entrance around her. She could try and put an end to the memories that were annoying her mind though. She needed space from everything. Something, any sort of repreive, would help her not to snap again. Last time she nearly killed her best friend.

She thudded her hands against the mattress loudly and got up to close the window. The air was nice, comforting, but if either of them got sick they would both be miserable. So instead she closed the window quietly and grabbed her yukata, slipping it on as she slipped out the door grabbing her blade.

Being preoccupied with her own thoughts, Mikazuki never noticed the red head staring at her from the mattress next to her own. Renji watched her leave and contemplated on following after her. He quickly figured it would be a useless doing, she could handle herself and would probably be pissy anyway. He stretched out in all directions and slumped back against the mattress. Puffing a strand of hair out of his eyes, he willed sleep to come back. But it never did, things just kept reeling in his mind. He growled after a while and got up to get a drink.

Standing in front of the refrigerator light, he was still baffled about the whole situation. Miku never liked the real world. She would kill to keep from being deployed, and now she had begged to leave, from what taicho had said. She never told him what she was planning, that might have been due to the fact he had pissed her off and she nearly ended his life, but that didn't really matter to Renji. He searched and eventually found a carton of something, pulling it from the fridge, going back to his thoughts. He had felt almost betrayed that his friend didn't feel like telling him what the hell was going on, so when Taicho had complied to him leaving with her, there were really no second thoughts. If he didn't want to tell her, he would find out for himself.

He scoffed aloud at her secrecy and how it disgusted him, out of habit, and chugged milk from the container, not caring whether he was called a moocher again or not. He may have been scoffing at his inner monologue, but he really didn't care anymore. He just wanted to go back to sleep. Renji almost choked, mid chug, as a light chortle hit his ears. He coughed and wiped the excess moisture from his mouth, noticing Mikazuki leaning against the doorway smirking at him. "Other people drink from those things, you know? That's why they use those other things called cups," She laughed.

Renji gawked at his friend momentarily warranting an eyebrow raise from the girl. He shook his head loosening the thought that gripped his mind, "I almost choked to death! Why are we being so sneak all of a damn sudden?"

The raven haired girl laughed again, walking to the counter and popped onto it, steadying her feet on drawer handles. She slumped forward resting her elbows between her legs, sitting in a manly stance like she always did. Renji always thought that habit had got worse since her stay with Kuukaku, but that was who Mikazuki was, a tomboy. She shrugged, "I wasn't trying to be sneaky, you were just too busy to notice my entrance." Renji nodded silently and turned back to the refrigerator grabbing a half eaten sandwhich. He slapped the door shut with his foot, since both hands were full. Mikazuki outstretched her hand and Renji handed her the carton, never having to ask the question for the item.

Disregarding the abuse she had just given him about cups, she tilted the carton back to her lips. Renji laughed silently and turned his back to her, placing himself between her legs resting against the counter. Mikazuki sounded a muffled grunt trying to not spill liquid on herself and placed a hand on his back, sitting straight and leaning back. Renji just ignored the noises that came from the girl and continued to stuff his face.

He could feel her lower her head as her hair began to feather across his skin, and the carton hit the counter with a thump. She seemed to take a minute to decide whether or not to move away, before giving up and resting her forehead in the dip between his shoulder blades. Her arms stretched underneath his to rest on her legs, pressing against his sides. The action caused the red head to hold in a shudder. Why had stupid little things like this been happening since they had talk that ended their stalemate? Renji's thought process was cut short when she spoke, "So what are you doing up, anyway? Did I wake you up when I left?"

He grumbled through a mouth of food, "No, I hab ent bin sleepin good eifer for a wheel?"

She laughed and pulled her chin up to rest on his shoulder, taking the sandwhich out of his hand from below, "Try speaking English, it's a lot easier to understand than fatty." Her head disappeared behind him, but he could hear the crunch of the sandwhich before it was replaced in his hand.

Renji laughed, taking one last bite and examining the sandwich for a moment then tossing it into a bin across the room. He leaned backwards against her, arms folded across his chest, getting more comfortable. "So, are you ever goin to actually tell me what we are doing here? Why you aren't sleeping maybe? Would be nice to know what's goin on."

She had brought her head up to lean on his shoulder, it now being impossible to stay the other way. He watched her out of the corner of his eye. She sighed, with her eyes closed, "Only if you tell me why you pawned your way here with me?"

"Deal," he muttered, they were so close there was no reason to speak loudly anymore.

She never opened her eyes, but continued to talk, "Erm, well it's pretty much that I was sick of dealing with all the drama back home. I had nothing to do with it, and I was stuck in the middle of everything. Thanks to you."

He leaned his head back against her shoulder and stared at the ceiling, "Ya, sorry about that. I never actually said that. Sorry."

The look on her face, even with her eyes closed, looked confused for a second. Renji never apologized often, she was most likely caught off guard, but stammered, "No, point in worrying about it now. It's just when the memories of the…erm…"

"Rape."

He could feel her cringe at the word she was avoiding, "Ya. That. When they started to come back more often, the last thing I wanted to do was help everyone else. And then not sleeping made it get ten times worse, and I couldn't deal with all the bickering." She paused and seemed to consider whether to go on. She decided to tell the truth, just not the whole truth, "And the sleeping got worse because of these. Erm, dreams. They wake me up, 'cause I try to fight my way out of them. It's exhausting." _**Not telling you that the dreams are about you and me going at it, is probably for the best**_.

"That what happened that night on the couch?"

"Mhm, it started that night. I even got so sick of it that I went to Kurotsuhuchi to figure out something."

"I hate Captain Creepy, what could he say?"

"Apart from trying to get me to let him deprogram and poison me, he just said to get out. I thought that already so I asked the captain. Meaning out of the soul society for a while. So here I am." There was a long silence while Renji picked up his head and watched, with his full vision, her chin resting against his shoulder, eyes closed, hair falling around her and over him. He could see that circles were forming underneath her eyes, they had been slowly gaining on her for a while, but he thought it was just one of her nocturnal spells causing it. Guess not. She finally opened her eyes, when he thought she might have fallen asleep, and turned to look at him. Their gazes locked, unwavering. "Your turn," she mumbled with a smirk.

He smiled lightly back as she placed her head back on his shoulder and stared at his chest. "Well, I got bored. End of story."

Mikazuki took a hand from its resting place and began to trace the scar she had left him along his side. Her finger tips brushed idly against his skin, causing his skin to ripple in goosebumps, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her to stop. She began to trace along the tattoos that covered his torso, and Renji just watched her hands move silently. She had always admired his tattoos. Not that she didn't have her share of her own, but Mikazuki never showed them to anybody. Not like Renji did. He became lost in the rhythm of her fingers across his flesh when she broke his concentration, "Care to try that story again?"

He woke himself up with a snort and chuckled. She was apparently too tired to bitch at him for being a smart ass, so he complied, "Well," he began slowly, still watching her fingers run back and forth gently. "When we had our little," he paused again, only for a moment, feeling her touch get stronger as her arm was getting limp. He gulped quietly and continued, "Our little argument. It was hard to not talk to ya. It was probably just the idea that we couldn't talk that confused me. I was lost, pretty much. Never realized it before then." Her hand continued to slide back and forth, absent mindedly, along the tribal pattern. "And after all that yelling you did about not caring, and then talking to the captain, and realizing what the hell I had said," she paused for a second and he turned to look at her. Her brows were knitted, he knew she was remembering what he had said. Renji couldn't even believe he had the balls to say those things. No wonder she had almost killed him. The sad part was, he never blamed her for it after he gained consciousness. This look on her face only lasted for a second, as she pushed the thoughts away. Renji sighed relief, "I guess I figured I hadn't been the best friend kinda material for a while. So, I decided to fix that."

She stopped her motions, and Renji was almost sad at the loss of the sensation. She turned to look at him, hand gripping his side, "And, you weren't the least bit annoyed that I hadn't told you I was leaving in a hurry?"

He smiled. She wasn't angry, the look on her face was just questioning. "That may have had something to do with it too. But not the only reason."

She smiled and shook her head, "So there's more?" She inquired leaning away from him.

He turned his head and looked back at her propped on her palms, "Kinda." He wasn't sure how to tell his best friend about the weird thoughts he had been having about her lately. Worrying it would mess things up between them. But she didn't notice anything now, the way they were falling on each other, but that is only because that is how they had always been. The third day of classes together, he had grabbed her by the shoulder and slumped her to him as they walked. The look on her face in his memory almost made him laugh out loud right then.

Mikazuki arched her head backwards, the rising sun was beginning to pool into the windows. Neither of them had any clue how long they had been awake. Renji watched the light fall on her shoulders and down the curves of her chest, her normal uniform with its plunging neck line allowing the light to run along skin and fabric. She was the only one who wore this type of top, other than Soi Fon-Taicho and Yourichi-sama, and they did so for their shunpo. He was never really positive as to why her's was this way, but he wasn't complaining. Renji stared at her as her torso rose and fell with a deep sigh, she let out a low grunt while tilting her head side to side, stretching her neck. She finally picked her head up and slowly rose her head, opening her eyes heavily. She looked at Renji for a second, who was now staring at her face, and smiled, "As long as its not **just** because of me." _**If you only knew how much it was because of you, he thought to himself. **_

He smiled back at her and nodded his head. His eyes were becoming heavy too, "So, what's the plan of attack now, Captain," He said giving a mock salute.

She laughed, pulling a leg towards her swinging it around him, and popped to the floor. "The sooner we wake up, the sooner I get my new gigai. Old one was too out of date. So I say sleep, everybody around here is a morning person," she gave a shudder of disgust at the statement that made him shake his head at her. "I came here to slack off," she continued, "Not to be up at the crack of dawn. So, to the beds!" She gave the mock order and turned starting to march, literally march, towards the door.

Renji rolled his eyes and laughed to himself at his friend. She always got goofy with the lack of sleep. He couldn't resist his old ways though, and opened his mouth, "Is that an invitation?"

"Pft, you wish," she scoffed as he followed behind her staring at her back and the top of her head, "Anyway, I need some form of sleep or I might look as haggard as Ichigo in the morning." This sent a roar of laughter through the red head as she smirked towards the empty space in front of her, walking through their bedroom door.


	19. Slow Start

So, random and boring is what this chapter may be. I kind of have to lay foundations down now, and this is about as bad as it should get. Just an average night of the awkward pair walking the streets of Kurakara. Let me know what you think! P.S. I kept with the othe point of view than I was using. So, here it is:

The pair walked down streets through the night without real purpose. Neither of them had woken very early and were expected to clean when they awoke. Well, Renji was at least and Miku never let him do chores by himself. Urahara would never dare try to make her clean, but she still felt bad about Renji having to. She was never sure why he was so obedient to old hat and clogs but never pressed it.

She stretched her legs out dramatically in front of her with each step, the gigai was new and not worn in properly yet. She felt like she was wrapped in far too tight clothing but that would go away soon enough. Renji laughed, "You look like an idiot, normal people don't march around swinging their legs in front of them." Ignoring stares from passersby was something that was instinctual to her. They were both used to stares due to their odd appearances, especially when they were together.

"Normal people aren't being suffocated by an extra layer of two-sizes-too-small skin." She bickered stretching her arms in the air, knocking the black hood off of her head, and letting them fall to her sides. She sighed heavily and shoved her hands in the pockets of her black and silver military jacket. At least this one didn't look like it is three decades out of style. That was the only plus to the situation right now. She glanced at Renji who was walking quietly at her side, that was not normal.

His tattooed eyebrows were furrowed as he stared pensively at the ground in front of him. His red hair fell around his face, free from ponytail, beneath the black hood of the sweatshirt he wore. His shoulders were hunched and his feet were dragging beneath him. "Are you okay? Is it the clothes?" Mikazuki asked starting to worry.

Renji raised his eyes to her and looked confused for a second before smiling slightly at her and turning back to where he was going. "No, I looked like a hippy before. These are fine. And I had to give in to you dressing me eventually, we have been arguing about it for decades." He wasn't paying attention to anything, what sleep he had gotten the night before wasn't restful thanks to those god damned dreams that wouldn't go away. Renji had never been so exhausted in his life, but more sleep wouldn't help. The dreams would only come back. He figured Miku would notice his wandering mind eventually. He just wished she would stay out of his head so he could rest, he wouldn't be like this then.

"Then what's wrong?" she pressed. He knew she wouldn't let it go, she wasn't as submissive as he was by nature, and he was stubborn.

Renji laughed and slung his arm over his friend. She slumped forcibly against his side hooking her arm around his waist out of habit and he looked down to smile at her again, "It's nothing, stop worrying so much, mom."

She ignored the jest of calling her mom and glared at him, "If it was nothing you would have said 'nothing's wrong' but you said 'it's nothing'. So that implies something is the matter. You just won't tell me."

"I don't believe you have the right to lecture on that one, babe," Renji laughed.

Miku huffed and made a face that looked as if she were just smacked. She went to argue but was abruptly cut short by the loud booming of a drum and the sound of cheering crowds. The awkward pair looked at each other in confusion. Mikazuki pulled away from Renji, grabbing his wrist, and began to drag him towards the source of the noise. Renji didn't balk at being pulled along, but quickened his pace to keep up or his wrist was likely to be detached by the girl. She let go of him as they trotted down an alleyway to see the streetside on the opposite end packed with people. The sounds of music and cheering became loud and fell on top of them as they hit the edge of the crowd. The tops of brightly colored paper mache covered vehicles and costumes were barely visible above the heads of the crowd. Renji looked at Miku as she grabbed his hand again. She was smiling as she stood on her tip toes, arching to see over the crowd. "It's a parade, come on," she whispered before ducking in to the mass of people, Renji in tow.

Renji was in complete confusion as he stared at the oddly colored creatures and mobile settings these people had created. Some things he could never understand about humans. He scratched his head next to his friend, "I really never understood the traditions of humans?"

"Most of them aren't made to be understood. Just enjoyed. That's the whole point," Mikazuki said in a monotonous tone. He looked down at her as she became quiet. She wasn't staring at the creatures and bands of instruments that were marching past her. She looked pensively deep in thought as her eyes focused on a young boy and girl who were scrambling to pick up candy on the opposite edge of the street. Her eyes almost glossed over and a smile perked the outer edge of her lip up as the boy handed the girl a piece of candy she had been stretching for and she pulled him back to the sidewalk. The pair sat on the sidewalk's edge picking through their efforts victories and Miku seemed to still be lost in sad thought. Renji entwined his fingers in her hand that was still holding his loosely.

Miku shook the thoughts from her head and looked up at the red head and smiled. Renji smiled back, wondering what he had just witnessed, but forgot all too quickly. He did that when she smiled. They stood for a while and watched the colors and shapes roll by in silence. She seemed to be forcibly holding her gaze from the pair she was consumed in moments ago. Miku quickly lost interest in the scene around her. The pair of children had brought up memories that she didn't really want revisited so soon, but she found comfortable distraction in the warmth of Renji next to her. She sighed before squeezing his hand and turning to look down the street, "Let's go." She looked back at him letting go of his hand, he only nodded with a furrowed brow and a smirk.

They followed the street line in sync with the moving festival for a moment before disappearing down a small alleyway. Renji bounced in to place next to the raven haired girl who was hiding under her hood again, staring at the ground in front of her. "You sure like these dreary little side streets," Renji mocked trying to lighten the mood that had begun to hang in the air.

Miku laughed from beneath the cloth that shrouded her head, "Call it habit. Easier to travel without people crowding the way. I used to live in these _dreary little side streets_."

Renji loosely hooked his thumbs in his belt loops and continued to watch his friend. "So how is it that you remember all of these things from your mortal life anyway?"

She shrugged, never looking up at him, "I have no clue. No one can tell me why either. Trust me, I wish I remembered far less than I do."

The mood became more and more dismal as Renji padded along next to Mikazuki. She seemed to be wandering aimlessly, but at the same time she almost looked as if she knew where she were going. Turning here, switching streets there. Renji didn't question it, just followed like an obedient little puppy. He hated not knowing what was wrong with her. Worse than that, he hated not being able to help. At least it distracted him from his mental fatigue.

Miku came to a sudden stop with Renji scrambling to keep from running over her. "What the hell, Miku!?" Renji stammered regaining his balance.

She didn't respond, but simply stared inside of the shop window to their right. Renji turned to see what the screeching halt was so necessary for. Inside of the small conveniece store a young couple seemed to be fighting. Literally, fighting. There was a man with baggy clothes yelling at the woman who was yelling back and fighting off the fists that were trying to grab her. Her pink dress was ripped as he began to yank at her clothes. Shouts came from the doorway while the shop keep threw things at the man who now had his arms wrapped around the woman's neck, dragging her out to the street kicking and screaming. "Get the girl," was directed from Miku beneath the hood still covering her face. Renji nodded knowing she couldn't see, but she knew he wouldn't disagree so there was no need to see confirmation.

The pair separated to the left and right of the doorway, laying in wait. Just as the man made his way down the few stairs that led to the sidewalk, Renji reached from the right and hooked his arms around the flailing woman's waist. Mikazuki launched from the left grabbing a hold of the man's shoulders and planted her knee squarely on his spine. The man shrieked in pain as he released and crippled to his knees on the ground. Renji yanked the girl from harm's way and held her in his embrace as she struggled to breathe again and sobbed into his shoulder. He watched as Miku grabbed the man's right arm, wrenching it behind his back to pick him up by it, and flung him onto his stomach and face. The loud crack of the man's nose could be heard as it broke against the pavement. He shrieked again as she physically sat on the middle of his back, arm still in her grasp painfully, and pressed his head harshly into the cement with the heel of her boot.

"I'm calling the cops, hold him put," the elderly shop keep said rushing back inside.

"Take your time," Miku lauged as her free hand started to roam through pockets of the woman beater. He was yelling and moaning at her to get off while kicking his feet to and fro, but she paid no attention. Pulling a wallet out of one of his back pockets, she flipped it open and extracted the identification card by grasping it and flinging the wallet across the street. She examined the card lazily while holding the man down without any effort.

It took Renji all he had to not laugh at her lounging on top of this full grown man who was two heads taller than her, holding him still without any problems. Her hood had fallen down and her hair spilled down her shoulders as she read the card in front of her unamusedly.

"BITCH!" the man yelled at her from below. To which she only responded by planting his face deeper into the concrete with her combat boot heel. The woman continued to sob, at a slower pace now, into Renji's shoulder.

The shop keep came out and hurried down the stairs to the girl in Renji's arms. He took her from him and she shook in the elderly man's embrace. The gray haired man looked at the red head with his tattoos, unsure of what to make of him obviously. Renji just held his hands up silently meaning no harm, and the man nodded. He turned his head to Mikazuki as she continued to read, "They are on their way." She merely nodded with a solemn face and the elderly man turned back to Renji, "She lives above my shop, this has been happening regularly. Thank god you two came along to break it up this time."

"Hyuga Tatsuya, huh?" Miku asked herself, more than anyone around her, raising her eyebrows as she put her arm down that was holding the ID. She pressed her heel into the back of the man's skull again, "Is that your name, Hyuga?!" She said each word with a harsher grit of the teeth.

"Yes! Yes! It is!" He screeched as his face began to meld with the sidewalk.

"Well, Hyuga, I don't know who raised you to be a woman beater, but that is a big no no to anyone with any form of dignity. Cowards beat women when they get angry. Isn't that right?" She asked with a twist of his arm.

"Ya! Yes!"

"So can you tell me what that makes you now?"

"Coward, I'm a coward!"

"So, I don't really see how this world needs another coward. Can you tell me why it would, Hyuga?" She asked increasing the pain in his body again. He merely whimpered in hurt and tears began to leak down his face, mingling with the blood from his nose. "No, you can't. So that is why I am going to keep this ID here, and I am going to make sure that you stay away from this girl. Should she tell me that you ever laid a hand on her again, I will personally make sure that there is one less coward in this world. Got it?" she asked turning his face into the pavement again. He shrieked in pain, but that was all the response Miku needed. Sirens rang through the air and lights came to a halt on the street next to the scene.

Mikazuki stood up and let the police do their job, walking to stand next to a smirking Renji. She pocketed the ID in the back of her jeans as the old man hauled the girl to her feet. The pink dress lunged from the man to attach herself to Miku's chest. Miku held her arms in the air looking shocked at the woman who was holding on to her with all of her might. "Thank you… So… Much," the high pitched voice sobbed into her shirt.

Miku dropped her arms to the woman's back and head. She pulled a hand around to pull the woman's chin up so she could see her face. Renji watched as Miku pulled hair away from the woman's face and wiped her tears from her eyes, "I wil be checking on you, he won't hurt you again." This simple statement caused another flood of tears that Miku just flung away from the woman's eyes. "But we have to go now, no need for the cops to deal with us. I will see you soon…?"

"Ayumi," the girl whimpered.

"Janne, Ayumi," Miku smiled at the girl, turning her back towards the shop keep. Mikazuki stood to watch the view of the bloody man being pushed into the back of the cop car. Renji laid a hand on her shoulder, "We should go." She nodded and they both turned and began to jog down the alleyway. Neither of them had any intentions of spending the night in the police station faking real identities.

Clear from sight of the scenario, they slowed and began to walk in the same manner they had before. Renji shook his head with a grin, plopping a hand on her head and running his fingers down through her hair laughing. Miku looked up at her friend smiling. "What? People like that don't deserve respect," she said fixing her hair lazily.

He slung his arm around her shoulder slumping her into him the way he had when they had first began to wander, "You never cease to amaze me."

She laughed putting her arm around his waist again, "You're such an idiot."


	20. I Must Be An Idiot

Okayyyy, update with the length of doom. Haha. I am too tired to proofread, so I will do that later. Hope it is not too boring, and the story wasn't suppose to jump like that at the end. They didn't really want to listen to me, oh well. Again, reviews are loved and keep me writing, so let me know what you think of this.

* * *

The days were flying by. Slowly but surely, time ticked away in kurakara town and Miku's memories were slowly worming their way back into her mind. She hated feeling like a bipolar mess, one minute she was happy and laughing, the next she was frowning trying to keep her composure. Small things like a bird's flight triggered memories and things she had forgotten all together. All she could do was tell herself that this would all help in the long run. Truly, it was, every day seemed a little easier and less difficult to cope with. But she knew that there were far worse things her mind had yet to acknowledge, and that didn't exactly cheer her up.

It frustrated Renji to no end that he had no clue what was bringing on these mood swings in Mikazuki. It was rather difficult for him to keep his cool when she would stop mid sentence and then snap at him when he asked what the hell was wrong with her. They had almost come to blows a couple of times because he hadn't realized what was going on. To feel so useless was really what pissed him off the most. He had figured even if she told him, he probably couldn't really help either way. So he continued to sweep off steps and do chores every day in case she ever needed some form of help. But he knew that wasn't likely to happen any time soon seeing as stubborn with pride that Miku was. After being in the real world for a few weeks, the pair didn't feel the necessity to be together at all times. Mikazuki was walking through the park. Ichigo frequently traveled through here to get to school, but Mikazuki liked it because it was large and one could easily wander through the trees by stepping off the stone path. Much like she was now, her fingers tracing the sides of tree trunks as she meandered this way and that. This seemed to be the only place to do that in this city like town, so she took what she could get. Mikazuki closed her eyes and let her mind slip slowly inside of herself as her feet continued to pad along. This took longer to do with the gigai but she had discovered how to do it none the less. Her skin prickled as she felt heat come into being at her side, she slowly began to open her eyes to the sound of hoofbeats and continued her stroll with the fiery beast at her side. _How are we doing love. _Mikazuki inhaled deeply breathing in the smoky scent of the flames from the horses mane and tail, shrugging her shoulders.

**Okay I suppose. This whole process isn't going as fast as I had hoped it would. I am bored out of my mind really.**

_Hollow extermination doesn't pose that much of a threat to us, so there is no wonder it is boring. With everything else though, do you think you could handle all of these memories if it were going any faster? _

**You've got a point. I am testy at small memories. I don't know what I would do with bigger ones.**

_Like the rape? _

**Ya, that.**

The horse lowered it's head, giving it a shake. He rose again to hold his head proudly in the air. He seemed so out of place in this setting to Mikazuki. But she supposed fire maned equines with fur the shade of onyx were exactly the norm in kurakara town.

_You do know that you will soon have to acknowledge what happened, and your death in general? _

**Ya, I know that. Why do we have to jump straight into the deep end with these discussions? **She almost snapped. **I'm just not very excited to see how I will react to that. I am not fond of the whole mental reflection process in general.**

_Yes we have become skilled in the art of running from emotion and memory in the decades that have passed. But, you have always been good at that._

Mikazuki couldn't argue this point, so she simply nodded.

_And, I don't think either of us are excited about it. But it seems to be bothering us more than it should. Even if it is abnormal to remember these things in general. __Either way, I know I feel more relaxed now the we have some new scenery._

The flow of thoughts from her to the beast were as simple as breathing. The one plus about the whole self discussion process, you never actually had to talk.

**Ya, I do to. I thought that having Renji here would make things more difficult. But, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. **

The horse raised a brow towards its master. _I was just as anxious as you were when the whole discovery of his departure happened. But, you do seem to be in a better mood when he is around. Which is nice for me._

**What do you mean **_**better**_** mood?**

Hinoeuma's tone became more lighthearted with a small laugh.

_I am just noticing you two seem to be getting along better than you have in a long while, that is all. What did you think I was presuming?_

Mikazuki was on edge and treading lightly, she wasn't quite sure she liked where this was going anymore. But, Hinoeuma wouldn't be shoved aside so quickly as to stop the conversation here.

**I. Don't. Know…What's going on with you?**

The beast laughed again, his flames wicking idly in the air along with the sound. _Nothing, love. Why do you seem so on edge with the subject change?_

**Because you like to throw wrenches in things when I just figure out a system. **

_Would you enlighten me on what this system is?_

He was being indignant now and doing it to aggravate her.

**You know damn well what I am talking about, stop acting coy, Hinoeuma.**

He let a laugh slip again. _You mean with the dreams? _She nodded again, she was becoming more and more attitudinal by the moment. The fire laden horse was pushing buttons now, what she wouldn't give for an unexpected rain shower at the moment. That would serve him right. _You do seem to be dealing with them better. Or maybe just disregarding them all together._

**Can I just ask something, what happened to the **_**we**_** that was being used five seconds ago?**

_These are your dreams, love. Not mine._

**Oh, I see not **_**one for all and all for one**_** when things get aggravating, eh?**

_That's not it at all, you are just trying to change the subject._

**Am not.**

She was beginning to get flustered, and was losing things to comeback with. When did having a conversation with yourself become so complicated?

_Either way, these fantasies…_

**They aren't fantasies. He is my best friend and my sub conscious is fucking with me is all.**

_Your subconscious is telling you what you've been ignoring. That's why it is called a __**sub**__conscious. _

**You are about my least favorite thing going right now, I hope you know that.**

_Seeing as you are saying that to yourself essentially, I will let that go. _

All Mikazuki could do was snort an angry breath. Neither of them would give in any time soon. She was busy trying, with difficulty, to not consider herself insane. She had become a pitiful mess and it was driving her up a wall.

_Like I was saying, these fantasies that keep plaguing our dreams don't seem to be bothering you that much anymore. Well, other than this little debate that is. _

She glared at the horse from the corners of her eyes.

**I see no point in letting them bother me anymore. If they happen to pop in my head when Renji is around, I just push them out. They happen so frequently, it almost feels normal now. Which is not something I like too much.**

_And I haven't quite grasped what makes being with Renji such an outlandish idea to begin with._

The girl waved her hands frantically in front of her.

**Woah. Woah. Woah. That was a bit of a jump in the convo. **

_No it is not. The notion of the two of you wanting to be together is the only logical reason these dreams are pestering you. _

**I didn't ask for these things to just take over my mind, ya know? This **_**notion**_** you're talking about never dawned on me before these damn dreams started.**

_Do I need to reiterate the term __**sub**__conscious again? I still can't see why this is so ridiculous to begin with._

**You can't see why it is so weird? Everything about it just doesn't work.**

_How? You are both together constantly, and seem to be the only ones that can do that for the other. Neither of you can stand people for very long. You go hand in hand. You always have._

**But that has nothing to do with why we should be **_**together**_**. Besides, it would make no one happy, like Akako, Taichou, and Uta. In fact it throws a whole wrench into the **_**entire**_** system. You see now what I meant with you and the wrenches?**

_None of this seems to sound like the answer you should be giving._

**What's that?**

_That you wouldn't want to be with the idiot._

Mikazuki growled in her throat loudly. She couldn't seem to form words through her agitation. The very idea of her and her friend being an item may have been nagging at the back of her mind, but she never gave it any real thought. The aggravation could be sensed from the vibrations in the back of Mikazuki's throat so Hinoeuma decided to change the subject slightly.

_Have you noticed that the red headed oaf has been acting odd lately?_

Mikazuki paused for a second, trying to grasp the sudden flip in the conversation.

**What are you talking about? That's not what we were arguing about.**

_I know, it just seems he has been acting strange lately. You would not notice with your preoccupations, but he seems… troubled almost. And Zabimaru has been distant lately as well, I think they are worried for their master. _

**No I haven't noticed anything really. Not since that one night before we saved that girl. He was acting strange then. **

She scratched her head methodically, now that he had mentioned it, Renji has been acting funny. **But, wait. Why do you care all of the sudden? You have never really held Renji too high in regards**.

Hineouma almost looked troubled himself, but just shook his large head back and forth.

_Not true entirely. He is an idiot, but he has always done well by my master. At least at the end of the day. During the day would be a questionable matter._ The horse chuckled at his play on clichés._ You have always forgiven him, so I did as well. I just found it strange when Zabimaru shut themselves off to me. Usually I am being pestered incessantly. _

Mikazuki sighed deeply. Just what she needed, something else to worry about.

**I will look into it as soon as I get a chance. I should probably be more astute to things around me**.

The horse just shrugged slightly. _It was just an observation. Besides, isn't that the reason we are here? Time to think about us? _

She turned to look at the equine who was still padding along next to her. His eyes shut in sincerity with a smile to match, she could only manage to pull the edges of her mouth to mimic the action.

**This whole thinking about myself thing is harder than I thought.**

Hinoeuma let out a laugh as she giggled and scratched her head.

"Oi! Miku!"

The otherworldly pair swung around to see Ichigo, in his school uniform, trotting up behind them.

"Hey, Ichi! What are you doing out here?" Mikazuki asked with a smile as Hinoeuma bowed his head to the boy.

* * *

Renji had had enough of step sweeping hours ago. It may have been the only mundanely monotonous task Kisuke had given him he could actually do without focusing, but he quickly pitched the broom in the back door of the Urahara Shoten and began to stroll aimlessly down the street. He honestly had no idea or direction where he was going, or even how long he had been out when he hit the edge of the park, not even realizing it.

He just couldn't seem to wrap his head around how all of this happened all of a sudden? How and why Miku would just not leave his mind was driving him absolutely crazy. When he wasn't thinking about her, he was trying to find a reason why he was thinking about her so much. Not that the idea of them being an item was so off hand. They were closer than most couples were, he knew everyone around them always thought that was odd. The one big problem being that if he were to attempt at being anything more than friends with Miku, he would be breaking his cardinal rule. Since Rukia and the devastation that whole situation left him in, Renji had vowed to himself to never get overly intimate with his companions. He had come painfully close to breaking that vow with Akako for a long time, but he managed to fuck that up and get out of it like he always did. Yes, he was an asshole for what he did to Akako, he knew that, and it did bother him to live with it. It bothered him mostly because no one would understand why he did it, physical hurt he could take, other hurt, not so much. Miku would be the only one that would care to try and fathom his reasoning, but he didn't want to bother her with that now. Not when he was so bothered about her, himself. Renji couldn't stand it anymore and scratched his head furiously with both hands. After making a loud grunt of anger he heard a laugh from behind him. Renji froze and spun around to see Ichigo and his annoying orange hair laughing at him with a grin.

"Greaaaaat. Just what I need, more annoyance. What the hell are you laughing at?" Renji grumbled fixing the strands of hair that were hanging in his line of vision.

"The idiot who looks like an angry pinappley ape walking through a park," Ichigo said with a snort. He seemed to be in a good mood, which was good for Renji. Any other type of reaction and he may have had to kick his ass with the mood he was in himself.

Renji finally looked up to see silent Ichigo staring at him oddly, "Wh… What?"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "You didn't even sense my reiatsu when I was practically on top of you?" Renji made no move to answer, but remained still. "Are you feeling alright?"

Renji grunted in anger again, "I'm fine god dammit. What does it matter to you?"

Ichigo snorted, rolling his eyes and slinging his book bag over his shoulder, "Whatever. Miku is down in the lower edge of the park if you are looking for her. Seeing as you've become blind apparently." Ichigo turned to leave.

Renji piped up behind him, "What is she doing down there?"

Ichigo said to the air in front of him with a wave of his hand, not turning around, "Just sitting on that rock talking to Hinoeuma, now. I found them walking around the woods earlier" He turned his head and looked Renji up and down before meeting his confused gaze, "You might wanna straighten yourself out. She will never believe you're _fine_. She already thinks something is up with you."

Renji was lost in confusion as he pulled at the bottom of his t-shirt and looked down to see what was wrong with it. The his hazy understanding didn't fade as he found nothing wrong with it and Ichigo waved a sayonara walking down the cobbled path. He wanted to ask just what the hell Ichigo had meant, but Renji decided he didn't have the energy for the physical chase at the moment. He sighed as he turned around and made way for that damned boulder Miku loved to sit on when she had to think. It's a rock, what made it the ideal place to think never made any sense to him, but none the less he was trudging towards it. What the hell was he going to do?

* * *

**Hahahahaha! I have to tell Kon that one! Ichigo's expression would be priceless.**

_I do have to admit, I would love to see that one._

The pair had given up on discussing anything serious after Ichigo had barged in. Not that Mikazuki was objecting, she wanted to relax. Their laughter occupied them as Renji made his way towards their resting place. He leaned on his shoulder against a tree trunk, smirking as he watched Mikazuki wipe tears of laughter away from the corners of her eyes. She was adorable sitting cross legged in her skin tight jeans and boots with the large orange oversized sweatshirt she had just bought a couple of days ago. He didn't normally think such things of Miku, but the hooded shirt engulfed seventy five percent of her body. She had also been relaxing more, when she wasn't having bipolar fits, he had almost forgotten what she looked like when she laughed.

Taking the moisture away from her line of sight, Mikazuki gained her composure with a sigh as she watched the fiery wisps of Hinoeuma's mane flick in amusement through the air to her right. A chuckle reached her ears and she whipped her head around to see Renji in his long sleeve black shirt and baggy jeans leaning against a tree smirking at her. She smiled and shot Hinoeuma a short glance as he chortled under his breath next to her. "What are you doing here, Ren?" she asked as he made his way up the rock and next to her.

Renji plopped in place on her left and laid his back down against the rock, knees propped up and arm covering his eyes. All Mikazuki could see was his wolf toothed smirk as he said, "Stalking you. What else could I be doing?"

"I left you sweeping stairs with a mope on your face. Is stalking me that amusing that it could cheer you up like this?" Mikazuki asked with a laugh as she flung a rock at the horse who was holding in a fit of throaty giggles.

Renji laughed, "What's with my little pony over there? He seems awful _chipper_."

Mikazuki stuck her tongue out at the horse and he returned the gesture. He pulled his pride together with a dignified laugh, "I use the term gallant steed, thank you very much. At least I am not a hairy man lady or girly boy child."

Mikazuki sighed and shook her head, "Would the two of you quit it already?"

Renji grunted a response she could only take as a _fine_ before propping himself up on his elbows, "So what's the plan for the rest of the day, Cap'n?"

Mikazuki rocked back and forth in place and put on her thinking face. Renji had to resist laughing before she began to think out loud, "Hmmm, I don't know. I have to go with Ichigo tonight to that festival thing across town."

"That's what he was doing here earlier? Asking you to be his date?"

"Techinically, but not like that, moron," she said, half heartedly pitching a pebble at him.

Hinoeuma just watched the procession silently, taking it all in. Renji laughed, swiping the stone away as she stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of him. With each turn her legs began to swing in circles more dramatically, he rolled his eyes at her. She was doing this to amuse herself more than she was doing it to think, but he hadn't seen her in such a good mood in a while, so he just leaned back on his forearms and watched while she flailed and tapped her chin. The pensive look on her face was too amusing to not laugh, with her oversized hoodie and large headphones sitting around her neck. The large braid that held her hair back hung loosely behind her, and her bangs fell in her face the same way they always did. As Renji stared at his friend with a little too much interest, he could feel eyes on him as well. He turned to see the black horse staring at him with an amused look. They locked gazes while Renji asked a silent _what are you looking at like that_ with his eyes. Hinoeuma responded a _nothing_ in the same manner before looking to his master and smiling as she continued her public display of thinking.

"Ah! I have to find coffee to take home for me and Akako!" she exclaimed stopping in front of Renji, turning to face him. "But that will take most of the day, since we only drink that weird brand. You probably won't want to come."

Renji laughed as she picked up that over exaggerated pensive face and began to plot again, "Don't strain yourself there, babe."

She glared at him and bent over so her face was level with his and her hands on his knees were the only form of balance to hold her up, "You could come up with some ideas, ya know?"

Renji froze momentarily at the sudden proximity before sighing and thinking to himself _I must be crazy_. In one swift movement he moved his legs to throw her off balance and caught her around the waist. He laughed as he pulled her into his lap so that she was straddling his own waist. It took Mikazuki a second to fathom what just happened as she shook her head and whacked Renji in the chest, but made no objections to move. Renji laughed at her again, "So what was that about coffee?"

"You're an idiot," she stated simply and stared him in the face.

"What's with the mood swing?" he asked wrapping his arms around the small of her back.

She folded her arms against her chest, shrugged her shoulders innocently and smirked, "No mood swing, just stating a fact."

He made a face at her, "Is that so?" Mikazuki nodded and he sighed, "Miku can I ask you a question? Well, a favor I guess."

Her face dropped and her brow furrowed, "What is something wrong?"

He laughed once sadly and looked at the space between them before shuffling her closer. Mikazuki unfolded her arms and laid her hands on his chest with the lack of room between them now. She tried to search his face for some kind of answer as he spoke, "No, not really, Not like you think."

"Well, then what is it? Spit it out."

Renji looked up and stared her dead in the eye, "Promise me you won't kill me?"

Mikazuki was lost and utterly confused, "Won't kill you? Why would I kill you?"

Renji shook his head ignoring her questions, "No, that's not an answer. Just promise me you won't kill me."

"But I don't see why I…"

"Miku?!" Renji cut her off with a glare. Mikazuki snapped her mouth shut and just stared back for a moment.

"Fine, I won't kill you."

He sighed relief and dropped his gaze for a split second, "Good." With the last syllable of the word, Renji slipped a hand behind Mikazuki's neck and crashed their lips together forcefully.

She was frozen with shock for a second. Mikazuki's mind couldn't wrap around what the hell was happening in that very instant. When she finally started to fathom that Renji had kissed her. No correction, was _kissing_ her, he broke the connection between their mouths and looked at her questioningly.

The only problem, she couldn't form words. Mouth agape, hands clenching the fabric on Renji's chest. All she could do was make short, high-pitched stuttering, and unintelligible noises that would have formed shouts or questions at any other time. Her mind reeling was interrupted by the roaring of deep laughter. Hinoeuma was rolling around on the ground, completely beside himself. Renji laughed quietly, "Forgot you were there for a second."

Mikazuki's mouth snapped shut and her eyes turned to slits as they narrowed in anger. She grabbed the nearest projectile and flung it at the horse's head. The heavy stone landing on it's mark, Hineouma sat upright and looked at her, his eyes still laughing. Mikazuki flung herself whole bodily at the horse in anger only to be restrained by Renji's arms around her waist, "This is what you were getting at, you imbecile!? So help me God, wait till I get my hands on you, you day glow glorified pony!"

Hinoeuma chuckled and disappeared into thin air as Renji continued to struggle holding her in place. He only succeeded after pinning her against the ground beneath him, and that was only after she had stopped thrashing around so angrily. "Miku! He is your zanpaktou! You can't just start beating the shit out of him!" Renji yelled trying to calm her down.

She stopped abruptly and yanked her arms from his grip where he held them beside her head. She whacked him in the chest with her fist, but made no move to rearrange their position, " Watch me! And what the hell was that!? Is this why you have been acting so strange?!"

He made a face at her while she propped herself on her elbows, closing the distance between them to effectively glower at him, "Maybe? I don't really know what you are talking about?"

She continued to glare at him, all Renji could think of was the pain that was probably going to ensue following this stare of loathing.

"You promised you wouldn't kill me, remember?" He reminded her, giving his best innocent smile.

She glared at him for another second, that seemed like an eternity, before growling a sigh and plopping herself back on to the rock. Her hands covered her face as they sat there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a minute or two. and she finally spoke muffled from beneath her fingers, "So what happens now?"

Renji scrambled for a response, "Ummm, I don't know. Didn't think that far." She uncovered her face and slapped her arms dramatically against the stone. He looked at her questioningly, "Maybe you could come up with that one?" He tried the smile again for effect.

Renji's face instantly went blank as she glared at him again, propping herself back up on her elbows. She rolled her eyes and clenched them shut before speaking, "I must be an idiot." With that her eyes snapped open and their mouths found each other again. It was Renji's turn to be shocked as he fought to remember to breathe for a split second. It wasn't long before their lips were working against one another's and Renji was pushing them both back down to the ground. It felt like pure static electricity was working through him while their hips ground together and his tongue began to search her mouth. The taste of her was simply intoxicating, nothing those dreams could compare to, but they were both brought crashing back to reality as a loud ring and vibration escaped Mikazuki's pocket. They gasped for air, hovering on top of each other Renji leant his head against the crook of her neck breathing in her scent, she held onto this shoulder to hold her off of the ground while she pulled the phone from her pocket. She scanned with her eyes the screen frantically, that ring wasn't the ordinary one she had programmed for hollows, "Shit! Infestation near Ichigo's school, we gotta go, he is the only one there!"

They both had little time to think as they scrambled to their feet.


	21. Can't Think of a Title

This not entirely proofread, seeing as it is 1:30am and I wrote this in pieces over the last week. This chapter kind of jumps around a bit, so pay attention. I might add more detail later, but for now, it works. Comments=love

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The distraction of hollows gave Renji and Mikazuki little time to talk. Their hands were busy, albeit a monotonous task, hollow destruction took time that could have been spent otherwise. While the trio did their job, Mikazuki's mind was on other things. The repetitiveness of the phrases _bad idea_,_ what the hell did I do_, and the ever clear _GAH_ was almost mind numbing. What had just happened was wrong, everything about it. Her and Renji weren't something that could exist in any way. It would complicate things to no end. Mikazuki did notice what Hinoeuma had pointed out was now resounding in every reason she was giving.

_None of this seems to sound like the answer you should be giving. That you wouldn't want to be with the idiot._

It was true, she knew it. She could feel that unnerving sensation in the back of her senses that she prayed would just go away. Because, what was even more true, the two of them, together, would ruin things for everyone in their little makeshift family. It was remarkable that thing stayed together, even if it was haphazardly, after Renji and Akako split. _Damn, Akako_. This wouldn't go over well with her.

Nothing seemed to be fairing well for this whole situation. Renji wasn't sure what to make of what had just happened. He was dazy and felt like the whole thing may have been a daydream of some sick proportion. But the sight and feeling of the rush of wind as the cut down hollow evaporated and took off into the air anchored his mind to the fact it wasn't a dream. It had happened. This could either go well or blow up in a blaze.

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Carnival music lingered in the atmosphere lending the background music to the whizzing lights, ringing bells, and child like giggles that flew around their ears. Mikazuki laughed loudly, clenching her stomach, at something Ichigo had said while they wove in and out of the crowds. It was times like these that Mikazuki knew why her and Ichigo always remained friends, despite Akako's mild disapproval, he always provided a pleasant distraction from situations that were at hand. She and Renji had literally no time together from the moment of their kiss till the point that it was time to leave for the festival with Ichigo. Mikazuki was rather thankful for that though.

She knew that Ichigo sensed something was odd between her and Renji when they said their goodbyes earlier. The thing she loved about Ichigo was that he would never ask, he would simply help, he had always figured she would tell him if it was worth telling. Besides, if he ticked her off too much, she may not help him with the real task at hand. They were there to look for something for Rukia, seeing as he had probably pissed her off when their trio had left the seretei. Things like carnival toys were her favorite, and Miku knew how to pick things out, where Ichigo kind of failed at it. Seeing as he didn't see much of Miku anymore, the aspect of roller coasters and games were really killing two birds with one stone.

.................................................................

They had long since left the bright colors and organ music, and were walking through that same park they had met in earlier that day. Walking around with no aim or purpose seemed to be the only thing to do in Kurakara town these days, but Ichigo and Mikazuki laughed none the less.

Their conversation was cut short though when screams came from down the path. A woman was shrieking unintelligible words as she barreled towards a patrolling police officer. Her limp body sobbed while she fell crumpled at her feet. The helmeted police man pulled out his radio as a passerby sat with the woman and he sped off in the direction she was pointing. Ichigo and Mikazuki stopped to watch the scene.

"I think they have it under control. I wonder what happened to that lady?" Ichigo asked at Mikazuki's side. She tried to shrug, but she could barely fathom the words that were falling from his mouth, she could only stare at the torn clothes and bruised skin of the woman that the gentlemen was trying to cover with his coat while the police officer fled in his pursuit. Mikazuki should have known something was wrong as soon as her head started to spin.

Someone had to have sucker punched her in the gut, that was the only logical explanation for why she couldn't breathe. She buckled over as her mind took over her vision. Her stomach pained with nausea and she clenched onto it tightly as her sight reeled out of her own control. Her vision became a veil of black and shapes were blurred and bland. She could vaguely hear the loud worried chants of Ichigo through the hollow sounds of her own screams as she knelt to the ground for stability. The screams weren't coming from her mouth though. Although, she had to suppress them from doing so as the images hit her like a train wreck.

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Mikazuki was seventeen again, in her school uniform. Her biker boots clomped loudly against the wet pavement as she shrugged into her thigh length trench coat to try and protect herself in some way from the downpour of water the sky was relentlessly releasing. Her plaid skirt was already beginning to soak as it stuck out from the barrier her coat was providing.

She yelled a loud curse as a mass of body tackled her from nowhere and threw her to the ground and onto her back in an adjacent alley. Gaining her bearings, young Mikazuki propped herself on her elbows and shot her glance up to the force that had thrown her down, and was now standing dominantly above her at her feet. Hiroshi, her recently ex boyfriend's newly made best friend, sneered at her. Water ran down his features that would have normally been attractive, but were now twisted with malice. Anger possessed every tort of muscle in his body, he wasn't making any sort of move, he simply stood there in his slacks, suspenders, and wife beater glaring at her with that cockeyed smile. _Great, I am going to have to fight my way home._ This was the only thought that had crossed her mind. A fight she could handle, but she wasn't exactly fond of the idea. He would be a match for her though, Hiroshi was known as a hoodlum to all, and had no reserves about brawls. So, logically he had more than his share of practice. The only thing that worried her was his lack of worry. Hiroshi would fight with all he had, and do anything to win.

"Where are you going in such a hurry, Zuk?" He asked sarcastically with a grin. Hiroshi was exactly fond of the notion of his newly made best friend being dumped by a, what were the words he had used? Ah, _sniveling snooty bitch_. Just because she had wanted to distance herself from the gang to take care of her brother, and not be associated with a freshly addicted crack head, didn't make her a _snooty bitch_, but for someone who lived to break noses and run drugs, that made no sense.

Mikazuki picked herself up off of the wet ground cautiously, "Going home, Hiroshi. To what do I owe the rude drop in?" If he wanted a bitch, he was going to get one.

He laughed angrily, "Don't talk down to me, you whore. You're not going anywhere."

She held her ground through the driving rain as he stepped closer. The whites of his eyes were laced with red bloody veins. _Great, he is high. I am going to have fun now._ Staring him dead in the eye she spat at him with venom, "I only use manners to talk to human beings, not scum. And the last time I checked you weren't my keeper."

Hiroshi bit his lower lip with a smile and a laugh. He turned to look over his shoulder before whipping back towards her face with a clenched fist. Mikazuki dodged and peddled around, swapping positions with him preparing to fight. Hiroshi spun back around with another swing, then another, and another. Mikazuki jumped idly back and forth out of the way, trying to find good enough footing to nail Hiroshi hard. She would have to do so, because with the cocaine peddling through his system he would have a much higher pain threshold. Finally he stumbled and she leapt at the chance and flung a fist upwards into his jaw. With a loud clack, his jaws slammed together. He reeled backwards and clamped a hand over his mouth before spitting out a large amount of blood and a pink blob like chunk that she could only assume was his tongue. She looked down to see while he took the time to shriek like a banshee, and yes it was his tongue.

Mikazuki contemplated a fleeing, but did so too late when she realized that shadows were making their way from either end of the alley they were in. She was trapped and she knew it as seven faces of her former comrades, high as kites, began to draw closer and encircle them.

"Kill her!" Hiroshi screeched and bodies began to fly at her. Many of them crashed together while she danced out of the way. She ripped her jacket off and rolled underneath a flying fist, behind the attacker and covered his face with the black material. She reeled backwards, hauling the male with her, and spun him around before launching his body at an oncoming attacker. Mikazuki began to fight, as she had always done.

Apart from the sputtering Hiroshi was now behind her, and still whimpering as he gathered blood in his hands, only two of the men were left. They loomed in front of her on either side of her body. The right hand man flung himself at her, bearing a pair of brass knuckles. The man on her left did the same with a baseball bat in hand, seconds later. She swiveled out of the way in the nick of time, letting brass knuckles get hammered in the skull with the piece of wooden sports equipment. He dropped like a ton of lead bricks as the left hand man stared in disbelief at what he had just done. Mikazuki braced herself for the next attack as he snarled and turned towards her. He raised the weapon above his head and went to take flight, but froze suddenly. Mikazuki wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Pain seared deeply like a lightning bolt from the flesh in the right side of her back, to the flesh in the front of her abdomen. She bolted upright with a man's arm now wrapped around her neck pulling her flush against a body behind her. She only began to fathom through the adrenaline what had happened when Hiroshi's breathy voice whispered in her ear, "You are going to pay for what you've done, Zuk." Metal twisted inside of the deep intrusion and hot blood fell down Mikazuki's side.

The blade receded quickly from the wound just before she was spun like a top and thrusted back into the brick wall with Hiroshi's body pressed painfully against her. Mikazuki's head swam as the impact of her skull against the wall registered. She tried to claw and scream through the haze but was restrained by a forceful hand over her mouth. Hiroshi struggled to physically hold her cries for help in her mouth as he tore at her skirt and underwear. He laughed, beginning his violation of her body with a final thrust of his pants to the ground.

The last thing Mikazuki ever remembered was the cool piercing pain of the blade sliding between her ribs and twisting violently. Coppery blood pooled in her mouth as Hiroshi cackled in her ear, "No more screaming now, Zuk."

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"Miku! Miku!" Ichigo yelled crouched in front of her, face inches from hers, as he shook her shoulders in his hands trying to get her attention. Mikazuki was doubled over, kneeling on the concrete with her arms wrapped around herself.

She gasped a large swallow of air into her oxygen deprived lungs. The sensation stung her insides as it filtered through her body, bringing it back to life. Her whole body was shaking, she noticed, as she brought her hands to her face to wipe away the mass of tears that had involuntarily flooded from her eyes during her stupor.

"Miku are you okay? What happened?" Ichigo asked, worry lacing every word.

She pulled herself together, breathing heavily as if she had just ran a marathon, and sat back bringing her knees out in front of her. All of her muscles ached from being tensed and clenched to their breaking point. Mikazuki exhaled slowly, "I don't know, I think so," was all she could muster staring blankly at the ground between them.

Ichigo knelt closer, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He twisted her face to look into his, but she could only look back lifelessly. He released her, comfortable that she hadn't had a brain aneurism or something of the like, and stared at her as her chin fell almost to her chest. "Come on, let's get Renji and get you back to hat and clog's," he said reaching for his cell phone in his pocket.

In a flash, before Ichigo could pull the phone from its holding place, Mikazuki grabbed his wrist and held it firmly. Ichigo was stunned, she seemed so lifeless, how was she moving so quickly now? What the hell was going on?

Mikazuki stared at his wrist in her grasp, "No, I don't want Renji to know. Not yet." She didn't even appear phased as droplets of water began to fall from the sky.

Ichigo sighed and looked upwards towards the descending rain, "Well, then let's go anyway. You'll stay at my house." He had to pull her to her feet and wrap an arm around her waist before she began to move, otherwise she sat there like a rag doll, waiting for something to happen. Ichigo had no clue as to what was going on, but he wasn't going to let his friend hurt like she was, at least not alone.

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"Maybe, you shouldn't be so hasty about this now, Renji," Urahara said with his plastered grin attempting to cool down his guest, "She is a big girl. I am sure she is fine."

"She has been gone for almost two days, Kisuke!" Renji snapped as he readied to storm out of the shop, "She would've sent some form of message, she was only supposed to be going out with Ichigo. And I will kill him, if anything happened to her!"

Urahara sipped his tea slowly, "I still think you are overreacting. While she may be stubborn, Mikazuki is not stupid. She is not here for a reason."

Renji froze halfway out of the door, he knew that she wasn't here for a reason. He just hoped it wasn't the reason he kept thinking it was, but he knew Miku, one kiss wouldn't have caused all of this. She may have left for one night, but not two whole days. He shook the idea from his mind, slamming the door behind him and walking out into the rain. Ichigo better know where she was, or he was going to break necks.

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"What do you mean she isn't back yet?" Ichigo was utterly confused.

"Do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?! She never came back!" Renji bellowed, flailing his arms in frustration.

"She stayed here the other night, she left last night. She told me she was going back to Hat-and-Clog's." Ichigo repeated to himself trying to make some sense of what was going on.

"Well, that is all well and goddamned good BUT SHE ISN'T THERE!" Renji huffed angrily. He was going to kill her when he found her, he didn't care. Right now he was trying not to kill Ichigo for being such an idiot. He inhaled deeply as he wrapped his arms around his head that was lying against the marble kitchen counter, "So you are telling me that she left last night? That means no one has seen her in almost an entire day." He stood upright and slammed his fist against the surface, "Fuck!"

"Why wouldn't she go back, and where the hell could she be that no one has seen her?" Ichigo pulled the buzzing cell phone from his pocket, flipping the screen open, "Nope, Orihime and Chad haven't heard from her either."

"Why the hell wouldn't you walk her home if she was acting so weird?" Renji glowered at Ichigo.

"Don't blame me for this! She is more than capable of walking herself home! And I tried, she wouldn't let me!"

"Not being able to stand on her own the night before is far from capable, in my book!"

"Goddamnit don't you listen! I tried to walk her home! She wouldn't let me!"

"Wouldn't let you! Are you a man or a little girl!"

"Hey! What the hell is that…"

"Don't you think you should stop screaming at each other like apes and just go look for her already!" Kairin was standing in the doorway, little body tense with that same pissed off look on her face that Ichigo always made.

Renji sighed, "The twerp's right."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and nodded, "Ya, let's go."

"Idiots," Kairin muttered, stomping back to her bed.

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"I just don't get it," Ichigo said for the thousandth time, scratching his head, "If something was wrong, why wouldn't she just tell us?"

"Because it's Miku," Renji said without hesitation.

"True," Ichigo sighed, "We should probably split up, we have been wandering for almost an hour, we can cover more ground that way."

Renji nodded and they turned in opposite directions.

He kicked a stone angrily, plodding around aimlessly wasn't something he was exactly fond of, especially in the rain. Renji sighed and decided to finally look in the last place he could figure she would be. Whether she was being a baby or not, Renji had to find her or it would annoy the hell out of him till she came back. The clap of his feet against pavement changed to a dull thud as they parted their way down the grassy hill towards the river.

The large bridge that led out of Karakura town loomed in the dim gloom of the day like a gothic castle. It bobbed in his vision in its giantness as he made his way towards it. Miku always liked to watch the water, she thought it was calming. With the rain, she would be seeking shelter from the massive steel structure.

Luck was on Renji's side, as Renji pulled the phone from his pocket, typing the message to Ichigo that he had found her. There Miku sat in her black jeans, boots and leather jacket, with her white tank top he had left her in that night she went with Ichigo. She was resting on the bank of the river, propped backwards on the palms of her hands, eyes closed. She seemed to be listening to the mingling sounds of water both falling and rushing, completely unaware of his presence. Renji walked beneath the shelter the bridge gave and shook the hood from his head, it was odd how he wanted to throttle her for disappearing, but at the same time he just wanted to stare at her as she sat there. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, and while something was obviously wrong, she seemed peaceful and he didn't want to disturb that. Her hair fell behind her in dark waves, the locks curled around her face against her features that were, for once, relaxed and placid. Renji was lost in the glint the silver cross pendant, that hung loosely in the dip of her collarbones, as it moved with her breathing. He couldn't seem to fathom how he could want to just stand there and watch her now, when five minutes ago he would have given anything to find her and punch her in the mouth.

Renji gave up on any of the thoughts that were racing through his head, and walked quietly to her side. He squatted down and breathed in the scent of her he had been missing. The corner of her mouth pulled upwards in a slant smile before she sighed, "I figured it was only a matter of time before you came looking for me." She never made a move, and never opened her eyes.

"Miku." Renji couldn't think of anything else to say, but he had to say something.

Her whole body sighed and she slowly opened her eyes. She stared at the waves rolling in the river for a long second before turning slowly to Renji's questioning look. Her face was emotionless, relaxed and emotionless, but her eyes were different. Renji couldn't quite put a finger on it, but they were different. Miku stared at him in silence trying to gauge his expression. He was obviously worried, Renji had more than likely been angry a short while ago, but now he was simply worried and confused. She was sorry that she had done that to him, but she had needed to and it wasn't going to kill him. They just stared at each other in mute silence, the nature surrounding them the only sounds in the air, there seemed no need for words.

Renji broke the gaze and bent his head downwards into his hand to run his fingers through his hair. He remained balanced on the balls of his feet as their eyes met again and he pulled up the guts to ask finally, "Miku, was this about the kiss the oth…"

"This had nothing to do with that," She cut him off turning to look back at the water. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, her eyes never leaving the water, "I am not that childish that I would runaway from something like that."

"I know you're not," Renji stared at her back, "But why then?"

With the question, Miku's entire body tensed, almost as if it were in defense of the answer she was supposed to be giving. "It wasn't because of that," was all she could mutter.

Most people would still be lost, but these small movements made something click to Renji. He instantly understood why she hadn't come back, she had collapsed on Ichigo, and why she was so empty of emotion at this very moment. Renji stretched a hand to her shoulder and she seemed to relax at the comforting grip, but she never moved really. Renji sighed, "Well, where have you been? You couldn't have stayed here the entire time."

Miku inhaled deeply and popped to her feet in one swift movement that caught Renji off guard and he tipped backwards on his ass. She looked down at him with a smirk, hands stuffed in her jacket pockets, "Come on, I'll show you." Renji scrambled to his feet to catch up as she walked in to the rain, throwing her hood over her head.

Renji remained silent, following Miku as they wove down pavement lined streets. His eyes took in their surroundings while they began to shift. Posh department store windows turned into little side street convenience stores before they became completely abandoned buildings altogether. Run down brick warehouses lined the unused roads. Windows on every first floor were nailed shut with wooden planks, the upper floors were lucky to have glass in there panes as most of them were broken. Weeds sprung up between cracks in the concrete sidewalk while streetlights were either dim, or not alight all together. This was the old side of town, Renji had never been here. What he couldn't get was why Miku had been here while she was missing.

Nonetheless, Renji followed without a word. They walked down the abandoned street, Miku never looked up, except to stare at one large slate gray warehouse before she ducked around its corner and slithered down a small alley. On the other side the soles of their shoes padded along grass that hadn't been tended to in ages, but there was one small path where Miku must have tromped through before that they were now following. The trodden vegetation led to a rundown old three story house that faced the rear of the old gray warehouse. Renji still had no clue what they were doing.

Miku was unphased as she climbed the front steps and stood on the patio that wrapped around the entirety of the home. Boards from the awning that covered the patio were swaying in the breeze, some fallen down completely. Leaves littered the floor. She stopped suddenly, and Renji halted, on the concrete bottom stoop, confused. He followed her gaze with his own to find her staring down at the step beneath his feet. There in the hardened rock were two sets of hand prints, one the size of a child, the other of a smaller child from what he could tell.

"They are mine," Miku said staring at the impressions, "The bigger ones were mine, the smaller were my brother's." She looked back at the vacant building behind them, "That old ware house was my family's. Tenshin Art Supplies. We lost it all after the car crash, when my brother and I had to go with our grandparents. No parents, no factory."

Renji could finally see something in her face when she spoke the words. It was lined with both happiness and hurt. "You lived, here?" It was the stupid question to ask, but he honestly couldn't think of anything else to say.

Miku just nodded solemnly before turning and pushing the cracked door. He followed silently again, leaving a glance at the white chips of paint that had fluttered from the door to the ground in their wake.

They stood in a narrow hallway that laid in the center of the house. There was a room to either side of them, as well as on the opposite end of the hall, and in front of them, to their right sat a stair case leading to the second floor. Renji stood next to Miku as she looked to their left and nodded at the room, "That was the living room, we used to have parties in there. Most of the time we just played board games, though. That corner near the big window was where the Christmas tree always went. There is still the mark on the ceiling where the tree hit it when I was 8. Dad bought it almost a foot too tall." Renji watched her as she told him the hidden history of this now rundown shack. She never smiled with her lips, but her eyes were glistening in their reminiscing.

She then turned away from him and nodded to the right, "That was the dining room. The walls were lined with cabinets that used to hold China Mom collected. We had every holiday dinner in there. One year we had to eat my birthday dinner in the living room though, the table cracked right in half."

She turned and looked down the hallway, "Kitchen's down there. I swear it still smells like burnt rice." She stared at her feet as she left Renji's presence and walked up the stairs. Renji just listened as she told him how her and her little brother had used blankets to slide down this very staircase too many times to count.

She pointed out the bathroom on the front end of the house, next her parent's bedroom where her brother was actually born because they couldn't get to the hospital, then her brother's bedroom where she had painted him a mural of clouds for his nursery, then later painted it into a race car when he was older. Miku laid a hand on the second to last doorway, pausing, "This was my bedroom. It was purple and I had three horseshoes above my doorway for good luck." She looked up and kept walking, "But here is where I spent most of my time."

They walked through the last doorway, that laid at the top of the staircase. Faded Victorian floral wallpaper peeled off of the walls still while the floor creaked beneath their feet. Miku moved to the window that laid across the back of the room that held a window bench, but she just leaned against the wall with her arms folded against her chest. She stared out the glass pane, finishing her speech, "This is where I did my homework, and Dad and I painted at easels together. There was a piano back in that corner that I learned to play on. And out there, beneath that Sakura tree, my favorite dog is buried." She sighed as Renji came to her side and stared at the tree with her, stealing a sideways, downwards glance at his feet to not make eye contact, "I know they say you can't go home again, and I guess it's true. I just had to come back one last time. Now that I remembered how to get here. I can't take anything but a memory."

Renji cocked a hip, watching the petals fall from the pink tree against the force of the water droplets, "Did remembering all of this clear anything up?" She didn't answer right away, so he rephrased, "I mean, do you have any idea why it happened? Why it all came back?"

Mikazuki stared at the bench in front of her, "I am not sure. I have been myself in a long time, maybe it was to bring me back to ground zero. Start over again."

Renji turned and watched her as she spoke. It hurt to say of all of this, he could tell, but she was telling him either way. "And being here helped.?" he asked.

"I thought it would," she told him, still staring at the bench. Her voice cracked in her throat as she began again, "It did to an extent, the rest I have to take care of myself." Miku sighed and dropped the side of her head against the wall she was leaning on, propping a knee on the window seat in front of her. "Renji, I won't be able to fix this," she said plainly after a long silence as they stared at the falling petals of the tree.

Renji shrugged and sat down on the bench to look at Miku, but only did so out of his peripherals. He stared at the sakura tree and the way it swayed with the waves of wind, it seemed to have Mikazuki mesmerized. "What exactly are you not going to be able to fix?"

She pushed herself from the wall, plopping into the space in front of the glass that Renji wasn't taking up. Never taking her eyes from the scene outside of the window, Mikazuki made room for herself to fit, Renji was taking up most of the seat with his sprawled out legs, but she resorted to wrapping her legs through and around his to make space. She waved her hand between the two of them, "This."

Renji smiled, cocking his head, "You mean us, and I thought this had nothing to do with what happened?"

"It didn't," Mikazuki said, staring him dead in the eye as he grinned at her, "I had a lot of extra time to think. And it's not funny."

"I'm not laughing," Renji said raising his hands in defense.

"I'm serious," he could tell she wasn't in the mood to joke, so he put on his listening face and waited for the onslaught. She crossed her arms over her chest, "This can't end well. Not to mention it will not sit well with anyone I can possibly think of."

"Why does it matter if it _sits well_ with anyone else or not?"

"Because I happen to like my friends, thank you very much."

"Then we don't tell them, simple as that. By the time they figure it out, we will have too."

"Akako will kill me."

"It's none of Akako's business."

"Being one of my closest friends, I think it is. And it doesn't matter, she will kill me anyway."

Renji rolled his eyes, "You can take her."

"Then we will both be dead."

"Like I said, by the time they figure it out, we will know how to deal with it."

Miku grunted and thudded her head backwards against the wall to stare at the ceiling, "And I am not gonna be one of your harem girls."

"Harem girls!? We are doing this already!?" Renji said, caught off guard for a moment. This argument wasn't something he was banking on having when he woke up this morning in a rage.

She pulled her gaze back down, glaring at him, while he gawked at her in disbelief. Renji was trying to comprehend that they were actually having this conversation. Miku wasn't playing around, "Yes, harem girls. You heard me. I'm not joking… I will kill you."

He was frustrated now, he didn't like having to defend himself, but she had a right to be bringing this up. He couldn't deny that. So instead of getting angry, Renji just clamped his mouth shut and glowered out the window, "I wasn't planning on having _harem girls_, as you put it so beautifully, anymore." He turned to see her staring at him, obviously trying to gauge his response. Renji sighed and stared back, "You know me better than anyone else, am I lieing?"

She squinted an eye angrily, "This is different."

"Fine don't believe me," he toyed, turning to look back out the window.

They both sat in silence, staring at the pink flower petals as they surfed the swirls of air slowly. Even in the obvious discomfort the conversation had caused, there was no tension hanging in the air. The pair lounged on the window seat lazily, listening to the howls of the wind as it wrapped around the house.

Mikazuki shook her head and untangled herself to stand from the bench. Renji watched as she walked to the center of the room and looked around at the walls again. He could almost picture her as a child running through the hallway, into this very room with her little dress and hair bow, both dirtied with mud. The piano sat in the corner across from him, next to the easel with a rainbow of blended paints. There would have been a thick deep red rug beneath their feet, matched with the Victorian wallpaper that still clinged to the walls. Now the carpet was replaced with debris from the ceiling, the wallpaper was stained and eroding from the walls, and in the place of the smiling, soiled dress wearing, laughing little girl stood the afterlife of her twenty something year old self, burdened and broken. Renji couldn't help but think that her and this house were one in the same. But she did live on in a way, just like that cherry blossom tree in the back yard. Out of death bloomed something beautiful, whether it was by happy means or not.

Mikazuki stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets, cocking a hip in her normal stance. He could only see the back of her while she looked down at the ground, toying with a rock under her feet. "It's not even that I won't be able to fix our dysfunctional little family," she began, preoccupying her gaze with the stone beneath her, "I am so sick of fixing everything for everyone else anyway. You have no clue what it is like to have everyone looking at you for advice, to pick things back up, and put them back together all the time. I can't have any of those moments myself because I have no time to, I am too busy patching everything back up for everyone else." Renji stared at her back puzzled, deciding to get to his feet. She shifted uncomfortably as he neared. With a gulp and a sigh, and another shift, she started again, "It's not even that I won't be able to fix that. It's that I won't be able to fix us," her voice began to quite in discomfort, "You're my best friend, Renji. If something goes wrong…I don't know how I can afford to lose you too."

Renji reached an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she held hers to her body stiffly for a moment before she did something she never had before. Miku relaxed, turning in his grasp, and wrapped her arms around Renji's back, clinging tightly in desperation. His heart ached for her and he wished he could say something to make her feel better, but Renji knew words wouldn't make anything better. The simple warmth of his presence was all he could do right now, and it meant the world to her. More than he knew, it meant the world to her.

The silence was rudely interrupted sometime later as a stomach made a loud grumble, and it wasn't Renji's. Miku laughed as she pulled away, burying her face in her hands to wipe away the tears, "I guess I haven't really eaten since I left." Renji smiled, fixing the hair in her face. She sighed looking up at him, "Let's go back." She watched him smile at her for a second before becoming confused, "What?"

Renji closed the gap between them and grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Lowering his face to meet hers, he grinned, "I really must be crazy," he murmured before placing his lips softly on hers. But what he wasn't prepared for was the feeling of her lips gently reciprocating the kiss. Renji pulled away slowly before his knees became any weaker.

Mikazuki smiled softly at him, "And I am the idiot. Now, let's go, I'm starving." They unwrapped from each other and made the move towards the door before Mikazuki stopped suddenly. She whirled around to stare him in the eye again, and waved a finger at him, "And if you tell anyone, anything I said here today, you're dead."


End file.
